I was divorced a year ago and while we have joint custody I am the parent (the dad) that, be the decree, determines where my son lives, what schools, churches and doctors he goes to. While she is obligated to pay child support that has never happened and she has never paid for anything (medically, school or whatever). My ex wife has difficulty in spending much time with him so her visits have usually only been for a few hours at a time. I believe she suffers from a mental illness (borderline personality disorder) that stems from a child abuse situation she suffered as a child from her mothers boyfriend. I am outlining this to help explain the current situation. I am deeply concerned about what would happen to my son in the event of death and what steps I can legally take to prevent my ex wife from having to deal with raising my son in the event of my absence. Can I offer to pay her when the State of Texas catches up with her on unpaid child support in exhance for the termination of her parental rights? I have given this a great deal of thought, not a punative measure against my exwife but as a means to give me peace of mind on his raising in the event something happens to me.

No, first it would not be legal to "pay her" to sign over her rights, and second, the courts would not even allow her to anyway.

There is little you can do unless you can prove she is unfit.

Thank you, I think I can do that it just will take time and cause a lot of pain that I was hoping to avoid. I guess my approach, no matter how I phrase it, is still form over substance with regards to my thoughts on an offer to help her in meeting her obligations to the state in exhange for the termination of parental rights.

If read the sticky note on the top of this forum, a lot of your questions would have been answered. YOU cannot terminate her rights, nor can she relinquish them. ONLY a court can grant a TPR and courts are VERY reluctant to do so. They will only do so to clear the way for an adoption or if the parent represents a danger to the child.

No it appears that you are going to try to make a case for the latter. This will be very difficult. You will need to engage a Family Law attorney who can help you prepare the paperwork to have your ex examined and a determination made on her fitness. On the other hand, you can remarry and ask your ex to allow your wife to adopt.