so basically, I was sexually flirting with a girl on an msn conversation with webcam at like 2 in the morning while talking to my girlfriend on the phone. I also sent her a Facebook message too with flirting. My girlfriend saw the msn conversation and asked me about it. I lied to her about so much and kept lying even after I was caught. I lied to her about the message and just random stuff, not even worth lying about. Did I mention I kept lying AFTER I was obviously caught (I don't know what's wrong with me)! I used to delete fb messages and phone history with the girl too BUT seriously the girl meant NOTHING to me. She meant NOTHING! I love my girlfriend. Unfortunately, I lied to her like 6 weeks before about talking to this girl on the phone, and she gave me a chance, hoping she can trust me again. I thought at that point she was going to leave me already. This was my chance and I obviously blew it. She was just starting to trust me again too. I didn't come clean about anything, which is why she left me. Even if I came clean about something I would have had a glimmer of hope. I just lied and got caught every time. I hurt her SO much since she loved me so much =( and she can't trust anything I do or say anymore for obvious reasons. I love her so much but I ed up so incredibly bad its not even funny! She answers my calls sometimes when I call her and still talks to me. I'm lucky enough right now that she is talking to me! And I'm so happy for that =) she's giving me a chance to talk and we're trying to see if we can work some things out and be friends.
do u have any ideas how I can try and win her back because I'm so sad ALL THE TIME and I miss her SO MUCH... I want her back but I royally ed up =(... breaking trust, not a good thing! Any help appreciated =)

P.S. The girl in question would always want to hang out but I didn't want to so I used my girlfriend as an excuse. I told the girl that my girlfriend didn't like her and thought she was a threat and that my girlfriend would get mad if I hung out with her. My girlfriend found out and instead of looking at it as me not wanting to see this girl she's taking it as I spread lies about her behind her back (she was never the jealous girlfriend and always the best thing to ever happen to me... never yelled at me or anything.. ) and I don't know what to do about too now.

Stop flirting & lying. That might be a good start.

"Caught everytime" C'mon.

Take some responsibility for your actions.

I don't blame her. I wouldn't trust you either.

Good lesson.

Serve your sentence, and if she decides to get with another guy, you deserve that too, because liars make terrible partners, and even worse friends. She will realize that eventually.

How old are you?
And why do you think lying is an acceptable way of life?

Leave this girl alone so she can find somebody who isn't a liar and a cheat.

If she wrote in here and explained what you said, we'd tell her to leave you. Period.

So...

Yeah...

I got nothing...

Other than stop it. You wouldn't be writing in here most likely if you hadn't been caught... so you need to either get better at hiding your lying or you need to stop it.

Takes less energy to stop.

If flirting with others is that important, man up and tell her what you want out of the relationship and be willing to step back if you cannot do what she has clearly asked you to do.

You are asking how to build back trust... it takes very little time to destroy it and much longer to get it back, if ever...

So again... if she said "how do i ever trust him again"... most would say "dont trust him ever again"...

Just the truth...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tabrezhussein

so basically, i was sexually flirting with a girl on an msn conversation with webcam at like 2 in the morning while talking to my girlfriend on the phone. I also sent her a facebook message too with flirting. My girlfriend saw the msn convo and asked me about it. i lied to her about so much and kept lieing even after i was caught. i lied to her about the message and just random stuff, not even worth lieing about. did i mention i kept lieing AFTER i was obviously caught (i dont know whats wrong with me)!! i used to delete fb msgs and phone history with the girl too BUT seriously the girl meant NOTHING to me. she meant NOTHING! i love my girlfriend. unfortunately, i lied to her like 6 weeks before about talking to this girl on the phone, and she gave me a chance, hoping she can trust me again. i thought at that point she was going to leave me already. this was my chance and i obviously blew it. she was just starting to trust me again too. i didnt come clean about anything, which is why she left me. even if i came clean about something i would have had a glimmer of hope. I just lied and got caught everytime. i hurt her SO much since she loved me so much =( and she can't trust anything i do or say anymore for obvious reasons. i love her so much but i ed up so incredibly bad its not even funny! she answers my calls sometimes when i call her and still talks to me. i'm lucky enough right now that she is talking to me! and i'm so happy for that =) she's giving me a chance to talk and we're trying to see if we can work some things out and be friends.
do u have any ideas how i can try and win her back b/c i'm so sad ALL THE TIME and i miss her SO MUCH...i want her back but i royally ed up =(....breaking trust, not a good thing!! any help appreciated =)

P.S. The girl in question would always want to hang out but I didn't want to so I used my girlfriend as an excuse. I told the girl that my girlfriend didn't like her and thought she was a threat and that my girlfriend would get mad if I hung out with her. My girlfriend found out and instead of looking at it as me not wanting to see this girl she's taking it as I spread lies about her behind her back (she was never the jealous girlfriend and always the best thing to ever happen to me...never yelled at me or anything..) and I don't know what to do about too now.

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so, you cheated on your girlfriend with someone who meant nothing to you? Your relationship with her meant so LITTLE to you that you would cheat on her with someone who meant NOTHING to you? Are you aware how that sounds? It sounds like that girl could have been any random person. That you would've been willing to cheat on your girlfriend with anyone willing to cheat with you.

that has to be the STUPIDEST choice of phrase when trying to justify cheating.

then, after proving that you would be willing to cheat on your girlfriend with any girl that comes along, you LIE about your girlfriend? You tell people things about her that aren't true, and you don't understand why she's upset by it? What if she was going around telling people that you had cheated on her with another guy? You lied about her to make yourself feel better. What if telling everyone she broke up with you because you're gay makes her feel better?

you DON'T LIE ABOUT PEOPLE! It's disrespectful, rude, and inconsiderate.

You got what you deserved, nothing more nothing less. Pay your dues and maybe now you will learn to keep your pervy thoughts to your girlfriend