I am widowed for 5 years. Grown up sons - married with kids - expected me to be nany on demand and rejected possibility that I also NEED to have my private life again. When I remarried for WONDERFUL man they stopped talking and contacting me.I am the one that traitor in family doing what I want without letting them to interfere and manage my life. I was SO ALONE, not fitting in their wife's lives... always being burden...
I am sad they don't accept my decision- end yet- I would not give up my wonderful husband- darling.
Am I wrong?

You said it exactly, you still have your own life to lead. Mend bridges when you feel you have your needs met and don't worry about other opinions. You have put in your time,now its your turn.

Tick

They will come around in time, its always hard seeing your Mother with a new man. Just be strong. Maybe write them a hand written letter in the mail, stating how much you love them and there families, and there father and how much you do miss him. Explain how you feel, how lonely you were, how you wanted a life too. Tell them how they mean the world to you, how you know it can be a hard thing to accept, but you hope in time they will accept it. Tell them you want to be happy too.
Then maybe a month later, try contacting them for a family supper or something.
My parents split up, my mother wasn't widowed, but it was her fault that my parents split up. So since she left my dad I never thought she should have another man. Her first boyfriend, none of my three brothers or me accepted. He ended up going away, her next boyfriend, my one brother accepted within a couple month, and I took about 7 months where I would go to functions he was attending. Its still gradual now. So its something that will take time, and if he is a good man, they will accept him eventually I hope.
Good luck

Try writing them a letter telling them everything you are thinking and feeling.

Sometimes we allow our emotions to overcome our sensibilities and become blinded. When it is written down, sometimes it is easier to see, and really hear what the other is trying to say.

Just as they will always be your sons, you will always be their mother. When that figure changes something so drastically in their lives it can take time to adjust. Not only are you betraying their father in their eyes, you have also just became a sexual being, both are hard for any child to deal with at any age.

Let them know that you love them and that you will always be there for them, but that you needed to lead your own life too.

Best of Luck.

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Originally Posted by seminole-millie

I am widowed for 5 years. Grown up sons - married with kids - expected me to be nany on demand and rejected possibility that I also NEED to have my private life again. When I remarried for WONDERFUL man they stopped talking and contacting me.I am the one that traitor in family doing what I want without letting them to interfere and manage my life. I was SO ALONE, not fitting in their wife's lives ...always being burden ...
I am sad they don't accept my decision- end yet- I would not give up my wonderful husband- darling.
Am I wrong?

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They need to be happy for you and wish you well but adult kids are all still about self these days, you enjoy and go on... if they really love someone other then themselves. ENJOY your life:D poo poo on them, for not being happy for you.:)

Good for you. I hope you and your new husband and you are very happy. As for your children, they'll come around. I'll bet you
Have been a great mom.

Enjoy your life and don't let anyone spoil it for you. You go girl!

Blessings:):)

I remarried and my four grown children ( one who is Mom of my only grandson ) resent my husband and the fact that I moved an hour away. I think my daughter expected me to be her built in babysitter and is so angry she forbids me to post pictures of him on my Facebook page. She stopped sending pictures a month after he was born. She works full time - baby goes to daycare - and I work weekends/nights so this limits my time. I thought I was a good Mom - stayed home to raise them - provide them with college educations - give them a good start and now they all wipe their feet on me. My son refused to come to our wedding. HIS son refused to come. This wears me out and makes me so sad. Family is everything to me but I discovered this was not a Normal Rockwell painting -- a "blended" family as I'd hoped... but has only caused pettiness/bitterness/backstabbing/jealousy/distance. Was it worth it? Sometimes when I turn around with nobody to talk to - no grandson to play with - family an hour away - step children ignoring me... it just wears me out. Not what I'd hoped for and no clue how to fix it.