I have been with the same guy for 20yrs and I know it gets old, I have tried to spice thing up but lately it's been bad. He's gone 1week and home 1.He is all over the usa, while I'm stuck home with the kids and house. When he come home he dosen't have the drive he use to, sometime he doesn't even get dressed. I know he stressed and I try to suport him but its hard to do and it makes me feel like a failer to the relationship. He like sex before he goes to sleep but that's always @ like 3 0r 4am. I get up at 7:00am, I'm so tired all the time who wants to be woken up to have sex and then do all the work. I have tried to get him ready for bed @ a time I'm not tried but he always said in a minut and that turns into hrs. I try iin the day time but he sleeps all day and then it's (I'm waking up).. the kids are in school and we can be as nasty and loud as we like but to no aveil. I'm not saying I'm not part of the problam but I do try.. Any advice will be welcome.

Sounds like his sex drive is at odds. He is getting older and probably going trough changes. How old is he, is it possible he is in his mid life crisis? Is he away on business or just away? And he still wants you, just on his own time. He has to change his sex style to fit your schedule and in my opinion sex is important. It is horrible to be rejected, believe me I know. Find some way to connect to him but if you answer my questions I might better be able to answer yours.

Why is he not helping with the work when he's home?

Next time he wakes you up for sex, let him know that you have to get up in the morning, and you're too tired--just like he is other times of the day.

THEN--have a discussion about it when you're both awake. You need to talk about this, or the resentment will fester and your relationship will suffer. Let him know you are unhappy with the way things are and would like to talk about how to make things work better for the both of you.

Why don't you go out for dinner on your own and just talk about it? He sounds tired, stressed and depressed and his job may well be getting to him.

You've been together 20 years, you should be able to talk. Let him know how you feel, without blaming.

Talk, together, about how you might deal with it. Sometimes in relationships sex has to go onto the back burner for a while - you just got to be patient.