Hello

I guess I'm writing this out of desperation. My girlfriend, who I've happily been with for 7 months, met me today personally asking for a break, claiming she needs space.

I am so confused, and It's the reason I'm writing here. She's the most perfect girl I could have met. We never (and I mean never) had any fights, got along perfectly, loved each other dearly, met almost everyday. When we weren't spending our days together, she would miss me to death (her words). I was very optimistic for this relationship since everything seemed perfect.

I'm not new with relationships. Dated some girls in the past, know that you can't be too clingy (most of the times, she was the one asking me to go out), always let her do whatever she wants and we really trusted each other. We got jealous from time to time, but nothing serious, I guess the occasional jealousy isn't prejudicial. I don't know what to say, it was just perfect. She was the best girl I ever met, the best thing that happened in my life.

And then this happened. Like that. Bang. Before she left, she said she loves me, and even gave me a kiss before leaving. I guess she has some problems in her life that she needs to solve, that's all. However, that doesn't make it any easier to swallow.

I know what to do. All the no contact stuff. I guess I'm just writing this to blow off some steam and hear some advice or whatever... All I want is her to get back, so I can hug her, kiss her, make love to her, fall asleep together, wake up in the morning cuddling and fooling around. Now all I can do is cry and think about her all the time, although I know I really should focus on my own life. I am completely broken.

Sorry for the long speech. And I'm 20, in case you ask.

Didn't you already post this question? Hmm


Anyway.. Its so tough when you love someone and want to be with someone so much and then they turn around and say.. (Yeahh Not So Much Sorry)

The most important thing here.
Is to first feel pain feel hurt its OK to be upset about this,
You sadly can't control how you feel about all of this
But your actions you can control

So yes you can be feeling hurt
But you have to go no contact with her and try and move on the less you hear from her the less pics you see of her
The less pain you will feel

It really is a case of Out of sight out of mind
It takes time! But then.. what doesn't in this life.

She said she wants space respect that why love someone that does not love you back?

The one thing that really hurts us is pride. Our pride gets broken when people reject us.

One of the main thing in most of us humans is social acceptance

Oh and the most perfect girl.. turst me that's a fraze that will always pop up in your relationships
No one is perfect

Don't put your partner so high up on a alter that you can reach her.
Remember same ground same level :)

I've been there before as have most of us on this site
And the one thing that has helped me is to go no contact
And not blame myself

All the best

The first thing you need to do is respect her wishes and give her space. You said she has some problems to deal with, let her be for now. Begging and pleading with her isn't going to help the situation, it will only push her away. When, and when she is ready to talk let her come to you. Work on you, you will get more respect from her. Maintain the NC for now, give her the space she wants. Sure it hurts when the breakup comes out of nowhere. Sometimes when your going through something you aren't able to deal with you push the people you love away. Give her some time to cool down..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

didnt you already post this question? Hmm

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Yup, but got banned because of my innapropriate nickname. It's solved now.

One thing that I forgot, and that made me really confused. She said she feels that she has to miss me in order to be with me, so she decided to have a break in order to do that. I can understand that, being together in a daily basis things get pretty much routine but... most of the times she was the one that wanted to meet me. I swear, I think I'll never understand women (no offense to the women in here).

However, she told me she doesn't love anyone else but me, and I believe her, and willing to put my hands on the fire for her word. I really trust her, as I knew her long before we started dating.

Sorry about your break-up. It sounds like you really care a lot for her. This isn’t an easy one to answer. You say you were happy one day and broken up the next. Is it possible that you were the only one who was happy? Think back, were there any signs that your girl was less than ecstatic in your relationship? Be honest. Were there clues that you either chose to ignore or that you can only see in when you look back?

There could be several reasons why an otherwise good thing suddenly ends. Here’s just some maybe’s:

Maybe she was unable to deal with her feelings.

Maybe she’s running away from a good thing rather than wait around for it to turn sour. If you think that may be the problem, don’t give chase because this will only fuel her fight or flight instinct. Instead kick back and be patient.

Maybe she’s dealing with her own personal crisis/issues that have little or nothing to do with you. If this is the case the only thing you can do is relax and wait it out.

Maybe she just doesn’t feel for you the way you thought she did. Insensitivity/selfishness aside it is possible that you were so caught up in your own joy of being in love that you failed to see your feelings were not being returned. It happens and it doesn’t make you a bad or naïve person. No big deal. Basically, this is just one of those cruel ironies of life that happens to everyone. Suck it up and let things go. It is the only way.

I know it's hard, but the only thing you can do right now is go full NC.

As you have pointed out, you know what to do, so just do it. You also know the effects of shock and disappointment takes a while to adjust to and overcome. It will though, and the brain will over ride the emotions soon.

For now though you have to accept her change of mind, and feelings, for you.

We all now that while things seemed perfect and good to us, she obviously didn't agree. But we only see things from our side of things, and what they tell us, which we always believe, whether its true or not.

Obviously she chose not to share all her feelings with you, so how could you know anything about them, except what she was telling you.

You will get beyond this as it happens all the time with break ups and no matter how experienced you may be, it still sucks.