I dated this guy for 8 weeks 4 - 6 times per week. I fell for him, but, I guess the red flags were there and I didn't want to see them. He tried to get intimate with me in the beginning, but, said we "had to slow things down" as he rushed into his prior relationship and didn't want that to happen again. So I was trying to be patient with him as he was showing me all the other signs of attentiveness, always holding my hand, cuddling up to me, etc. He always called me and seemed like he was excited to see me, never let me spend a dime always paid for everything from a candy bar to a night out. He let me into his life of friends, signed me up with him in art classes, etc. but now... his ex girlfriend of 3 years had found out about me and called him and came down to see him (she owns property in our community as well as he does, but she doesn't live here) Well, now he called me to say they've gone back together and are trying it again and that he was so very sorry. What I can't quite get is that she is way far beyond him in career, status, a millionaire which his income doesn't come close to, she's controlling and embarrases him, but, somehow he does seem like he was still in love with her. They had been broken up for 4 months when we met. Well, bottom line is I'm so very sad as I felt like he could have been "the one" as I got to know him on a level I never knew anyone else, before the lust and intimacy. I got to see how compatible he could have been for me and I believe he felt that too. We had similar beliefs, upbringing, values, etc. Anyone have help with this one?

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you were his rebound. 4 months of recovering is not a long time for a 3 year relationship.

Furthermore, now that you told us that he's gone back with his ex, it seems pretty clear that he never got over her in the first place, which definitely makes you the rebound.

I know it's easier said than done, but it's best for you to move on with your life and keep him in the past. On the bright side, you had a great few months and now you have a better idea of what type of guy you like for the future.

Talaniman Rule- Never get involved with someone who has just been dumped.

They will never have the same feelings as you do, because they are still hurting. Now your hurting.

Hey, you have it easy, my boyfriend is 'bout ready to leave me for my best friend, which I might add likes someone else.

My advice, chat with him. My guy seems like "The one" too. Tell him that you feel this way. (talaniman told ME to ditch my guy :0)

Guys can be total butt-heads. Please remember: True love conquers all (Even spoiled rich girls)

My condolences on your sadness and disappointment - but, too much too soon combined with a rebound - it was always going to be gamble.

Sounds as if he was simply filling a gap - you know how it is, some people don't like to be alone when they've just broken up in a relationship!

Which doesn't mean that he didn't like you - but it does mean he wasn't 'the one'. Try and be realistic - 8 weeks ain't much to time to get to know a person - and although you felt a strong connection in that short time - clearly you know very little about him and he clearly had unfinished business with his ex.

Talaniman is absolutely right - your BF was trying to ease his pain by being with you and now you're the one that's hurt.

We always see better with 20/20 hindsight - but it's a great lesson.

Chalk it up to experience. At least it was only 8 weeks, not 8 months!

Agree with Gemini and Talaniman. It hurts I know, but it was far too easy for him to fall back with his old girlfriend and that means that he was so not over her. And thus had greater feelings for her than for you. He couldn't not have been "The One" if there even is such a thing. You will find your one, some day, and like they said now you know what you're looking for. And honestly Gemini was completely right in the fact that thank god it was only 8 weeks, not 8 months. You'll be all right and you'll see that things will get better and better everyday. Go find yourself a nice guy that hasn't dated in a bit and you know, date around a little bit. Just make the right pick and find your own personal happiness. :) I wish you luck

He was never really over the relationship or through the breakup. It isn't much more complicated than that.

Its why he went back in a breath despite the problems... its why you don't have a chance in this relationship and should NOT be a part of it if he decides to come back to you...

Call him the likeable guy who was never really free.

I just don't see a guy who is willing to go back to that behavior a guy who will be worth anything to anyone anytime soon. When that relationship frays again, he needs to be with NOBODY for a good time. And then some.

Consider him unavailable. He is married to chaos and indecision right now.