Quote:

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Why dont you ever ask me if i want to have sex? Instead i have to ask you for a couple of days and then finally you say, Yeah after I take a shower. Then hours go by and i am getting mad and run my mouth and either f@$k it up or try to be calm. But by then i have been thinking about it for so long that i last about a minute and a half. I feel like its such a chore to you that you do that on purpose. Now i know your gonna say its because i act like a jerk, but even if everything is going great the second i mention sex you get mad or make me mad just to avoid sex with me. I also know you work hard and are tired but tired people have sex too. And if we are f-ing then me simply asking you to move over to the middle of the bed because i am sliding off you either sigh or do something else to let me know that i aggravated you. Dont get mad after you read this i am not trying to fight just wondering why?

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My boyfriend wrote me this note this morning with a few more expletives in it. I kind of wanted some opinions on it before I give any background just so its fair. We have been together off and on for 6 years and I am 27 he is 29.

Kids? Medications? Stress?

What ELSE is going on in your life?

And why do YOU think you have a low sex drive?

We need more information, please.

My initial opinion is that he's calling you out as a cock tease. Glib remarks aside, we can only give opinions with information given.

From the frustrated tone in the note it sounds like you're brushing off your boyfriend. He wants to have sex and you're not providing. Rather you're teasing him. You say yes, but later and never plan on having sex with him.

It really sounds like he feels that you're doing pretty much everything you can to not have sex with him and it is frustrating him.

It sounds like there has been fundamental lack of communication between the two of you.

The questions I have for you:
1). Do you know why your libido is so low?
2). Are you on hormonal birth control. Ie, The pill, the Nuva Ring, the Depo shot, etc.
3). You say that he's your on again off again boyfriend. Why is the relationship unstable?
4). Have you sought any sort of medical help for your lack of libido?
5). Have you sought any sort of relational counselling?

I think we need more background before we can really give you more advice.

The note sounds like his attempt to get you both talking about something that is frustrating him. The note sounds like he has to work at getting you to have sex and when you do you act like it's a chore and you don't enjoy it.

Have you talked about this before?

Why are you on and off in your relationship?