I have been married for 31 yrs... the last 10 have been pure hell... my husband has been diagnosed with chronic pain in his cerbical vertebrae.. and has been on every toxic.. pain pill and patch known... he's had every test... procedure and consultation. For the last 10 yrs my youngest child (my son) has been a loose cannon. He started slow... maybe drinking beer and now is smoking pills.. of some sort. The last few weeks.. he's been coming home in a hightened state... talking a1000 miles a minute... ranting and raving and waving his arms... crying laughing... making no sense... (but he;'s not on anything.. and he is hurt that we would all say that)... because of his drug friends and that world... I have had my home invaded... personal things stolen and pawned... lies... etc... property vandalized.. my own mother robbed... (his grandmother)... and now he is looking at jail time for cashing a bad check which he forged his name on... my husband is very passive.. and gives our money... his phone... car... and overrides what I think is best for our son... my question is... if I get no backing and am treated like I am invisible in all this... where do I stand? I have left my home for now... just to distance myself from all the pain... I will seek out help for myself to learn how to deal with what goes on around me.

I am sorry to hear you are in such a predicament. Possibly you have done the right thing and distanced yourself for the time being. Your son, yes, does sound out of control but you don't say how old he is, which has no bearing on anything really, just curious. Your son needs some kind of intervention and you must be the one to get him back on track, doesn't sound like your husband can do it. I know of people who have chronic back conditions and really, nothing can be done for them so I guess he will have to stay on morphine but a second opinion of his condition will not hurt at all.

As for your son, I would talk to his school counsellor to see what avenues you can take to get him rehabilitated to the point where he can become a decent human being again.

Tick

Let the son go to jail. It will definitely change his attitude on a lot of things. He has all the earmarks of using meth or taking speed pills. Talking 1,000 miles a minute is definitely speed. He could apparently claim he was not on anything and dad would believe him. A normal person does not behave that way unless they were high on something.

You were right in leaving this circus as it is only going to get worse.

Interventions don't work with most people as they are in denial and unless they've hit rock bottom, they won't change as their lifestyle is too enticing to them to change. And dad keeps fueling his habit, so I really don't expect him to change on his own.

Your son is on speed.Your husband is an enabler.Get away from them and live your life.

My heart aches for you.your son could also have metal conditions:like bi-polar mania.will he accept dual diagnoses help?I can only imagine how lonely you must feel.if,your husband and son refuse to get help,it's sad.there is help for you to cope with these issues.you'd be amazed by how many people are in your shoes.please,check out self-help &support groups,near your area. I think that you need this time away to be able to make clearminded decisions.you can even call your towns domestic violence center and ask for help,referrals,etc. I am praying for you and your family.I wish that I could help you.your letter broke my heart.get help,please.for yourself. Take care of yourself.you matter.you are important.