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-   -   Two bestfriends, one boy. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=454555)

  • Mar 5, 2010, 12:20 AM
    Refined
    Two bestfriends, one boy.
    Boy and girl love each other..

    But what is the girl supposed to do when the boy she loves is the boy that her best friend still has feelings for.
    Is she supposed to..
    a) do something about it, for her best friend
    b) do nothing about it, because she loves him.

    I love him, but I love her as well she's been my best friend for 8 years.
    What am I supposed to do if being with him is hurting her?
    Which ever decision I choose, I will hurt someone..

    I don't want to lose either of them. And he is not just some boy.. I KNOW deep inside. That I want to have a future with him.
    How can I explain this to her?

    Especially when they both shared something before..
    It hurts her just to see us talk..


    Any opinions/advice appreciated. Please keep them positive :)
  • Mar 5, 2010, 12:31 AM
    Larken85

    Hmm, have to say your friend should try and understand. How long ago was their split up? How long were they together?

    Have to say if it was not long ago then you have to wait to be with him. Its what friends do.

    However if it was a couple months ago I say go for it and hope your friend accepts this.

    If they were together for a really long time (like 1+ yrs) He is off limits. If less than not.

    Love is love and if they will have you choose you must choose the person you think will make the best mate for the longest. (Mate means either mate or friend.)

    How Old are the people involved? And how badly does it hurt the friend to see on a scale of 1 to 10?
  • Mar 5, 2010, 01:38 AM
    Gemini54
    My sense is - if she still has feelings for him (and it hurts her to see you talk) - he's probably off limits. You need to respect her sensitivities.

    You know she's your best GF and has been for 8 years, but you only assume he's the one you want to have a future with because at this point you can't be with him.

    Yea, it's hard, but friendships are sacrosanct. Particularly good friendships.

    Let her get over him; if your feelings for him are still strong in the future, then you can make a decision.
  • Mar 5, 2010, 08:13 AM
    Devorameira

    In my opinion there should be an unwritten law out there somewhere that prohibits dating a friends ex. It's just not a good idea!

    Boyfriends will come and go, but best friends are very few and far between. Respect her and dump him.

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