My boyfriends ex won't stop trying to contact him, Im not sure how to deal with this
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. He is a few years younger than me and I have kids. His ex girlfriend is a few years younger than him and thus pretty much still a teenager. We live in a small town and everyone is connected in many ways making situations more complicated. A couple months after we got together I had broken up with him during a fight. He went to her house and slept with her. We ended up working things out. I still consider it somewhat of an infidelity as our issues were so fresh and unresolved but I chalk it up to him being younger and more inexperienced than I. he promises that he loves me and wants to be with me and it was a mistake. She continues even 8 months later to send messages to his email, Facebook and phone saying she loves him and berrating me. She gets her friends to do this as well... she even hacked into his accounts and put herself as an alternate contact. She posts old pictures of her and him on her Facebook with love messages. She also lives across the street! Many of our friends are also with her. Now we stay fairly secluded to avoid any drama. Near christmas he texted with her for a period, but he says it was innocent. He says she is crazy. I think the fault lays with both of them. He hasn't shut that door... he says sending her "stop" messages won't help but encourage.
Sometimes I am so obsessed by this its all I can think about. We are always driving by each other... she says in her messages that he stares at her... I have never been insecure, I know I am a good woman, pretty, smart and loyal and I have opportunity knocking all the time ( by men who would appear much more promising) but I don't engage.( have been married and I am not a judgemental or material person. I would much rather have love and be poor than have everything and be miserable. Ive been there. However our relationship is risky on any level just because he is younger but he swears he wants the responsibility and commitment. I can't seem to pull myself from him, but I can't trust him either which will destroy us anyway. So why am I still here? Is it the challenge? Is it love? Is it loyalty? Can we work to repair that trust? Am I being naïve in believing that he made some faux pas' in the name of nostalgia and anger while learning what commitment truly is? Can I ever trust him again?I would love some objective opinions please