Three weeks ago I started an incredible relationship with a man (the perfect man?) but I started the relationship without full disclosure. After three weeks and several dates and guilty feelings, I made the disclosure via text, because I'm a coward. I ended the disclosure telling him I wouldn't contact him again but he knew how to find me. A few days later he did find me. He said "that's 'messedup' why didn't you tell me from the start?" I bawled and sat on my pitty pot and sent long explanation texts about how sorry I was and how devastated I was that I was a coward --- wah wah wah. I finally called him to ask if I would ever have a second chance. Turns out that mostly he is hurt that I didn't tell him from the start and trust him to make a decision. I told him I didn't have any other secrets and he laughed. About half an hour after the call I texted him asked "would help if I keep telling you i am sorry and miss you and i could occasionally mix it up and say i miss you and I'm sorry. I could send flowers, or better yet a jug of brew" from a local microbrewery that we visited twice. He laughed. So I have decided to win him back with lightheartedness - which he has told me was one of my charms. I am going to send him one text each day. Instead of "I'm sorry and I miss you" or "let me send you flowers" I would like some other thoughts.

So my question is: What lighthearted groveling do you suggest? A few facts that we have laughed about: I am 46 and he is 59. I have two male cats who are very needy for attention and we have to lock them out of the room for privacy. I have no TV and he likes to watch "two and a half men" and "NCIS". I've used a silver fox joke. We both enjoy drinking quality beer.

Remember, I am looking for quips, "appologies", groveling, etc...

PHONE CALLS (especially if you can leave it on his ans machine or voice mail): Don't identify yourself. Leave a short, kicky weather report in a TV weathercaster voice or enthusiastically sing part or a verse of a camp song or kiddy song or hymn or commercial tune (especially one that might mean something to him).

Don't grovel. Look for the funny part of things. As appropriate, do a kitty forehead bump or two with him (that's how cats greet their humans and each other), think like a little kid and have fun with the things you and he talk about and do together.

It's hard to tell someone how to be silly and have fun with a close friend. I'm a dour German, total seriousness. A fun-loving Irishman took me on six years ago and has taught me the rudiments of how to relax and enjoy life. It's hard to tell someone how to be this way. You have to do it, live it, and learn from a master. I'm just the student. Maybe play off the humor this boyfriend brings to your relationship? If he was attracted to you for your lightheartedness, you must already have that quality in you. Just be yourself.

I wouldn't do this honestly, maybe a few times, but after that I would just CALL HIM AND ASK HIM ON A DATE!
If you continue to text him daily, with just short sayings or whatever you want to call it, could become a huge red flag! Like crazy, needy,girl. Just my opinion!

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Originally Posted by dynocompe

I wouldnt do this honestly, maybe a few times, but after that I would just CALL HIM AND ASK HIM ON A DATE!
If you continue to text him daily, with just short sayings or whatever you want to call it, could become a huge red flag! Like crazy, needy,girl. Just my opinion!

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Someday when you're as old as they are (and as I am), you will understand what she is asking.

I completely understand what she is asking, and what she is trying to do!
BUt the guy is either interested or he is not. This is not hollywood movies, a person should not need to be WON over.
Regardless of how old you are

By the way, I wasn't disagreeing withyou, you were trying to help her out with the way she suggested. I was just disagreeing with that way of trying to win him over! And as I stated, JUST my opinion

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Originally Posted by dynocompe

I completely understand what she is asking, and what she is trying to do!
BUt the guy is either interested or he is not. This is not hollywood movies, a person should not need to be WON over.
Regardless of how old you are

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He has already been won over. He misses her lightheartedness and her spontaneity. Yes, sometimes at this age, it's Hollywood movie time. Think The Bishop's Wife or When Harry Met Sally.

(Being lighthearted and spontaneous isn't really "Hollywood movies," by the way. It's actually not allowing yourself to be dragged down in self-pity.)

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QUOTE by loserific;
So I have decided to win him back with lightheartedness - which he has told me was one of my charms. I am going to send him one text each day. Instead of "I'm sorry and I miss you" or "let me send you flowers" I would like some other thoughts.

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Doesn't sound like she has him won over just yet to me, since her mission is to win him over. To me when a person says they have decided to win him back, it means they don't have them. Silly me?

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Originally Posted by dynocompe

Doesnt sound like she has him won over just yet to me, since her mission is to win him over. To me when a person says they have decided to win him back, it means they dont have them. Silly me?

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She hasn't lost him. She said, "I ended the disclosure telling him I wouldn't contact him again but he knew how to find me... a few days later he did find me... I told him I didn't have any other secrets and he laughed... [I told him] I could send flowers, or better yet a jug of brew" from a local microbrewery that we visited twice. he laughed."

She just wants to lock him in after her faux pas.

Wow, this thread has gotten well away from "lighthearted." like I said I'm looking for Quips or silly things to say. I have no intention of going phycho on him. Maybe I misspoke saying "one text a day" Just looking for some lightheartedness.

One thing I thought of last night:
"did the Mariachis show up outside your window last night? I hope so, but I only had a twenty on me when I hired them so I'm not sure they took me seriously."

After only 3 weeks, I can't see as you were supposed to make a full disclosure about anything. But since you have, and he has decided to "give you another chance" I would follow up with flowers, and a cup of his favorite beer, (thats what he wants), and then come with your thoughts,
One thing I thought of last night:
"did the Mariachis show up outside your window last night? I hope so, but I only had a twenty on me when I hired them so I'm not sure they took me seriously."

That would work for me. If it doesn't, send him a bill for time wasted.