Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Dating (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=374)
-   -   In love with 2 people (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=452051)

  • Feb 26, 2010, 03:31 PM
    andy15701
    In love with 2 people
    I'm going nuts - I'll try to make this short. I was with someone 4 3 yrs (paul)and I loved with all my heart and we shared everything - we did everything together hell we even worked together - till it closed down we were bf's we broke up do to his drinking (he has been good for 2 yrs now) - when we split I started dating some1(larry) and we have been dating on and off 4 2 yrs I keep going bk to paul but then larry pulls me back in maybe do to the money I don't know and what he can do or is willing to do for me.. I know I'm not as happy as I was with paul but I just can't get away from larry. Paul has waited for me for 2 yrs now and would do anything for me and I want to be with him but also want to be with larry. Larry is building a house and would like me to move in I don't really want to but my kids do well some of them do. That is another problem my kids like both my family likes both. Sometimes when I'm with larry all I can think about is paul - no paul and I r not sleeping together and he would not even think about it till I am done totally with larry. I have broke up with larry many times just to be with paul but I can't keep doing this and larry said one more time will be the last. He knows about the reasons I broke up with him was because of the other1. Larry is a sweet guy but isn't good looking at all which I think is another reason why I keep going bk to the other. I was marry 4 19 yrs to a drunk and stayed because of the kids I think that is why I'm so scared to go bk with paul and I am holding onto larry because he's safe. I don't know can someone out there help me out - I'm in love with 1 guys and with other. Paul and I have talked and he said that when I do leave larry we are going to have to hide us dating again because of both families his because all the hurt I put him though and my so they don't get mad because I left a good guy for a drunk again. Any clue what I should do - should I just stay with larry and never look bk
  • Feb 26, 2010, 06:15 PM
    scentedcandles

    Sounds like you're not in love with 2 guys, sounds like you're just in love with Paul, with Larry as your safety net. All I can say is... If in doubt... get out...
    Best of luck with what you decide xxx
  • Feb 26, 2010, 08:54 PM
    jaime90

    If you are interested in two people and in doubt about who you love, you don't love either of them. I suggest laying the idea of both of them to rest. You do not understand what true love is- it is respect, willingness to die for someone, and commitment, a choice, not romantic feelings... questioning any of these things is not true love. I suggest that you spend some time being single to clear your head.
  • Feb 26, 2010, 09:31 PM
    Gemini54
    What you're experiencing is not love, but FEAR.

    Fear that if your leave Larry for Paul you'll be disappointed. Fear that if your leave Paul for Larry he won't be good enough.

    You are unable to commit, so when you're with one the other one looks good, when you're with the other the other looks good - and so it goes.

    Poor guys... what did they ever do to deserve you?

    I don't know which one you should choose, because it's not about them, it's about you. You don't love either of them enough to be able to make a choice. There is too much fear involved.

    Perhaps some time alone might make things clearer.
  • Feb 26, 2010, 09:41 PM
    Hot water

    Just like Paul McCartney says: "Let it be".

    Don't jump into anything just yet, be patient and the one you want/need will be the clear choice before long.
  • Feb 27, 2010, 11:44 AM
    talaniman

    When your confused, leave them both alone and figure out what you want without them influencing you. That's the only way to go to get from between two guys you let pull you back and forth.

    Do this, or stay confused. You need some alone time to make a decision based on facts and not just feelings.

    What you're in is hardly love, more like dependence.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:32 AM.