I met a guy through a friend and some months later he and I met up and slept together. For a few months we had the late night booty call going on. Then, the last three months we hang out at each others' places, cook for each other about once a week and of course sleep together. He has met a few of my friends and I have hiked with his best girl friend. We are going on a diving holiday in three weeks with a bunch of my friends for a week. When I have asked him (okay only the once!) he said he thought of us as friends with benefits? Is there more? Do you think there could be more?

Short answer, no.

You've asked him and he said he saw you as FWB, unless something has changed... which it seems it hasn't... well I'm going to guess there is no change.

Sorry.

Anything is possible, but there are no guarantees.

One thing is sure, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Are you prepared for a heartbreak?

The only relationship foundation he is interested in, is the mattress.

Experts will tell you that sleeping with someone enough will make you chemically fall in love with them. This is why women are bad when it comes to sleeping around. They can't do it without falling for the person they sleep with. (its scientific) once or twice isn't that big a deal but when its all the time you start feeling things for the other person and you start relying on him to be there to make you feel good.
He doesn't have this issue, men are not like that. Men are not naturally manogomis (spelling?) creatures and thus we are created without having to have attachments. Sorry to say this buy men are naturally dogs. However doesn't mean we can't be trained.
You might what to see what he says when you cut off the gravy train. Stop the sex and just hang with him. Tell him what you want out of this and try it that way. Booty calls never last all that long. Either it will turn into a relationship or it will end. Soon. Best thing you can do at this point to keep this person in your life for a lot longer is to take action in making it last.

Sounds like you've got the friend and he's got all the benefits! Why would he want to change the current situation - as my grandmother would say, he's got the cow and he's milking it too (or, something like that).

If you want more than sex and friendship then call him on it. I think that after 3 months, you're entitled to ask what his real intentions are.

Perhaps after the diving holiday?

I guess though, you got to be prepared to be disappointed.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Larken85

experts will tell you that sleeping with someone enough will make you chemically fall in love with them. This is why women are bad when it comes to sleepin around. They can't do it without falling for the person they sleep with. (its scientific) once or twice isn't that big a deal but when its all the time you start feeling things for the other person and you start relying on him to be there to make you feel good.
He doesn't have this issue, men are not like that. As a matter of fact men are not naturally manogomis (spelling?) creatures and thus we are created without having to have attachments. Sorry to say this buy men are naturally dogs. However doesn't mean we can't be trained.
You might what to see what he says when you cut off the gravy train. Stop the sex and just hang with him. Tell him what you want out of this and try it that way. Booty calls never last all that long. Either it will turn into a relationship or it will end. soon. best thing you can do at this point to keep this person in your life for a lot longer is to take action in making it last.

---

Dude, you are on a slippery slope here. Let us know if YOUR girl buys that "manogomis" (monogamous) crap.

Booty calls CAN turn into a relationship. And they can backfire too. No one knows how this will turn out. Just enjoy yourself.

Hey - thanks everyone for the input - all of what you have written goes along with all the same thoughts that I have been having - I was just hoping I might have got it wrong. He has the cake and is eating it too! Gemini54 - I also thought after the dive trip would be best - so I guess that is what I will do... bummer... the sex is so good too! Isn't that always the way?

Might be a good time sky, to think about what you want in a relationship, and where your needs and wants are. While the sex may be good, that doesn't indicate much about his character.

I can tell you that nothing beats a loving relationship with mutual respect for each other. Good communication (verbally lol), is a must to build a foundation. You may find with the right person, that it is who they are, that in turn, makes for good sex.

There is a lot more to a satisfying relationship than a romp in the hay. I may be old fashioned, but, I hope that you set your standards a little higher, and expect more from a man that you are attracted to. You may surprise yourself by putting the sex on the back burner to simmer, while you boil up a good solid friendship first.

All the best.

To Larken, thanks for the P.M. telling me once again that men are dogs, and not to give you a reddie or disagree with you.

My point is, read the rules of the forum. People are entitled to an opinion, but if you are going to state facts, then please back it up.

I have no interest in sparring with your comments, and ask that you do not PM me again.

The only way to find out is stop having sex with him and see if he can get to like you for you.
Go on a normal date with him.. talk to him more. On a personal level. Tell him you want to know more about him..

You gave him the mindset of FWB, now try to reset it. Show him you can be more than that.

See if he does more by stop having sex, and being so available whenever he is horny.

I suspect you're not his only option.

By definition a booty call isn't a relationship, and more than likely will not turn into one. Relationships that start with bootycalls, are based on physical attraction, and sex... nothing else. If you wanted a relationship with him, why in the world would you sleep with him so soon? You've made your bed with this man, lie in it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Larken85

experts will tell you that sleeping with someone enough will make you chemically fall in love with them. This is why women are bad when it comes to sleepin around. They can't do it without falling for the person they sleep with. (its scientific) once or twice isn't that big a deal but when its all the time you start feeling things for the other person and you start relying on him to be there to make you feel good.
He doesn't have this issue, men are not like that. As a matter of fact men are not naturally manogomis (spelling?) creatures and thus we are created without having to have attachments. Sorry to say this buy men are naturally dogs. However doesn't mean we can't be trained.
You might what to see what he says when you cut off the gravy train. Stop the sex and just hang with him. Tell him what you want out of this and try it that way. Booty calls never last all that long. Either it will turn into a relationship or it will end. soon. best thing you can do at this point to keep this person in your life for a lot longer is to take action in making it last.

---

This is an old post. Like sorry people didn't agree with it but its about time to get over it. Or just take the post out. Thanks for the support KP. Maybe now people will stop dissagreeing with me now but a doubt it. Sorry its just annoying. But again thanks for the back up KP

Larken, this is the part of you post that I had a problem with.

Quote:

---

They can't do it without falling for the person they sleep with.

---

That's not factually correct. I'm proof. I can and have had sex with people that I haven't fallen for. Your claim wasn't that some women fall in love with people they're sleeping with, you said all "They can't do it without falling for the person they sleep with."

I gave you a reddie because that's not factually correct. There may be some women that fall into the category you stated, they may even be the majority, but they don't represent the whole and I took offense to you claiming that no women can have sex without falling in love with the man.

I get reddies too, usually for opinion based posts (which is against the rules) but still, I get them. If you're going to PM someone every time you get a reddie, just to tell them you're mad that they did, you're going to have a problem.

People are going to disagree with you, that's a fact, happens to all of us.

In other words, I think you should take your own advice,

Quote:

---

its about time to get over it.

---

You do give good advice the majority of the time. Just stick to that and don't let it get to you if people don't agree.

Enjoy AMHD. :)

Problem is the post is old. Honestly I don't need forty people telling me I am wrong at forty different times and especially not after the post is no longer even really a factor. And that is fine if you haven't ever fell in love with a man you slept with just because you slept with him, however the statement meant someone you sleep with a lot. You gain an emotional connection to. KP is a human sexuality expert and he can personally back it up, actually he does back it up if you read that section on the posts. But I merely want people to stop giving me the stupid red marks on that particular post, its getting annoying. It has been said enough and I get the freaking point.

Relax Larken, Reddies, and disagreements as annoying as they are, shouldn't be taken personally. Its just an opinion, and everyone has them, and this is a forum for opinions. Relax.

The thing is if you have to ask, then no. I think you want there to be something there where there is not. If it is a relationship that you want I advise you to find someone who wants you for more than just "benefits"

Use, and be used (for sex), may be a relationship, but not a very healthy one for either partners.

You're right Tal, sorry I got worked up. I'll get over it