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-   -   Control sexual urge (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=45507)

  • Nov 29, 2006, 02:35 AM
    closefriend29
    Control sexual urge
    Am a guy. Am married.

    I am high in passion, but my wife is often tired so no sex. This lead to numerous fights.
    I met a married lady, was instantly attracted to her. We both fell in love with each other.
    She has a happy marriage, good sex life too. But for her I am her soulmate.

    For me too initially I was attracted sexually but I know now she's my soulmate.

    I have stopped requesting sex to my wife - unless my wife asks for it.

    The lady I love is far away. We can't have sex, or show our emotions. We have decided to stay married as her hubby is nice guy and she has kids. I too have a kid.
    We will be the best of soulmates for each other.

    I abstain sex with my wife unless she asks for it. My wife rarely asks for sex. But my sexual urge, passion is too high. How do I control it.

    Bcos I love the lady - I have stopped mastrubation too, as I want to do all things only for the lady I love. I want to lie only for her.

    Tell me how to control my urge and passion.
  • Nov 29, 2006, 02:38 AM
    Krs
    I think you seriously need to have a proper chat with your wife. Emotionally you are already cheating on your wife, very uncalled for.
    COMMUNICATION is the key.

    Have u asked why your wife why she is not into having sex?
  • Nov 29, 2006, 03:04 AM
    closefriend29
    Thanks, krs.

    I are in this marriage only for the kid. We don't see eye to eye in anything.

    Am just 32, wife is 30.
  • Nov 29, 2006, 03:05 AM
    Krs
    Im sorry to hear this :(

    Have you tried marriage counseling? Maybe you need to re-kindle your live like the good old days.
    Have you tried talking with your wife about your differences?

    Does she feel the same way you do?
  • Nov 29, 2006, 03:20 AM
    closefriend29
    Now I actually hate her.

    She has killed all my passion... one day at a time. In 3and half years of marriage we must have had sex twice a week initially. Now - ha ha - hadn't had for months. And she knows how desperate I am for sex - I can do it even 2-3 tims a day.

    I don't to a prostitue just for the lady I love. She is the one who has kept me married - saying the right thing is to do your duty as a father
  • Nov 29, 2006, 03:26 AM
    Krs
    Yes you absolutely need to do your duty as a father, but you also need to consider your happiness and also your wife's happiness.

    Have you talked to your wife? To be honest I don't think you have.

    Most men always have a higher sex driver then women, my husband could have sex every day and I'm different, 1 week I could have it every day then come a week and I just do without.
    Compromise, and communication.

    YOUR WIFE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW U FEEL...

    Maybe there is a hidden reason as to why she doesn't want sex, who knows if you don't ask her!! :cool:
  • Nov 29, 2006, 03:36 AM
    closefriend29
    She knows it all. I told her how much I need it.

    Just for her, I stopped with her as she didn't want it - even promised - I will do it only when she wants it.

    Every night I used to mastru / wank in bed - she doesn't even know it :(

    I like oral, she doesn't.

    Our act is mechanical - just a few minutes - 2-3 minutes

    I am so upset trying to control my urge -that I feel like cutting my thing off - so that -there is no penis, no urge!
  • Nov 29, 2006, 03:38 AM
    Krs
    How long has this been going on?
  • Nov 29, 2006, 03:44 AM
    closefriend29
    3 months after marriage. Krs, I just am tired of life. I can't make love to the woman I love, the woman whom I leave with makes my life a nightmare.

    Only on the hope of my love - I am living. I am actually living only for her - she is the epitome of pure love and compassion and ideals. Her love makes me do my duties of a father as she considers my son as her own.
  • Nov 29, 2006, 03:56 AM
    Krs
    I believe you should your wife know how you feel. Come to some agreement you can't carry on living like this.
    Its not fair on you and neither on her.
  • Sep 12, 2012, 05:26 AM
    shanker5
    Go for the sex with the second and love with the first
  • Sep 12, 2012, 06:07 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by shanker5 View Post
    go for the sex with the second and love with the first


    This is from 2006 - once again, a one-time-wonder gets a user name, posts once, disappears.

    Go figure.
  • Sep 12, 2012, 09:55 AM
    Enigma1999
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    This is from 2006 - once again, a one-time-wonder gets a user name, posts once, disappears.

    Go figure.

    Not to mention, who in their right mind advises someone to engage in cheating?. oh wait... this guy!

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