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-   -   To forgive or not forgive.. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=450223)

  • Feb 22, 2010, 11:32 AM
    Luna2701
    To forgive or not forgive..
    How can you forgive a cheater?. how can you forgive someone who says they love you and then goes and cheats on you with their ex.. he says he loves me and doesn't know why he did it.. I don't understand.. im so hurt.. I don't know what to do.. wat if he does it again?. I don't think my heart can take it..
  • Feb 22, 2010, 11:36 AM
    justcurious55

    Forgiving him doesn't mean you have to take him back. You can forgive him and still move on with your life, without him in it if you choose. I wouldn't be trusting him if I were in your shoes either.
  • Feb 22, 2010, 11:38 AM
    kctiger

    Is there any way you could offer up some more details on your relationship? Age? Longevity? Circumstances and such?
  • Feb 22, 2010, 11:41 AM
    amicon

    Yes some more details would help.
    In my opinion,cheating is a dealbreaker.
  • Feb 22, 2010, 11:46 AM
    Luna2701

    It's a long story.. but ill try and sum it up has best I can.. ok here goes.. we were best friends before and we fell in love and he was going out wit 1 of my friends.. I know this was wrong and I wish it wouldn't have been that way.. anyways they broke up and we began to go out.. we were good for about 2 months and I found out he was still talking to her and still seeing her.. I don't know if to forgiv him and stay wit him or leave and leave out of my life because I love him I really do and it hurts..
  • Feb 22, 2010, 11:47 AM
    I wish

    Sounds like he's not over his ex and you were his rebound.

    Is that what you want? To be his rebound?
  • Feb 22, 2010, 11:49 AM
    kctiger

    It hurts to be cheated on, it hurts to have your friend dating your ex boyfriend and it hurts to keep this guy in your life. You sound young, very young. I don't see a benefit in keeping this guy in your life. Move on, find a new pool to fish from and try not to overwhelm yourself with emotions, especially after only dating a guy for two months. He used both you and your friend. I hope you both can see that and you both can have the courage to leave him on his butt.

    In my honest opinion he was never yours to begin with. From the sounds of it, that is a good thing, in my opinion.
  • Feb 22, 2010, 11:50 AM
    Luna2701

    No that's not what I want.. :(...
  • Feb 22, 2010, 11:54 AM
    Luna2701
    I want to leave I really do he is my 1st love and I just feel like I should let him go but I can't seem to.. I think about him all the time.. how can I erase him from my life with less pain?.
  • Feb 22, 2010, 11:57 AM
    kctiger
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Luna2701 View Post
    i want to leave i really do he is my 1st love nd i just feel like i should let him go but i can't seem to..i think bout him all the time..how can i erase him from my life with less pain?..

    By having enough confidence and self value in yourself to know when you aren't being treated right. You fell head over heals for what you thought was your prince, but it turns out this frog ain't changing his ways. Grow up, mature and get through this. Plenty more frogs are out there.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 08:32 PM
    Luna2701
    Why love?.
    Why love?. you only get hurt.. I think love isn't for everyone.. I loved you with all of me.. every thought that went through my head ended with your face.. you said you loved me but you didn't.. love feels so right when its wrong... why?. why is that?. you cheated.. got your ex pregnant and now I'm left alone.. all alone because of your selfish ways.. I guess my love wasn't enough.. the crazy thing is I still love you.. im such a fool.. now I know why they say only fools fall in love.. its guys like you that turn good girls like me into heartless cynical women.. dont say sorry.. sorry isn't even or never will be enough.. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.. this is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone.. why love when you just get hurt in return?.
  • Mar 24, 2010, 08:37 PM
    Kitkat22

    Sweetie you just picked the wrong person to love. How old are you?
  • Mar 24, 2010, 08:39 PM
    Luna2701

    Young very..
  • Mar 24, 2010, 08:41 PM
    Luna2701

    Please help.. how do I put this behind me and move on with my life?. without him in it..
  • Mar 24, 2010, 08:47 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Luna2701 View Post
    please help..how do i put this behind me and move on with my life?..without him in it..

    You don't need to feel your alone, you aren't. Take it one day at a time.

    There is no magic remedy that can take the pain and the feeling of betrayal away. You chose the wrong man and he took advantage of your feelings. Happens every day. Get out and do some running, find a minister or a counselor you can talk too. You can always post here anytime. Hope you get through this and you will.:)
  • Mar 24, 2010, 08:52 PM
    Luna2701

    Its crazy because I'm still in shock I feel has if this is all a bad dream and one day ill wake up and it'll be over but it isn't.. thank you.. I'm trying believe me I am...
  • Mar 24, 2010, 09:22 PM
    Kitkat22
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Luna2701 View Post
    its crazy because im still in shock i feel has if this is all a bad dream and one day ill wake up and itll be over but it isnt..thank you.. im trying believe me i am...

    Just keep posting here sweetie and we will do what we can to help you get through this.:)
  • Mar 25, 2010, 02:03 AM
    Jake2008

    It is a hard lesson to learn, but loving someone always comes with risk. Traits and characteristics are often masked by that glow of love. Not too many of us can say that we have been blindsided by another's behaviour, when we never would have expected it in a million years.

    Just because he was a jerk, does not mean that you won't love again. Think of it as one of life's lessons that you are better of experiencing this now. Why I say that is, when the next man comes along, you will be more careful and cautious.

    Figure out, or fine tune, what you want in a man. Character, loyalty, values, honesty etc. and don't lower your standards because of a strong physical reaction; keep your eyes open.

    There are good men out there.
  • Mar 25, 2010, 02:12 AM
    Ithappenstoall

    The first love is always the worst one, and then it gets better. I have been there and many others (see other posts) as well, but they all get better and move on with their lives.
    You will be fine :), just remember to focus on you you you now
  • Mar 25, 2010, 05:21 AM
    Romefalls19

    First love always feels the strongest, and hurts the most when it ends. You feel like your flying and then all of a sudden you hit the ground. You have to just push through each day, there is no magic pill or special remedy, just time and distance. Surround yourself with positives things, such as friends and family

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