Ask Me Help Desk - My partner has no interest in sex could I be the cause of it

I have been with my partner for nearly 2 yrs, we have a 6 month old baby girl and up to the last 2 week we had a very good sexual relationship, my partner used to work away from home from Monday to Friday and come home for the weekend.
But three weeks ago my partner decided that he didn't want to work away from home any more because he didn't want to miss out on things with our baby girl like her first step and that so he told his boss he didn't want to work away any more and lost his job through it now he is trying to find a job local but at minute he isn't getting any joy,
He hasn't made love to me at all or even shown any intreast at all and when I asked him why he said he was stressed because he hadn't got a job... but to be honest I am beginning to feel as though he is no longer attrackted to me even though he is saying its nowt to do with me I can't help feel like that and getting really upset about it

Hi, mandy12!

Let me get this straight here, your partner lost his job because he decided to spend time with you and your daughter.

Correct?

Thanks!

Well, I think that you need to be a bit more compassionate and sensitive here. Your partner's just lost his job, and you're worried because you haven't had sex for two weeks?

Why are you making this about you?

The poor guy's lost his job, he's stressed and he's worried about getting another job... I'd say he's got a few things on his mind, don't you think?

I'd suggest you start being a bit more supportive - it sounds as if he's doing a lot for you - he's a man not a robot remember, he can't do everything at once.

Being in a relationship is about ebbs and flows and it involves give and take - it's called compromise - I'm sure his libido will rertun when he's more settled.

At a time like this it's important to think of his needs rather than yours - having sex is not the only way that couples can show each other they love each other - it's only been two weeks (not 2 months or two years), try to be patient.

Leave it to a very insecure person to take his problems, as a personal affront to your attractiveness as a partner. You should be supporting him through hard times, and not wondering when you get some attention.

He is very worried about keeping a roof over your head, and all you can think about is not getting your rocks off for a few weeks? Unbelievable.

How about you helping out with a job? Sorry to be so harsh, just as a guy that would erk me, seeing as a job was lost, trying to have more time with family. While I can understand his thinking, never would I quit a job or be fired for not being able to travel, if I had a family to support. Support him, as he probably is regretting his choice. Being broke, and having a family, will do that.

Once he's back on his feet, I'm sure he will be his old self-again.

He took a huge hit and the best thing that you can do is be as supportive as possible. Once he's back on his feet, I'm sure he will see how supportive you were and definitely make it up to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, mandy12!

Let me get this straight here, your partner lost his job because he decided to spend time with you and your daughter.

Correct?

Thanks!

Yes that is right

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemini54

Well, I think that you need to be a bit more compassionate and sensitive here. Your partner's just lost his job, and you're worried because you haven't had sex for two weeks?

Why are you making this about you?

The poor guy's lost his job, he's stressed and he's worried about getting another job....I'd say he's got a few things on his mind, don't you think?

I'd suggest you start being a bit more supportive - it sounds as if he's doing a lot for you - he's a man not a robot remember, he can't do everything at once.

Being in a relationship is about ebbs and flows and it involves give and take - it's called compromise - I'm sure his libido will rertun when he's more settled.

At a time like this it's important to think of his needs rather than yours - having sex is not the only way that couples can show each other they love each other - it's only been two weeks (not 2 months or two years), try to be patient.

The thing is the last time he went like this as well is when I fell pregnant with our daughter and then I found out he was having an affair... I know I shouldn't have but I looked at his phone and it was on silent something he never does and there was text messages on there from some other women asking him if he is going to ring her today

Quote:

Originally Posted by I wish

Once he's back on his feet, I'm sure he will be his old self-again.

He took a huge hit and the best thing that you can do is be as supportive as possible. Once he's back on his feet, I'm sure he will see how supportive you were and definitely make it up to you.

I hope so I just hope that this is the real reason because the last time he went like this I fell pregnant with our daughter and I found out he was having an affair plus I looked at his phone this morning and it was on silent that's summett he never does and there was a text message of another women asking him if he was going to ring her and he replied yea I will ring u

That puts a different spin on things-you need to have a serious talk about things-and you have to own up to checking his phone.

Stop looking and snooping, sit down and talk about your issues together. He is going through a tough time right now with losing his job, you might want to cut him a break on the sex department.

You called him your partner.
So, you guys have a baby together, but not married.
I personally do not understand why people have a baby without marriage.
Anyhow,

I will still bet he is deeply depressed and worried about his job situation. The whole world is going through tough recession, unemployment rate is so high, and it is so hard to get a job in this economy. He did not make smart movement. As a man who has a baby, his stress level should be very high. I feel for him. It is normal he lost his interest in sex.

About the txt message, your worry is understandable, since he cheated on you before. You said he cheated on you. How did he cheat on you? How did you find it out, and overcome the issue? It seems suspicious enough to me, but you never know if it is a job agent or something.

You need to talk to him eye to eye.
When you have suspicion in your mind without validation over jobless man, you can create a lot of stress, and full cycle of ugly drama from here. You know what I mean. Let's be logical from here.

I think you tell him the exact truth, that the last time he cheated he had his phone turned off, and its off again, and your suspicious, again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by myagony1234

You called him your partner.
So, you guys have a baby together, but not married.
I personally do not understand why people have a baby without marriage.
Anyhow,

I will still bet he is deeply depressed and worried about his job situation. The whole world is going through tough recession, unemployment rate is so high, and it is so hard to get a job in this economy. He did not make smart movement. As a man who has a baby, his stress level should be very high. I feel for him. It is normal he lost his interest in sex.

About the txt message, your worry is understandable, since he cheated on you before. You said he cheated on you. How did he cheat on you? How did you find it out, and overcome the issue? It seems suspicious enough to me, but you never know if it is a job agent or something.

You need to talk to him eye to eye.
When you have suspicion in your mind without validation over jobless man, you can create a lot of stress, and full cycle of ugly drama from here. You know what I mean. Let's be logical from here.

I found out because the person in question left a comment on 1 of his pages and called me stalker so I asked her who she was calling a stoker and she said me

I am starting to wonder what the truth is as you seem to have left out some very important facts, and keep dribbling more and more when pressed.