As I have gotten older I find an increasing sensation of low-grade anxiety. I'm only aware of it when I'm in a rest or relaxing state. I know that sounds odd, but when I sit and relax or lay down, I feel like an anxiety bubble inside me starts to swell and until it finds release in a head tick or spasm or slow muscle movement in my jaw and chin. The last time I mentioned it to my psych/pharmacologist 8 years ago, I got a silent stare that said hypochondria so I never spoke of it again. Is this a normal aging manifestation of muscle degeneration? There is sometimes emotional pain when I concentrate on relaxing into the "bubble" and the movement in my face and chin causes salivation. My fear is that it is something left over from my addiction years. I remember a recovery friend speak about a built in panic state. My final concern is that it will never let me rest completely. I have experienced panic attacks in the past, but nothing severe in over 20 years.

I'd bring it up the doctor again. I think anything that affects your ability to rest is important to address with your doctor.

Maybe your trying to relax with nothing to think about so you 'feel' what is going on inside. Your awareness is heightened in relaxation. Try using meditation to relax, use a simple relaxation and meditation program, there are many books on this. They tell you how to relax giving you something gentle to think on while you do it.

Here is one I like using -

Meta Meditation

Use this simple meditation often to create and nurture compassion in your life. This can be practiced in just a few minutes, so try to incorporate it as a part of your daily life. Come into a comfortable seated position on the floor or in a chair. Sit with the back flat, crown of the head lifted, shoulders relaxed and chest open. Rest the hands in the lap or on the knees. Close the eyes, deepen the breath and release any thoughts from the mind. Gently repeat the following softly out loud or in your mind.

May my life be filled with ease.
May my body be healthy and strong.
May I be happy and peaceful of heart.
May I be safe from inner and outer harm.

Then you may replace the “I”s with “you”s, thinking of a specific person, a group of people or the whole planet. Finish with a few slow, deep breaths, feeling compassion, love and kindness flowing through your body. Take a moment or two before moving on with the rest of your day.




Meditation for Inner Strength


1. Sit down comfortably on a chair with your spine erect.

2. Put your hands on your knees and close your eyes.

3. In your mind go from head to toes and relax any tense muscle.

4. Breathe slowly and deeply six times.

5. Visualize a huge golden sun of limitless inner strength shinning over you, and sending its powerful rays into your body and mind.

6. Feel the warm and pleasant rays entering your body and filling it with power and strength. Feel the rays entering your mind and soul, charging them with huge inner power.

7. Go on visualizing this scene as realistically as possible for three minutes. Do not be concerned about overcharging. Believe that there is no limit to the amount of strength that can fill you.

8. After about three minutes stop visualizing the sun and its rays, and concentrate for another three minutes on the powerful energy that is now within you.

9. After three minutes stop thinking about the energy and open your eyes. Continue sitting for another one minute before getting up.