Ask Me Help Desk - Met an ex! Not smart

So this is my story.I was going out with a guy for about a year an a half and we broke up last January! And although it was his idea I was relived as I hadn't felt it had been going well for months and just didn't have the guts to finish it myself. So we decided to be friends and as you can imagine that didn't last when I starting seeing someone else although it was nothing serious my ex felt it was appropriate to yell at me in front of everyone in our local bar and really make a fool of both himself and me when I tried to just say hello to him minus the guy there, still thinking we were trying to be friends, and continued to ignore both my friends and family members. So fast forward a year and two months and I have been travelling and just returned home. He came up to me in the same bar a few nights ago handed me a drink and said he was very sorry for everything that happened and he couldn't believe the way he had treated me. I thought great thank you for apologising and we had a few more drinks and although nother very serious happened it nearly did. The next day I didn't want him thinking that I was now looking for a relationship again so calld him and asked if he'd like to meet up to clear the air and to tell him I wasn't expecting anymore and it was just a drunking mistake. Said he was busy that day and haven't heard from him since. Now I know how this might look to him and I think that's what's annoyinh me the thought that he assumes that I'm still crazy about him and want him back! I do not! My best friend told me that when I was away he's told people he's now off going steady and we would never get back. I would just like to know if this makes sense to anyone else or if I'm over analysing or thinking this? Also the fat that I forgave him so easily am I a glutton for punishment? Thank you so much for reading and I'd appreciate any feed back

You did not love him, you were relived when he broke up, you both moved on, but he is making drama, disturb your new relationship, and the most importantly destroying YOR SELF ESTEEM and REPUTATION!
Why on earth you think you have to be his friend who is clearly JERK?
Please stop drinking, having sex with this jerk, cut all contact with him. You made a big mistake to allow him TO DO YOU even though you know he is behaving bad, and make scenes at bar. He took advantage from you, and then despises you on your back.

If you think he acted out because he was jealous, and it means he is still in love with you and you have hope, you were mistaken. He does not even respect you. Nobody loves a person he/she does not even respect. You deserved to be respected, and work hard to get respect from people around you.

You cannot undo what you did.
Only thing you can do is stay way from this jerk, ignore him, work on your life, and regain your reputation. You did you have to go the same bar with you new boy friend where he goes. Is it the only bar in the town?

Thanks for the advice but your mistaken. I Definitely DID NOT SLEEP WITH HIM!! I did not take this new boyfriend to the same bar I went with my girlfriends both times, and I only went out with the new guy for about 2 months so that's long over. Also my friend is his cousin and my best friend is married to his cousin so sometimes it works out that we travel in the same circles although before I have never spoken to him and excused myself from his or his friends company. I live in a small town and have been travellin for about 8 months so only recently got back into town. I appreciate your comments though and although I didn't want to go back to him I think I took his feelings too much into consideration and in future I will only be thinking about my own. Oh I have been friends with my gf's for over 16 years since school so I'm not missing an event with them because of him

I think you just leave it as it is.

When you next see him,be polite but busy.

He is history.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irishgirl

Thanks for the advice but your mistaken. I DEFINATELY DID NOT SLEEP WITH HIM!!!!I did not take this new bf to the same bar I went with my girlfriends both times, and I only went out with the new guy for about 2 months so thats long over. Also my friend is his cousin and my best friend is married to his cousin so sometimes it works out that we travel in the same circles although before I have never spoken to him and excused myself from his or his friends company. I live in a small town and have been travellin for about 8 months so only recently got back into town. I appreciate your comments though and although I didn;t want to go back to him I think I took his feelings to much into consideration and in future I will only be thinking about my own. Oh I have been friends with my gf's for over 16 years since school so I'm not missing an event with them because of him

Oh, I am so glad, I was wrong, and you did not sleep with him. My apology.
How is your new boy friend take this incident?

All I got out of this was bars, and drinking. AND HIGH DRAMA. Hey making contact with him is a mistake you can correct by leaving him and what he is doing ALONE. Drunk, sober, or anywhere in between.

I'm from Ireland and all we have is bars and drinking, only joking, thanks for the advice and when I see him again I will be polite but in a hurry to leave, I have pre-warned my friend that if we see him tonight he has to say come on we are going to be late or something and hurry off as I no longer even want to be in his company.