There is is lady where I work who I have always thought was attractive. I wasn't single when she started, then she started seeing someone else at work. We are now both single and over the last 6months have been working together more often.
We often exchange jokes via our cell phones, which leads to lots of messages back and forth, one time nearly all weekend. We like the same comedy programs as our sense of humour is similar which is why I think we get on.
She is several years older than me and has said several times in passing that she doesn't want another toyboy, although we do flirt a lot together.
I invited her to join me to go somewhere one Sunday, which she couldn't make, but did say she would go another time.

What do you think on here? Is she interested?

I guess she is, but the age difference seems to bother her. I guess her statements she didn't "want another toyboy" were meant as invitations to you to proof that you're not. It might help if you wrote what your and her age are.

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Originally Posted by Tordmor

I guess she is, but the age difference seems to bother her. I guess her statements she didn't "want another toyboy" were meant as invitations to you to proof that you're not. It might help if you wrote what your and her age are.

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Im 26 and she is 33. Her last boyfriend was younger than me.

I wouldn't give it so much thought. You're both still in the friend zone at the moment. Unfortunate as it is, texting doesn't mean anything tangible, only the possibility of something more. I would say you continue to try to see her outside of work on friendly terms, see if she's interested firstly in a relationship, a relationship with a younger man, and then finally with you. Try not to get your hopes up, it is possible the age difference might be too big for her to overcome, but then again, it could work out. Play it cool, play it stable.

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Originally Posted by on_myt_own

Im 26 and she is 33. Her last boyfriend was younger than me.

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That doesn't seem like such a big difference to me. Maybe there were some issues with her last boyfriend which she attributed to his age and now she's a bit more careful.

She said she wasn't interested in another boytoy, so that means she's not interested, to show respect for how she feels, and what she's expressed to you, I would keep a distance as far as a relationship goes, Just be friends with her, there's nothing wrong with that, right?

Its odd as sometimes she seems very flirty, other times not at all. I've not been working with her this week, but will be again next week.

If this is going to cause problems, why don't you just go up to her and ask why she is flirting and leading you on, when she says the exact opposite? That's the only way to get your answer, really.

Hopefully we won't be dissecting every one of her actions.

Time to have a mature friendship/relationship. Why not be direct and open about how about you feel and see where that leads as opposed to guessing her feelings?

Asking her to hang out with your in an out of office setting will give you a better idea of how she feels about you. But if she's going to consistently give you excuses for not hanging out, then it's pretty clear that she's not interested, even if she seems flirty.

But then again, office romance has its consequences. Are you sure that's what you want? Be prepared to change jobs if that's the case.

I don't think 7 years is a big deal. I would think with her being 33, dating an 18 year old would be a different story.

You sound like you have fun, with a good sense of humour, and I can tell you that being able to enjoy humour with another like minded individual can help you move mountains.

Maybe too soon to start an actual relationship, wait until she is comfortable, and ready.

Nobody would think twice of an age difference in an 'older' man, by 7 years, when the woman is 26 years old.

That's the thing about being attracted to another human. Its so thrilling because it feels good to us to be around them.

But you work together, and that's a clear red flag to be highly cautious as you interact more. Being thrown together so much may intensify your feelings, but never get so carried away you lose your good common sense, or your ability to see more than just feelings.

In other words, you better wait and see if this is worth losing a job over, or being miserable at work, once the lust fades, and there is nothing left.

She can break your heart, if you get carried away.

I think she feels so comfortable because she doesn't see you as some sort of conquest, but more of just a work colleague who she happens to get on with.

However being that you are both older, I don't really see the age gap as being a problem, apart from the fact that she made the toyboy comment earlier, although that again could have just been her sense of humour.

I think you need to think very carefully about your next move.
If you approach her with the intention of inviting her out, then she will be aware of how you feel, which I think at the moment could backfire interferring with your relationship at work, making every day difficult.

Then of coarse colleges dating, are not acceptable in some employment.

I would play it each day at a time, see what developes naturally.You never know in time she may approach you.

We are now dating!