Ask Me Help Desk - Can he get Primary custody

My Ex-spouse is wanting primary custody after 2 years of joint custody because he believes that I am an unfit mother because my son mentioned some disturbing things at school probably due to some video games he had access at his friend's house. I asked the teachers if my son continuously had this behavior and was told that it was not. Still my Ex-spouse truly and firmly believes that I am an unfit mother. My ex-spouse had an affair and left me for his mistress. I have been a stay at home mother until the divorce. Since I have been working full time 8 to 5. I have been in a stable relationship for 2 years. I have been taking care of my children alone the first 2 years of the separation/Divorce. My ex-spouse moved into NC last May and since then we have been having 50/50 custody. I have been been involved in my children school, day care and activities. I am the one who registered my son to basketball and soccer (which I am the assistant coach). I have informed my ex-spouse of all things related to the children at all times. I have taken my children to doctor appointment and took off work when needed. I have plenty of character witnesses that would confirm that I am a fit mother. My ex-spouse has been threatening me of taking the children away from me and has been trying to control my actions and the way I raise my children during my parenting time. His behavior is causing me stress and is creating issues with my partner. My partner cannot have a normal relationship with my children by fear of my ex-spouse accusing him of molestation and other horrible things. My partner and I are always looking over our shoulder and cannot have a normal life in our own household because fear of what my ex-spouse would think or do. I am afraid to lose my children. I have been the most constant thing in their life. Especially my daughter. My ex-spouse was having the affair while I was 7 months pregnant with my daughter, therefore he had not been involved much in her life for the first 2 years of her life. I want to keep joint custody because I believe that this is for the best interest of the children and I believe that they do need their dad in their life as much than I do. The issue is that he wants them full custody and I want to keep it joint custody. I love my children and I have been their primary care giver when married and then for an extra 1 1/2 after separation. Like I said we did agreed to a 50/50 custody (week/week) but he wants primary custody now. What are my chances to keep the custody the way it is (50/50)?

Im a bit confused. Did he move to another state? How old are the child / children?

Is the current 50/50 relationship court ordered ?

If no, he has to even go to court to get that, you can cut off the 50/50 anytime you want if it is not court ordred.

Is there a child support order in place, and if so, is he current. Just because he has child more now does not matter unless he went to court and had the order modified.

He has a good chance of getting 50/50 but can be ordered not to interfere with your time.

Unless he can prove some serious issues at home ( video games are not that) I see little chance of him getting custody

And to be honest he most likely is not going to court, he is merely using the threats to try and control you.

So if you don't have a 50/50 in court now, I woluld get an attorney now and decide how you want to proceed

Quote:

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Im a bit confused. Did he move to another state? How old are the child / children?

We were in NJ and when I found out he was having an affair I stayed an extra years to fight for my family ( I was 7 months pregnant with my daughter) Our children are now 5 and 2 years old. I moved back to NC about a year after finding out that he was cheating when I finally came to the conclusion that he was not to stop seeing her. In addition, he finally told me that he wanted to be with her and not me.( my kids were 3 years old and 7 months old then). I moved to NC where I had friends and church support and found a house and a job and raise my children all alone for 1 1/2 years while he was promoting his career and flourishing his relationship with his mistress in NJ. He agreed to let me go to NC. See! This is where the issue is? I was a fit mother for him when it was convenient for him but now that he is back to NC and is getting re-married, now all of a sudden I am an unfit mother? How dare he taking my children from me and wanting to change the current agreement of 50/50 custody?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Is the current 50/50 relationship court ordered ?

If no, he has to even go to court to get that, you can cut off the 50/50 anytime you want if it is not court ordred.

Is there a child support order in place, and if so, is he current. just because he has child more now does not matter unless he went to court and had the order modified.

He has a good chance of getting 50/50 but can be ordered not to interfere with your time.

unless he can prove some serious issues at home ( video games are not that) I see little chance of him getting custody

And to be honest he most likely is not going to court, he is merley using the threats to try and control you.

So if you don't have a 50/50 in court now, I woluld get an attorney now and decide how you want to procede

The 50/50 custody arrangement was decided by Him and I in a divorce agreement. See, everything was OK with the way it was until he found out that I was dating. (this was the first time that he threatened me of taking them away from me) Now that he realized that it is a serious relationship( been with my boyfriend 2 years now). I believe that the real issue is that he is annoyed that he cannot control what is going on in my house hold. He is annoyed that I do things in a different way that he does at his house.