How can I deal with a jealous, emotionally abusive mother of my partner?
I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and I thought things with his mother were getting a lot better. I am 17, almost 18 and he is the same age and yet his mother still, somehow, has complete control over him. When I first started seeing her son she hated me from the moment she met me, there was no rational reason to hate me, she just did. Her hate was intense she banned him from seeing me based on a meeting of 2 minutes where I perfectly polite and charming, I had done no wrong. Now I can understand that she may have thought I would be distraction to her son seeing as he is an elite swimmer with the olympics in his sights, but I was accepting of this dream and was so proud of him for having such amazing aspirations. Her hate was unjustified however. She banned him from seeing me, speaking to me on the phone, talking to me via internet or even getting other people to relay messages to me. It confused me so much because I still don't understand how she had such control over him. I mean if my mother ever tried to do something like that I would just laugh. The rest of his family have no problem with me, his dad likes me and his little brother adores me. Up until about 6 months into the relationship this continued and it damaged me to the point I would cry myself to sleep every night and I was breaking out in tears randomly at school. My principal even asked me to see a counsellor because she thought I might had depression. It just hurt me so much that I cared so much about this boy and yet I couldn't do anything to help the situation. I had tried to talking to her, that didn't work. I tried to get him to talk to her, that didn't work. I even tried to get my mother to talk to her, and she took that as me 'attacking' her. Slowly she seemed to realise I wasn't going anywhere and I guess I wasn't as big of a threat as she thought I was and eventually she began to warm up to. I thought things were going well up until now, I mean she had even asked me to go shopping with her to help pick out clothes because she liked my style and has asked me for help for various other reasons. I was getting excited because I thought soon I would be accepted, but tonight everything went downhill and I don't even know why. My boyfriend and his mother had an giant fight about his life goals and stuff as such and somehow I was brought into the conversation and was consequently banned from ever going to his house AGAIN (although she also banned any of his friends from going). I just don't know how to deal with her anymore. Not only does she emotionally hurt me, she hurts her own son. He has told me he thinks he needs to see a psychiatrist or get help from a professional because he needs to break away from his mother but he doesn't know how to on his own. She is totally irrational and goes beserk at the slightest thing. Is there anything at all I can do to at least calm the situation?
Am I justified in being angry?
Threads merge
Okay, I want to know am I justified in being angry if my boyfriend never calls me anymore now that he has an Xbox? And when I call him he can never talk for longer than 30 seconds because he is in the middle of a game of Halo? Am I entitled to be angry when he bails on me when he says he is going to do something with me because he is playing Halo? And am I right in being angry with him for never having a conversation that does not start with "Today when I was playing lone wolves" or "Today when I was on social slayer"?
I get so frustrated with him because I never get a sensible word out of him about anything other than Halo and it seems he would rather glue himself to the xbox than spend any time at all with me. We have been dating for a year and this is seriously making me re-assess him. He tells me I am being stupid and that it's only a game. Isn't that the point though? It's just a game? I am a real, tangible human, one he says he is in love with. Shouldn't I demand a little more attention that a silly video game?