Her BEST friend interfere the relationship
Hi
Recently I decided to end my 'single life' and live with someone that I thought my soulmate. I've been in few relationship, but this is my first time in my life I felt as I've found THE ONE. I'm 28 and I think it's about time to settle down with someone that I can count on. I'm working abroad and had met her on the internet. We're rivals 2 years ago and never appear in my mind that she's the person that I want to spend my life with.
she Google for me and found me in fb and we became friends and fall for each other.Everything was running smooth, I came back from oversea and met her.I'm really happy until I bump her best friend.I discovered something that is unacceptable to myself. I've been forcing myself to accept it but my logical thinking rejects it.I don't want to be self-centered but I really wish to have a family of my own.I'm financially and mentally ready, life planning wise, I have prepare everything in place earlier.I have a good future ahead and would love to share it with her.
recently I left my job and change to a moderate job in my country, as I wanted to be close to her and be next to her when she's in blue.Then came her best friend called X.In the middle of nowhere, she told my so called soulmate that our relationship will only last till march. X had sent me a weird message stating that she'd always heard my name but she never interested to get to know me. I was surprised as in the middle of nowhere, I got a message from X. The attack started to kick in. When I came to her house, X started to send weird sms to my soulmate.She threaten to leave the house and how down she was and that my soulmate is extremely important to her. Even when I say hi to her in a nice manner, she totally ignored me and pretend that I don't exist. I tried to steal her heart few times (organize bbq with my soulmate friends, cook my specialities etc), she totally ignored me.
I started to feel exhausted with her best friend attitude as I'm way younger than both of them.My soulmate love to keep silent and buying time and let things floating rather than 'real discussion'.I found out something really weird, her best friend had a boyfriend but I believe that she had crush on my soulmate.they've been together for 7 years, living together. So, I asked about her from my soulmate and to my surprise, the friendship is really weird and illogical.
My soulmate were protecting her all this while to the extend that she loan quite a huge amount to take care of her best friend.They sleep in one bed and at times, they sleep naked. They had few intimate (sex) for the past years but according to my soulmate, they were just best friend. I myself had few best friend and I had purposely draw a line for my best friend not to interfere in my relationship. I take my time to explain to my best friends on how important 'space' is to individuals.
I left everything for this relationship and expect to have a secure yet peaceful relationship in return.Everything was nicely placed (house, car, finance, life planning, career) but I'm caught in this situation. My soulmate told me that she'd promised to take good care of her best friend for the rest of her life.I could not take it but to end up with a smile and my heart shattered into pieces. Her best friend started to choreograph some sad drama and I find that my soulmate stuck between me and her.
I am fed up and try to move on. I called for break up as I don't take that as friendship as both are possessive to one another. I told her that her soulmate is her best friend and that they belong to each other. I'm not allowed to use their belongings i.e. watch TV, use their glasses just to get some drinks, sleep on their bed, sat on their sofa etc as her best friend said it is belong to THEM. I never come across such rudeness in my life especially there's visitor coming in to my house. I am not comfortable with this situation as her best friend started to demand higher priority. Somehow I really believe family comes first, then only the rest, my soulmate were keeping things hanging and don't have any solution. When I asked for break up, she asked be to stay put and be patience.
I never regret the things that I've done for her as I believe there's always good things/lesson behind it. It's like I'm building a family but we can't live together. Her best friend might kill herself should she move out from that house. I told them that the relationship that they had is not best friend but more or less couple. My soulmate keep on pushing me to believe that it was only best friend. She begged me not to leave her but she can't draw the line to her best friend. I felt unimportant and used. I tried to change myself but it was against my logical thinking that her best friend can freely interfere our relationship.
Now, I'm cornered with situation. I truly love her but I can't deal with her best friend. I started to hold a grudge and lose myself almost completely. I'm a cheerful person and had lost my smile since day one I came back from oversea. Feeling like a zombie hoping to have a good family life. My patience running very low. I call for break up as I sense that her best friend is extremely important to her and that if she lose my soulmate, her heart will fall into pieces.
I've learn about her background, but to be honest I lead a more sad and hanky panky life if compared to her. But that what makes me stronger as I don't perform self pity and keep on seeking consultation from peers and reading. I truly love her but I can't negotiate my love life. I truly wish I can have a family.
I am reviewing myself, as it might ME that's lacking in. I don't know which part that I have not done enough to save this relationship. I try to see which part of me that need to change to save this relationship. Perhaps I'm blindly in love. I don't know what I should do. Already tried to be cupid for both of them but my soulmate were extremely mad when I try to did that. Can someone share some opinion or comments. I value criticism, perhaps there are things I should change but I fail to see it.
thank you in advance