I had a baby when I was 16.
I will be 18 this summer.
I was living in a group home and everything was going okay, it was rough at times, but I had my life planned out and I was doing great in school.
Then this September I got kicked out because they said I wasn't trying hard enough.
I had to move back home with my family.
There are 7 of us and two dogs in one small house.
My mom talked me into getting my GED, so I'm not in school anymore. I missed out on my senior year.
I don't really have any friends anymore.
I can't find a job.
My grandma gives me money every month - enough for gas and diapers. I'm supposed to enroll in college for this fall and I'm really scared of failing.
I'm struggling with my OCD, depression, and eating disorders.
And on top of all that, I'm a single mom.
None of the few friends I have understand how hard it is.
My mom tells me all the time how I'm a bad mother and things like that.
She complains when I go out with the man that I'm dating, even though I watch my sisters all the time for her & her husband to go out and even when they are here, because they don't want to get out of bed.
I'm kind of thinking of putting her up for adoption, so that I can focus on school and she can have a family who gives her the attention, love, and things that she needs & deserves.
But I'm scared. I love her even though having her has caused me so much pain and hardship. I don't want her to grow up and hate me if I give her up. I just want her to have a real family with a nice, clean house in a safe neighborhood.
I just don't know what to do.
What do you think?