From Patricia: I dated a guy for 5 months after he pursued me pretty aggressively. At first, things were great. We laughed all the time. We loved being together. He spoke often about the future--not in serious terms but about trips we should take or meeting each other's friends, things like that. I played it a little more cool at first, but when things began to get physical, I admit that I started to like him more and I showed it too. I don't think I too much but enough. Some other details: there was a significant age difference between us as I am 11 yrs older (36 to his 25). He always said the age thing didn't bother him in the slightest, especially since I look/act youthful. Not immature as I own my own business and I'm very responsible, but I have a youthful vibe. Anyway, as I said, things were great... until he went home for the holidays for a month overseas. When he returned, he acted weird and distant. Kept blowing me off at the last minute when we were supposed to see one another, but always with a solid reason and he INSISTED things were fine. I started to get the dreaded uh-oh feeling, but he told me he wanted to be together and things were cool with us. And then, one night, we went out to dinner and he lays it on me halfway through that he is worried if his Visa is not granted he won't be able to stay in the country and for that reason he thinks it is better to stop where we are before getting more involved and hurt down the road. After that, he hits me with the whole Let's Be Friends thing. I did NOT get all weepy or weird. I told him I accepted his decision (though I was upset inside) but that I did not want to be friends since it would be too hard to flip that switch. He said he understood and that if he gets his Visa we can continue to see one another, but until then, he doesn't want to invest and then get hurt. There are more details but that's the gist. All of that went down about a month ago. Now we are in this weird holding pattern until he hears in another month or two. I have been doing LC--not contacting him at all but answering on the two occasions that he has reached out to me in the last month. In the last text from him, he said that even if he gets his visa he may go home for a bit but that he hoped we can "meet up" when I am overseas for work. Okay, so here is my question: Is this guy just messing with my head? How do I know whether he is sincere? The person I met before the break could not have been more sweet and caring, but this new guy is hard to trust. I am usually better at sussing out a bulls**t artist, but I am lost here. And if he is being real, I am willing to wait. What do I do? Thoughts please! Thank you!

Let this go-for whatever reasons,his feelings changed,and you shouldn't be waiting around in limbo for him.

Make a clean break of it and start moving on.

I honestly don't know. I don't think he is playing with your head, but he should have told you sooner when something was wrong. If he was playing with your head I think he would be trying to get more out of you sexually considering you said you two got more physical. Or he would have tried getting you to stay. He may just want to get laid before he goes, but considering he ended it saying "I don't want either of us to get hurt along the road" shows he cares, even if it does hurt. I would honestly look at if he is right for you or not, look at him and see if you could see yourself with him, look at this situation, look at how he has changed, and if you can't see yourself with him, I would end it, you don't want to be with someone if you wouldn't be with that person for the rest of your life (at least I look at it that way) but it depends what kind of girl you are, weather or not you date for fun or if you are serious. But I would talk to him if none of that helps. I hope I helped! Goodluck!

Its seems his head is roughly in the right spot, but at least he said something instead of being closed up

Every thing is always great in the beginning of things but as you get to know someone better and get more facts then it starts to get complicated. % months is barely enough time to know someone, let alone deal with the issues that have come forth.

Change that LC (Little Contact) to NC (No Contact), and let this one go to deal with his issues, while you explore other, better options and opportunities.

You both got on the ride and once the Honeymoon period was over he decided to get off , if I were you I'd get off too.


Leave him alone and focus your energies on yourself , then you will have a far better chance of meeting someone new.

Move on! It's not ever going to be the same even if you do get back together! Sorry