Ask Me Help Desk - Keeping the attraction up

Hey I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend now for about 6 months ( we were seeing each other for 4 months prior to that). Anyway I got her to be attracted to me by keeping my interest low, acting like she didn't have me. And because of this, she was the first one to initiate most things ( the actual relationship, the I love you's, which id only recently started saying a couple months after she did) I was just wondering if I should keep that up, being disinterested and all. I know I can't be all about her and I don't want to be, I learned from past mistakes. But recently she's been asking things like if I really care and do I want to be together, to which the answer to both is yes. She wants me at her place all the time which I can't do because I'm busy and because I know she'll get sick of me. She acts very needy. Anyway, I'm just asking for advice to see if I should still keep on acting disinterested after we've been together for a while and if I begin to show more interest, will that lessen the attraction?

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Originally Posted by lost??

hey ive been in a relationship with my girlfriend now for about 6 months ( we were seeing eachother for 4 months prior to that). anyway i got her to be attracted to me by keeping my interest low, acting like she didnt have me. and because of this, she was the first one to initiate most things ( the actual relationship, the i love you's, which id only recently started saying a couple months after she did) i was just wondering if i should keep that up, being disinterested and all. i know i can't be all about her and i dont want to be, i learned from past mistakes. but recently shes been asking things like if i really care and do i want to be together, to which the answer to both is yes. she wants me at her place all the time which i can't do because im busy and because i know she'll get sick of me. she acts very needy. anyway, im just asking for advice to see if i should still keep on acting disinterested after we've been together for a while and if i begin to show more interest, will that lessen the attraction?

Hey I think that you shouldn't keep up that act because in order to attract a girl you act like that and it reels them in but once they know you like them back they wanted to be treated really sweet but don't be too sweet because that's sickening haha I know from personal experience. You need to spark up a fight here and there and stand your ground to show her who's boss or she'll try to walk all over you. Don't come over whenever she wants you to it will make her want you 10 times more. She may at you because of it but trust me it will be better in the end. Good sex and all that jazz. I don't know I thought I would just tell you how I feel because I'm a girl and that's how I am. We're really hard to figure out but its not that hard once you get the hang of it. All right well I don't know let me know if this helped

Lost, As you know I have been on several threads with you and two things stick out from one g/f to another g/f in two weeks and plenty of ups and downs most notable her being drugged. You both got out of 2 year relationships and are working on this one. Wow. You both have issues, but if she is so needy, then you will have to give her more face time while still keeping enough distance so you won't be repeating the mistakes you made before. I don't think you are ready to live with her though, but she will need reassurance as to how you feel about her. I caution you to go very slow with this girl. Keep the communication going but don't push and don't let her drag you where you are not ready to go.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lost??

hey ive been in a relationship with my girlfriend now for about 6 months ( we were seeing eachother for 4 months prior to that). anyway i got her to be attracted to me by keeping my interest low, acting like she didnt have me. and because of this, she was the first one to initiate most things ( the actual relationship, the i love you's, which id only recently started saying a couple months after she did) i was just wondering if i should keep that up, being disinterested and all. i know i can't be all about her and i dont want to be, i learned from past mistakes. but recently shes been asking things like if i really care and do i want to be together, to which the answer to both is yes. she wants me at her place all the time which i can't do because im busy and because i know she'll get sick of me. she acts very needy. anyway, im just asking for advice to see if i should still keep on acting disinterested after we've been together for a while and if i begin to show more interest, will that lessen the attraction?

I don't think you should keep up the act, at all. Be yourself.
Communicate with her, and compromise with it each other, always make mutual decissions, and try to have a realistic relationship.
You both need to understand both needs and desires and talk to each other about them

Be Honest. What you get through disonesty won't last. It's fake.
Do you really want a relationship where you have to play a game.
BE honest.