My husband of 12 years is in love, he says with this girl he went to school with 20 years ago. (They never went out in HS).Left me and my 3 kids. She has 3 kids and is getting a divorce.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yes, occasionally they have regrets, but sometimes not. Who's to say?

It may seem difficult now, but live to make him regret leaving you. Try to be happy and move forward with your kids... leave him in your dust.

Good luck

I am sorry for the betrayal and the devastation this has caused you.

It will be a long and difficult road for you to regain your footing after such a long relationship, and three children together.

My best advise to you is to is to think practically right now. Get a lawyer and make sure that you are aware and prepared for what is to come, as far as assets, support, custody, etc.

He may very well regret what he has done at some point, but you need to take care of yourself in the meanwhile.

There are many here who can sympathize with you, who have been in your shoes, and lived to tell about it. You aren't alone.

Thanks for your help.. I'm just so confused that he can talk about moving in with her and says he loves her within 2 or 3 months.. It just happening so fast and were filing the divorce papers today.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Lets face it that is what it boils down to. The death of a relationship. No point in trying to save it either. Does he regret it? Its hard to say, I know it certainly couldn't have been an easy choice but most men don't do these things on such a spur of the moment time. It is most likley that he has been unsatisfied for a while (even if he said nothing) and she came along at a good time. Or rather a horrible time for you. My guess is she is his way for comfort through this, though it was horrible not to leave you with some type of comfort.

Usually I wouldn't ever suggest this as I have found that a lot of times it seems like men get taken to the cleaners after a devorce and in my opinion that isn't all that fair but in this case I'd say go for blood (figure of speach) and get everything from him that you can. If he doesn't regret this at the moment he will when you're done with him.

My fiancé has told me several times that if I ever devorce her she will completely ruin me. (she wouldn't ever really do that but she likes to make idol threats like that.) In a case like this, a twelve year marriage down the tubes because of a girl he had a crush on in high school? He cheated, he lied, and most of all he treated you like crap in this, take him for all he has. Just my opinion.

Yes he will have regrets, after he starts raising anothers kids, and paying child support for his own.

I think eventually the numbers will catch up to him, and the responsibilities, so while I am very sorry for your loss, you are free to recover, and have a better life yourself.

Take the money, and run, after 12 years, you have a lot coming.

Most of the time when men leave one woman for another, it never works out. Also, keep in mind, that if he left you for her, he’ll l probably leave her for someone else.

The "honeymoon" state of mind that he's in right now with her will eventually turn into a routine. Men have the tendency to get bored once things get to be a routine. If he does end up getting bored, he may try crawling back to you when things do not work out with her. If he does. Hopefully by then you will see clearly what a loser he is and not give him the time of day.

Dust yourself off, keep moving and do not waste your time looking back at where you've been. If it didn't work out the first time, it won't work out the next time either. Keep smiling! It WILL get better.

A therapist I know that works with families and "specializes" in divorce says over 60% of men remarry (diff spouse) within two years of divorce, and that number starts to push 80% within four years...

And if I'm not mistaken, id read somewhere that the number of men that remarry within the first year is around 30%... which seems shockingly high to me, and I wish I had proof of that one way or the other...

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Originally Posted by kp2171

a therapist i know that works with families and "specializes" in divorce says over 60% of men remarry (diff spouse) within two years of divorce, and that number starts to push 80% within four years...

and if im not mistaken, id read somewhere that the number of men that remarry within the first year is around 30%... which seems shockingly high to me, and i wish i had proof of that one way or the other...

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Which beg the question, why do we want to get marry lol.

I think many men do regret their decision to leave. Most of the time when men leave one woman for another, it never works out. Also, keep in mind, that if he left you for her, he’ll l probably leave her for someone else.

The honeymoon state of mind that he may be in with her will eventually turn into a routine. Men have the tendency to get bored once things turn into a routine.

With this being said, if he does end up getting bored, he may try crawling back to you when things don't work out with her. If he does try crawling back to you, hopefully by then you'll not give him the time of day.

Dust yourself off, keep moving forward and don't waste your time looking back at where you have been. If it did not work out the first time, it will not work out the next time.

Keep smiling! It WILL get better.

If he can leave you like that after having 3 kids and starting a family together, I don't think a guy like that is going to regret leaving you. He's an ******* and you deserve better. Don't cry for someone like that because they will only hold you back in life.