Hi,
I wrote on this before but I'm still hung up in my thoughts. Wouldn't you think I would know myself by now? Or rather, I know myself but my mind won't let me be the person I want to be. My mind to quote Shakespeare 'is full of scorpions' and I simply want a break from it all. I must admit however, that I did put in a real effort around two weeks ago and I did see improvements in m mood, physically-i wasn't suffereing from chest pain hyperventilation etc. BUT its was hard... I just find myself giving in to my thoughts because its easier than fighting them so to speak, even though they scare and make me sad so badly. I also fear that these thoughts will affect my work... I am in college as a health care professional and as much as I want to be the best practitioner that I canbe, I fear that I will let someone down and let myself down. People tell me to go see someone but I can't bring myself to do it. What if they tell me something I don't want to hear, something that would lead me to want to never go out in public ever again. I know this sounds so dramatic but the extent of my fear makes me feel this way. I don't know what I am looking for... advice someone to talk to. Maybe both would be nice.
Thanks.

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Originally Posted by anxious girl

hi,
I wrote on this before but i'm still hung up in my thoughts. Wouldn't you think I would know myself by now? Or rather, I know myself but my mind won't let me be the person i want to be. My mind to quote Shakespeare 'is full of scorpions' and I simply want a break from it all. I must admit however, that I did put in a real effort around two weeks ago and i did see improvements in m mood, physically-i wasn't suffereing from chest pain hyperventilation etc. BUT its was hard... i just find myself giving in to my thoughts because its easier than fighting them so to speak, even though they scare and make me sad so badly. I also fear that these thoughts will affect my work... i am in college as a health care professional and as much as I want to be the best practitioner that I can be, I fear that I will let someone down and let myself down. People tell me to go see someone but I can't bring myself to do it. What if they tell me something I dont want to hear, something that would lead me to want to never go out in public ever again. I know this sounds so dramatic but the extent of my fear makes me feel this way. I dont know what I am looking for...advice someone to talk to. Maybe both would be nice.
Thanks.

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Hi, anxious girl!

Just because someone tells you something that you don't want to hear doesn't make it bad. As a matter of fact, that which we really don't want to hear might truly be that which we really need to hear. "The best mirror is a friend's eye."

You're already looking for advice. Advice you will get here.

What exactly is it that you're afraid of, please?

By the way, I'm a long time veteran of having panic attacks.

Thanks!

Under the high stresses you are describing you are seeming to have a very tough time getting relief from it all.

How can you prioritize the stresses?What is the most difficult thing for you right now?School?The need to get a clear picture of what your going through?Sleep? I don't know,you have to being to break things down and see them for what they are.

Health wise there are many reasons you feel down,could be sleep problems,food intake,stress related, too many to guess at,but all of them combined can keep you in this chaos.You only need to start addressing one thing at a time to begin breaking this cycle.

I hope you write back and continue commenting here,we really do understand and want to help!