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-   -   I'm scared my boyfriend is only with me for the sex.. what do I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=45590)

  • Nov 29, 2006, 12:25 PM
    shadyslady313
    Im scared my boyfriend is only with me for the sex.. wut do I do?
    Well I'm just turned17yrs old and I'm dating this guy for almost two months and we have done it already.. but sometimesi feel that that's all he wants.. idk if I'm giving in to easily to him and that's why he always wants it.. idk.. but the thing is I enjoy having sex a lot probley just as much as he does but sometimes he just makes me wonder.. what do I do and how do I find out?
  • Nov 29, 2006, 12:32 PM
    mr.yet
    Don't have sex with him when he wants it. Watch his reaction to that. If he truly cares he should understand, if not you will have to decide about your future with him.
  • Nov 29, 2006, 12:53 PM
    valinors_sorrow
    I disagree with the other suggestion since your sudden refusal could be taken many ways and I am not one for deliberately testing someone, its gamey to me. Ask him. If you are close enough to be having sex with each other, then you should also be able to talk candidly about such things. It doesn't have to be made out as a big hairy question, just an honest concern. Be prepared to explain clearly how you get this feeling. Pick a time when you aren't gearing up with each other though, as that isn't the best time to bring it up. Communication is a big part of successful relationships so no time like the present to begin practicing those skills!
  • Nov 29, 2006, 06:25 PM
    wizzkid89
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow
    I disagree with the other suggestion since your sudden refusal could be taken many ways and I am not one for deliberately testing someone, its gamey to me. Ask him. If you are close enough to be having sex with each other, then you should also be able to talk candidly about such things. It doesn't have to be made out as a big hairy question, just an honest concern. Be prepared to explain clearly how you get this feeling. Pick a time when you aren't gearing up with each other though, as that isn't the best time to bring it up. Communication is a big part of successful relationships so no time like the present to begin practicing those skills!

    This is the likely best solution, like val said, if you are as close as you bring on than it wouldn't be out of the question to assume you could talk about sex. Just remember that he is a 17 year old guy, and if you like and are offering for him to have sex, OF COURSE HE IS GOING TO GO FOR IT. I admit it, as a fellow man I can see that we are dogs. However it's not like he is sleeping around on you, or you haven't been together long, he is just trying to meet his sexual desires. You should tell him, that while although you like having sex with him, and you want to continue, just not on the rapid pace you were on. Suggest to him that you do more hobbies and spend your quality time doing something other than sex. Just make sure to make it clear to him that you aren't cutting it out completely, or else he might freak out. ;)
  • Nov 29, 2006, 06:52 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    How old is this guy, what else do you do besides having sex, do you actually go out, date , do other things.
  • Nov 30, 2006, 01:38 AM
    Krs
    Ok so you have been with the guy for 2 months, so I assume you talk and are getting to know no one another, why not just talk to him about it? That way you will get an honest answer if not an answer at least a reaction ;)

    As Wizzkid said - your boyfriend is 17 he has raging hormones right now, and you already offered him sex so just remember once you initially offered it to him he is not to say decrease the amount of sex, if you get my point!

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