My nephew has come to live with me. His dad has made life for him a living hell. He is a clean kid as far a drugs go and dose not drink he is 17. He well be 18 in July of this year. But there is a hitch he got punched by a boy on the bus and went to jail. He did not hit the boy back. But we are in Georgia and it's a no flat state. So he got probation for 12 month's. Offense was Disrupting Public schools. The thing is he could not take it at home anymore. I have a stable home we go to church and live like parents should live.
He also has a 6 mo old baby. The mother of the baby dose not take care of the baby her mother has him. He just got paperwork Stating he had a court date for child support. I found him a job. We are sending away for his birth Cart, S.S.C and getting him a checking account, as will as a state ID card. His Dad well not help with any of this and it makes it hard. He must tell his probation officer he has moved but because he is still a minor we need to have his Dad sign and say its OK. But he Dad is mad at the world and is taking it out on his son. My Nephew feels like he can't dig out of the hell his Dad is putting him throw. Please help me help him! We just don't know what to do.

You need to talk to the probation officer about the problems the boy is facing with his father and perhaps they can overlook the signature requirement, or arrange for the boy to become emancipated so he can live with you.

He must honor the court date and then honor whatever the child support ruling is. The money should be paid directly by his employer out of his check so it is always reliably paid. Child support is based not only on the needs of the child, but also as a percentage of the paying parent's income. They will not, for example, take all of his money.

To help him I would set some house rules. If it were me, these would be my rules:

- Must work part time and go to school full time, no excuses. If he needs to work full time to support his child, he should be going to school part time at night.
- Must visit his child regularly if it is permitted.
- Cannot quit a job or behave in a way that results in getting fired unless he has another job lined up and committed to begin immediately.
- Must save some money. If he is responsible, this can go in his own account. If he is not, he should pay you the day he gets paid and you can put the money in the bank for him. When he's ready to move out, you return control over the money to him (and truly give it all back - he's been let down enough by other people).
- Must follow house rules including: make bed daily and pick up after himself (dishes in the dishwasher, throwing out trash, doing his own laundry); must help weekly with general cleaning of the house; must help as needed and available with other chores such as cleaning gutters, etc. He should just do his share - not be the house servant. He should not be paid for these things but if he goes above and beyond, perhaps give him a bit of cash if you can afford to do so.
- Must join the family for dinner at the appointed time, at the table, unless he is working, in class or with his child. Of course, if he's going on a date that would be an exception but I would not make regular exceptions for hanging out with friends or let him watch in front of the TV or whatever.
- He must participate in counseling to work through the problems he's had to date in his life so he can be successful in his own life, and become a better father than his father was to him. Talk with his parole officer about what is available - probably something free for a young dad like him.

You are wonderful to bring him into your home but be sure that there is structure to protect the way your family lives, and to give him a sense of structure and family and responsibility so he doesn't feel like a slacker. If he's dropped out of school, he needs to go back for a GED or go back to school.

Be sure to build him up for the things he does right, and talk to him about his great potential and his gifts as a person. Perhaps you can help him determine a long-term career path that he could begin to pursue.

Best wishes to you!