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-   -   How can I get my 17 yr daughter to want to do better in school] (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=450934)

  • Feb 23, 2010, 08:07 PM
    dolly1225
    How can I get my 17 yr daughter to want to do better in school]
    My 17 yr old daughter is a jr in high school and she is usually a good student. This year has been very hard for acedemically and she is struggling in some classes.she has gotten tutoring and in the past has asked how she can make up any missing assignments. She is failing two classes and she acts like she does not care, but yet she'll say she is worried about failing the whole year. How can I help her? Oh and her counselor is not any help to us or any other student. Many complaints on her.
  • Feb 23, 2010, 08:14 PM
    Alty

    Sounds like she really wants to do better but is so frustrated that she doesn't know how.

    Is the material too hard for her? Is the tutoring helping?

    It sounds like she's giving up because the bad grades are getting her down. It's not that hard to give up if you're already failing and can't see a way to turn it around.

    Do you encourage her or do you nag at her? I'm not trying to be mean, but there is a difference between supporting someone and just yelling at them to get their act together.

    How you act with her can have a huge effect on how she goes about changing things.

    Support her. Sit down and talk to her, ask what you can do to help. As her if the material is just too hard for her, if she thinks that another year in the same grade may help, or summer school. Let her talk to you and express how she feels.
  • Feb 23, 2010, 08:17 PM
    Wondergirl

    I'm guessing she cannot get a different guidance counselor, because you would have done that by now.

    Instead of looking on the dark side and concentrating on what's wrong, give her frequent and specific positive feedback -- "I'm so pleased you got all your homework done before bedtime last night" and "I like how you show all your work on these math problems" and "That blouse really complements the sweetness of your face."

    Are the teachers able to help her in any way?
  • Feb 23, 2010, 08:18 PM
    Kitkat22
    Maybe there is something going on at school she isn't telling you.
    Children don't always tell Mom or Dad if they think we're over protective.

    Most parents are a little over protective. Hope everything gets better.

    You need to talk with the guidance counselor.
  • Feb 28, 2010, 09:53 PM
    EmoPrincess

    Sit down and talk everyday. She will be MAD but it's neccassary. Check her homework. Offer her YOUR help when you can. Talking goes a long way with us kids
  • Mar 3, 2010, 09:08 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx View Post
    Sit down and talk everyday. She will be MAD but it's neccassary. Check her homework. Offer her YOUR help when you can. Talking goes a long way with us kids

    She may not listen. Never hurts to try.
  • Mar 10, 2010, 05:11 PM
    EmoPrincess

    She may not listen, but if you keep trying, show compassion, she'll break.

    My mum and dad used to try to punish me by taking away my phone, laptop, etc. My mum is now trying the calm helpful approach. I'm going to tutoring every Thursday now, though I don't need it, and I'm willing to sit at the kitchen table to work on homework.
  • Mar 10, 2010, 05:17 PM
    suziq3

    She needs a planner to write down all her assignments. You can check it everyday until she shows she can do it on her own. The biggest reason for low grades is missing assignments. Help her stay on top of big projects. If she does bad on any assignment or test she needs to ask if she can redo them. Also she can ask for extra credit work. Mostly all she needs to do is show the teacher she cares and that will improve her grade.
  • Mar 10, 2010, 05:40 PM
    EmoPrincess

    Also, have the teachers sign the planner!
    This may embarrass, upset, aggravated, she may even "hate" you. But this needs done. I get bad grades from "MAs" (missing assignment)
  • Mar 10, 2010, 06:02 PM
    Kitkat22

    If none of the advice works I would set up a conference with her teachers. You need to be sure there is nothing going on at school. Good Luck
  • Mar 10, 2010, 06:19 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx View Post
    Also, have the teachers sign the planner!
    This may embarrass, upset, aggravated, she may even "hate" you. But this needs done. I get bad grades from "MAs" (missing assignment)

    Mommas know whats's best! EMOP where have you been?
  • Mar 10, 2010, 06:20 PM
    EmoPrincess
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    Mommas know whats's best! EMOP where have you been?

    Grounded for bad grades

    So I know what I'm taking about here! Haha
  • Mar 10, 2010, 06:24 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx View Post
    grounded for bad grades

    So I know what I'm taking about here! haha



    You know what? Experience is the best teacher and I must say you have given this nice mom some great advice. You are doing better and you'll catch up on those bad grades. LOL
  • Mar 10, 2010, 06:26 PM
    buffyfan

    Does she like music? Maybe you should ask her to study a bit more,but also,let her CHILL for awhile. Get it? Kids LOVE to hang out,so if she could chill out and not be so stressed,maybe she'd do better. :D

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