I met this guy two months ago. He calls me everyday, but he has cancelled our plans two times. In fact, we've seen each other just two times. Why does he keep calling? Does he like me?

If he's calling then it's probably because he likes you. Otherwise why bother? You've only seen each other twice, he has no other reason to call but to get to know you better.

We live an hour away, he just sold his car, so it is always up to me to say: I will go to your city this Saturday.. would you like to meet? He has cancelled two times at the very last moment.

Well, why don't you just ask him if he has an interest in you? Then you can stop wondering, right?

He's probably interested in you, but why put all your eggs in one basket? Get out and date other guys... ones that live locally and who own a car and have the money to take you on real dates!

Ask. Then you have your answer and can stop speculating.

So much uncertainty. Why don't you clear things up and go find some answers? Talk to him.

I think that asking "Do you like me?" it is not a good idea. I will probably just move on; it is just too much work...

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Originally Posted by portland101

I think that asking "Do you like me?" it is not a good idea. I will probably just move on; it is just too much work...

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A simple and more open question would be: "How do you feel about me?

How old are you?

If you're going to give up that easily, doesn't seem like you're that interested in the first place. You probably made the right choice by giving up then.

I would add that him bailing out on plans two times is a big red flag and seems like something you don't find appropriate.

If he is like this when trying to woo you (so on his good behavior), just imagine how bad he would be if you were dating!

Welcome to SGS. SGS stands for Stupid Guy (or Gal) Syndrome. It's where people actively create relationship limbo because they don't really know what they want.

Even worse, it's terribly common, normal and is the number one saboteur of relationships that don't even exist yet.

I saw a friend engaging in SGS and this is what I told him:

I told him that relationship limbo sucks and that it's only fair to her if he makes up his mind, and now the two are very happily married.

Guys, unfortunately, typically get all the blame for SGS, but that's really not fair. They only get the blame because they are expected to make all the initiation (even in today's progressive universe). Women are just as bad at creating, encouraging or otherwise nurturing relationship limbo.

In fact, you are as well. He may or may not actually be interested in dating you, but a good deal of that may be insecurity over who you'll respond... and no response is better than a negative response (at least he'll have his phone buddy). But, you've made it clear that you're willing to tolerate SGS without giving him enough highly visible road signs.

What do I recommend? Tell him that you really enjoy talking with him on the phone. Lay it on the line. Then tell him that you'd really like more than just a phone friendship. Then, at least, you'll probably get to in-person SGS. At that point, if you're into him, lay it on the line again. "I really enjoy hanging out with you... but I can't help feeling like we're more than just friends. How about this, if you really want me, surprise me the next time we go out."

Yeah, it requires laying yourself on the line. That's why he's not doing it. That's the myopic advantage of SGS. The only way out of it is by recognizing that SGS sucks. He recognizes it sucks, you recognize it sucks. Let me repeat: SGS sucks!

Either that or find his best friend with good sense to say, "Come one man, what are you doing?! Be a man and ask her out, or at least make clear that you're 'just friends'... for your sake and hers."

RED FLAG

When two people talk every day for two months, and can't get it together, you must not be talking about anything at all.

Stay phone buddies, and yak away, because people who are interested in doing more than talking, make plans, not small talk.

It's been 2 months and you've only seen him 2 times? That's not normal for a couple in a young relationship. It's a new relationship - you two should be dying to see each other. Something's just not right when he's cancelled out 50% if the time. I wouldn't be counting on having a real relationship with him. Don't waste your time and gasoline on him!

Yes, I agree SGS sucks! Thank you all for your answers