Ok guys... so I finally meet someone that I actually like and felt that we had a strong chemistry. Anyway its seem like in the begning she was really into me, and we got along great. We would text each other and talk to each other and have hung about a few times now and always had a good time. Well about two days ago things felt a little weird. She wasn't responding the way she normally does, and seemed to be a little different. She used to always say that we should hang out soon etc... so on Sunday I asked her that we should hang out on Monday and she said that she gets off early and that she would call me to hang out. Well she never called!! I sent her a text around 9 once I figure out that we weren't going to hang out. Her excuse was that she fell asleep after she got home because she was super tired. My question is, has something changed. Why wouldn't she at least let me know that she was tired and that she wasn't going to make it tonight. Should I just back off and let her make the next move if she wants to or should I be the one to pursue?

Hang back for a minute man. She may have just been tired. If something is up it'll come out soon. If she is feeling quilty about something and this is her way to deal with it then she will tell you soon. If nothing is up and she was sleeping she could be stressed. You got to let her tell you what's up and you got to believe her. If she hasn't ever lied to you then she probably won't start. I think you are all right, and I suggest not jumping every time you get a little paranoid. Relax and let her come to you and tell you what's going on.

She could have easily sent you a message letting you know that she was too tired to hang out. That would have been the considerate thing to do. Silence does count as rejection, so pushing her to hang out with you won't make a difference. But who knows? Maybe she really didn't get a chance to.

Either way, I would say that you should back off a bit. You already took the initiative to ask her to hang out. Now the ball is on her side of the court to take you up on your invitation when she's free.

Yeah that's what I was thinking I wish. A simple text would have been something I would have done if I was feeling her... The thing is, is that she usually does send a nice text or something to make sure that she didn't do something intentially. In other words she made it apparent that she was into me. Now she is saying she would call me but never does.


So her not calling me doesn't really mean much? Or is it because she lost interest?

It's hard to know unless you actually ask her - but I guess you don't want to look too eager.

She may have something else going on in her life, and you've slipped to the bottom of her priority pile.

Or, she may have lots interest.

The only way you'll know is if you ask her - it's up to you.

Thanks Gemini I think that I decided that I will just talk to her about it. Instead of specualting I might as well just get it from the source. No games or anything just honest communication! What do you all think??

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Her excuse was that she fell asleep after she got home because she was super tired.

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Take her at her word, and try again later. Given your still fresh from a failed relationship, maybe going slow and keeping a healthy balance in your life and not just focusing on getting with a female at this time would be better. Focusing too much on her, too fast, raises expectations, and is confusing. Relax, step back, and try again later maybe in a few days.

When you ask someone out, be as specific as you can with a time and date, so they can plan.

Good advice Tal and I notice I was getting to concetrated on her as well and needed to bring it back a bit. I have def took a step back and calmed down a little.

UPDATE INfo
She actually contacted me a couple of days ago, and she has been initating the text the last couple of days. I asked her out on Friday and she said she was working, then again on Sunday but she said she had homework. Not sure what my next move is. I mean she seems to give me the opening. Should I just wait for her to contact me and go about my biz? Is she not interested?

She could just be very busy. Let her know you understand she's busy and maybe she can contact you when she's free... in the meantime, don't wait around. Go out and have fun... if she wants to see you she will contact you.

Well she texted me in the Morning, the other day. So we have been texting back and forth now but we still haven't hung out. I stop asking her to hangout and am just taking it slow. When we were around each other she makes it apparent that she is interested, but when we text its very monotone ish. I must admit guys this one is very confusing. Instead of texting should I call her from time to time?

While I agree texting isn't the best form of communication, I still think you should leave the ball in her court. In the meantime go out with friends and just enjoy life. It sounds like she may not know what she wants.

We didn't have texting back in the day (cell phone either) so phone was the way to go, but its not all that unusual for a female to want to get to know someone before she takes a chance on hanging out in person.

That's why rejection should never be taken personally because you never really know the reason behind it, nor can you know what she has been through, or if she is playing a game, or is simply just cautious.

I go with phone calls, over texting though. Just don't go overboard, nor make her a project.

Natural back and forth, while doing your own thing, is a good balance.

I agree. Give her distance. If she really likes you she will contact you. I say give her a call once or twice but don't call her ten times a day and make her think you need her. This is a new thing to both of you and slow is the way to go. I know you're looking for more than friends but maybe friends are what you really need you know? However like I said ,call her and see what happens. You never know unless you try.

Thanks guys.. We have hung out a couple of times all ready... mostly in groups though. Anyway yeah she has been contacting me and I have been doing the same. I think for whatever reason I got a little a head of myself and was doing entirely too much thinking. I will call her in a couple of days. I am OK with just being friends too. She is really cool! I think what happen is I let me friends get into my head and made me try to rush things. Is the reason she step back because I I was coming on to strong?

My advice.:back off and let her do they calling and texting, since you have asked her out its left for her to decide..

Ok guys so I posted a while ago about this girls behavior who I was trying to court, and after that we started to hang out a lot. We were talking every day, she would stay the night on most occasions and we were generally having a good time getting to know each other. Then suddenly about last week or so things started to be different. We had conflicting schedules so we were not able to hang out, its almost going on two weeks. I am fine with not being able to hang out although I do miss her company. The part that is confusing me is that she isn't contacting me as she usually does, there isn't anymore random texts through out the day and it seems as if I am contacting her more then she is contacting me. She does still contact me but not nearly as much as before, I would def say that I am doing most of the contacting. She says that she misses me but something seems different. I told her that I was getting a weird vibe from her and her response was that she doesn't meant to, she has been busy with work and other things that are happening but that she misses me. Am I over reacting here or is there something going on? Should I ease back on conacting her? If she doesn't conact me I usually send her a text about once a day.

How old are you both please.

I can't imagine building a relationship around texting all the time, nor having such a poorly defined relationship so fast. My gosh guy get off that texting thing, and get a life without her, as you are putting way too much into someone that's not that available.

What kind of relationship can you possibly have through texting, and not hanging out making time for each other.

As was said before, back away and enjoy other area of your life, as she is probably doing and don' expect so much from a text buddy who you hang out with sometimes. I doubt there is any agreement to be girl/boy friends, nor even be exclusive, nor should there be. If she can't hang out, find someone who can. Then you won't be tripping over her being too busy (or uninterested) to text, and will have other things to do, and won't get so carried away as you unpack your baggage from other failed relationships,
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...-376078-5.html
And get some healthy balance back into your life.

This post is exactly like your other one which was merged with this one. What does that tell you about yourself? Yep, you're moving to fast, and making an attachment that may not be her feelings at all.

Read my signature very carefully.

Thanks Tal, yeah I all ready let that one go. I backed off and moved on, she has intiated text since then but the "mojo" in the begning has fadded away. Just hard to get back in this dating game after being out of it for so long. Its like I forgotten how to be and or act when I am interested in someone. Its been a while since I have actually had a connection which is why I was confused when she wasn't responding the same way within a week. We talked and kind of decieded we were on different pages. Ahh the trial and tirublations of dating. I am over it. Why can't things flow as they did with my previous girlfriends? Anyway just thoughts running through my head, its good to get them out. Thanks for listening.

There isn't really a shoe that fits all sizes. Every time you meet a new person. There isn't a technique or an approach that will work on every person. Everyone is different. Different approaches work on different people.

The key is the meet more people. Make new friends. The more you interact with others, the more confidence you gain. Confidence in yourself is the shoe that fits all sizes.

Once you're comfortable with yourself. Then you can be yourself around people. So when someone is attracted to you, then you know that they are actually attracted to you because you were being yourself.