Ok so couple weeks ago I was here about my relatipnship problems... now its over but I'm confused. A few days ago I had a strong feeling that my boyfriend was talking to some one else whenever I ask him he would tell me he isn't cheating and I should stop accusing him... I would do it a lot because of how I feel and he would get mad at times... the other day I found a text in his phone saying "im here wondering if im going to c u tonight....." there and then I knew I was right... I confronted him he swore he wasn't cheating, he didn't explain much about the text maybe he was shocked or something or too guilty I mean you can't stop some one from cheating and things haven't been going good in our relationship so... yea. Anyway I started packing my things and he said he was going to move out as well to a different place, I didn't tell him it was over but he said he got the picture. I didn't have anywhere to go as I wasn't working to pay the rent and I'm in a foreign country so he said I could stay another month and he will pay for the apt and the bills. This is where I'm confused, he said he just can't do it any more he can't continue the relationship with all the arguing and accusations and I'm sure he was also stressed and maybe needed time for himself so I say OK no problem, but he still wants to help me with my rent and bills in the future ( I just got a job) he says he will still help me with my rent and bills as he still loves me... my cousin says I should give him a break and within a month's time I can try and talk to him again if I still have feelings for him, right now I love him soooo much and he says he still loves me even though he says he can't do it anymore, he says its not that he don't want to do it he just can't continue the rship, do you think a month from now I could try again? I am willing to because he is a wonderful man and I was happy with him until all the arguments and accusations start... he is LEO if that helps give me some advice... should I let go and move on or should I try again even though he says he can't do it anymore? We been officially apart for 5 days now but he still calls me every day and ask if I'm OK, how was my day and brings food for me if I didn't make dinner... Wednesday he called me saying the guy whom he used to ask to take food for me ask him why he hasn't taken any to me in a while... he was asking me what he should say to the guy.. The other night I went to his place he invited me to spend the night... I saw a condom on his dresser... night before last he brought me some food when he was leaving he kissed me on the lips as we (he) always do before... and squeezed my side like he used to..

Ok I see you're saying he's a wonderful man but would a wonderful man cheat on you? I don't think so.
He wasn't even able to explain anything about this text message and you seem to say you want to go back to him?
I don't think you should think about what's going to happen in one month when you don't even know what was this text message about.
He's fooling you with this money thing trying to make you think you need him and you seem to forget the reasons for the break up.
He needs to tell the truth about all this cheating instead of saying:i don't cheat ,I'm tired of accusations.
You have some good reasons to accuse him.
Don't forget it.

You said you have posted here previously,but you have only one post under your username,which I find odd.

As for the problem, its over and act accordingly.

Sort your own life out and have nothing more to do with him.

How long have you been in a relationship with him. Normally if there's a problem you would try to work it out. But in your case, he want to move out. Your suspicion may be real. You can't go no contact to sort out your life because you are still rely on him for your bills. He's offering to pay that's like his way of saying, I'll keep you on a leash for a while just in case.
If you found out he cheated, why would you want to go back. It will not going to work. I suggest move on and go no contact if you can.

It is very clear.
He said he cannot do it anymore, moved out and you saw enough evidence he is seeing someone else.
What are you confused about? Simply because he helped you paying rent?
He is cheating, your relationship is broken off, and you are dumped. I am glad you got the job. Pay your bill by your own as a grown woman, cut all ties with him. It is shame to depend on him who left you.
Gain some dignity, and move on. You do not have any hope. If you accept him, you will find out yourself one of the girls he sleeps with. That's what you want?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hungtoronto

How long have you been in a relationship with him. Normally if there's a problem you would try to work it out. But in your case, he want to move out. Your suspicion may be real. You can't go no contact to sort out your life because you are still rely on him for your bills. He's offering to pay that's like his way of saying, I'll keep you on a leash for a while just in case.
If you found out he cheated, why would you want to go back. It will not going to work. I suggest move on and go no contact if you can.

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The relationship was a year, 5 months and a half... he told me the other day that he still loves me but I changed the subject as I didn't want to talk about it because it still hurts

Why are you even allowing him in your life, and keeping those old feelings all stirred up. Stop the contact for now, and heal properly from the break up. Then at least you will see things more clearly, with a lot less confusion.

Healing takes time and there are no short cuts or quick fixes, not even under the excuse of being friends. That will take time too.

Honestly everyone is saying leave him and yada yada.
It is not easy to walk away from a year old relationship that you sat and invest your time in. And you should not be willing to walk away from an invested relationship so easily. Relationships are about growth, and two individuals trying to figure out each other and living together with both their likes and dislikes.
I am not saying that what he is doing is correct, and honestly no one really knows what the text is really about because only the guy and the person that sent the text can say what it is about.

Now… never let someone makes you an option in their life when you're making them a priority.

Guys do not like to be pressured, confronted, or accused of anything whether they are actually cheating. The fact that he still does everything and has you around is confusing but still shows that he has feelings for you. What you need to do is sit and talk with him even if it is painful to do. Let him know that you guys need to decide what you guys are doing. Let him know you love him and want to have a committed and serious relationship, and apologize for accusing him but state the facts has to why you felt the way you did. Ask him what the deal is, is he serious about needing a break or does he want to have a relationship with you. Tell him that you are not a girl, but a woman, who believes in second chances and knows that no one is perfect and makes mistakes.
Now if he says he still needs space etc, then tell him that's cool and walk away from the relationship. If he accepts your apology, this can go two ways
1. He can decide he wants to be with you and move back in, and this can mean two things he didn't cheat or he cheated and know that you know and forgive him.
2. He can decide to move in, and starts to apologize for his behavior and spill his guts, or he can apologize and leave it at that knowing that you know and forgives him.
Men do cheat and it's not right, but a man respects a woman who handles her business peacefully and humble. A woman who knows what he is capable of and forgives him and grants him a second chance. A woman that will fight for their relationship.
I know a lot of you might not agree with what I have to say but hon.
When it is all said and done it is up to you, and only you know where your heart lies. Sometimes it's good to let your heart lead you, and other times it's good to let your head lead you… Just know when to interchange them… good luck.

Honestly everyone is saying leave him and yada yada.
It is not easy to walk away from a year old relationship that you sat and invest your time in. And you should not be willing to walk away from an invested relationship so easily. Relationships are about growth, and two individuals trying to figure out each other and living together with both their likes and dislikes.
I am not saying that what he is doing is correct, and honestly no one really knows what the text is really about because only the guy and the person that sent the text can say what it is about.

Now… never let someone makes you an option in their life when you're making them a priority.

Guys do not like to be pressured, confronted, or accused of anything whether they are actually cheating. The fact that he still does everything and has you around is confusing but still shows that he has feelings for you. What you need to do is sit and talk with him even if it is painful to do. Let him know that you guys need to decide what you guys are doing. Let him know you love him and want to have a committed and serious relationship, and apologize for accusing him but state the facts has to why you felt the way you did. Ask him what the deal is, is he serious about needing a break or does he want to have a relationship with you. Tell him that you are not a girl, but a woman, who believes in second chances and knows that no one is perfect and makes mistakes.
Now if he says he still needs space etc, then tell him that's cool and walk away from the relationship. If he accepts your apology, this can go two ways
1. He can decide he wants to be with you and move back in, and this can mean two things he didn't cheat or he cheated and know that you know and forgive him.
2. He can decide to move in, and starts to apologize for his behavior and spill his guts, or he can apologize and leave it at that knowing that you know and forgives him.
Men do cheat and it's not right, but a man respects a woman who handles her business peacefully and humble. A woman who knows what he is capable of and forgives him and grants him a second chance. A woman that will fight for their relationship.
I know a lot of you might not agree with what I have to say but hon.
When it is all said and done it is up to you, and only you know where your heart lies. Sometimes it's good to let your heart lead you, and other times it's good to let your head lead you… Just know when to interchange them… good luck.

Honestly everyone is saying leave him and yada yada.
It is not easy to walk away from a year old relationship that you sat and invest your time in. And you should not be willing to walk away from an invested relationship so easily. Relationships are about growth, and two individuals trying to figure out each other and living together with both their likes and dislikes.
I am not saying that what he is doing is correct, and honestly no one really knows what the text is really about because only the guy and the person that sent the text can say what it is about.

Now… never let someone makes you an option in their life when you're making them a priority.

Guys do not like to be pressured, confronted, or accused of anything whether they are actually cheating. The fact that he still does everything and has you around is confusing but still shows that he has feelings for you. What you need to do is sit and talk with him even if it is painful to do. Let him know that you guys need to decide what you guys are doing. Let him know you love him and want to have a committed and serious relationship, and apologize for accusing him but state the facts has to why you felt the way you did. Ask him what the deal is, is he serious about needing a break or does he want to have a relationship with you. Tell him that you are not a girl, but a woman, who believes in second chances and knows that no one is perfect and makes mistakes.
Now if he says he still needs space etc, then tell him that's cool and walk away from the relationship. If he accepts your apology, this can go two ways
1. He can decide he wants to be with you and move back in, and this can mean two things he didn't cheat or he cheated and know that you know and forgive him.
2. He can decide to move in, and starts to apologize for his behavior and spill his guts, or he can apologize and leave it at that knowing that you know and forgives him.
Men do cheat and it's not right, but a man respects a woman who handles her business peacefully and humble. A woman who knows what he is capable of and forgives him and grants him a second chance. A woman that will fight for their relationship.
I know a lot of you might not agree with what I have to say but hon.
When it is all said and done it is up to you, and only you know where your heart lies. Sometimes it's good to let your heart lead you, and other times it's good to let your head lead you… Just know when to interchange them… good luck.