I was just getting on this site and the guy I date comes in bed with me looking to see what I am doing on the computer. I read to him what is wrong he doesn't want sex
I am a very sexually person and love sex and we have been dating for 5 and 1/2 years and we live together He never wants sex if we do it he wants it when I am facing the wall and he is 44 same age as me but looks younger. I am attrative and keep up with the style and he never wants sex is it me? Or is he gay? He has a good friend that I have heard is gay and married but in the closet do you think he is seeing him behind my back?
He is so good to my son and me as a roommate but not their for me sexually or never tells me I am attractive. I have were sexy wear in front of him never seems to do anything. What is it?? I was married to a guy that wanted it all the time and this is not normal. Help me out! I am someone that he would have never dated I met him on match.com good guy but he won't go see a doctor and he doesn't want me what is it?

Have you talked to him about it? If so, what did he say?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by justcurious55

have you talked to him about it? if so, what did he say?

---

He gets mad all the time. Just like now took off for a walk with his dog
He loves his dog more than me. Do you think he is gay.. He hates oral sex never kisses me maybe a peck on the lips what is it

No one online will be able to tell you if he's gay or not. Actually, no one other than he can tell you that. How is the rest of your relationship between him? Communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship. If you two can't communicate, maybe it's time to move on.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by justcurious55

no one online will be able to tell you if he's gay or not. actually, no one other than he can tell you that. how is the rest of your relationship between him? communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship. if you two can't communicate, maybe it's time to move on.

---

I have a great roommate realationship but sexually there is something wrong I have a gut feeling he is someone's best friend.
He use to be into porn a lot and now I don't know I love him but I don't know the answers and I have never been with anyone that didn't like kissing or sex? ::eek:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lovelymomma

I have a great roomate realationship but sexually their is something wrong I have a gut feeling he is someones best friend.
He use to be into porn alot and now I dont know I love him but I don't know the answers and I have never been with anyone that didn't like kissing or sex??::eek:

---

Thanks for helping out

If he refuses to talk to you and won't go to the dr if its something medical, are you going to be happy continuing to stay in the relationship with him? Will you be able to come to terms with the fact that he may not want to have sex with you or even kiss you as often as you'd like?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by justcurious55

if he refuses to talk to you and won't go to the dr if its something medical, are you going to be happy continuing to stay in the relationship with him? will you be able to come to terms with the fact that he may not want to have sex with you or even kiss you as often as you'd like?

---

If I knew what the problem was like if he is abused as a child then he needs to come to terms my gut tells me other things like I told you he had a best friend they don't speak because of me and he is gay and my guy doesn't want to see it but they use to hang out untl I came into the picture now his friend is jealous of me he should be happy for his friend getting into a relationship. I need to have someone love me, he is selfish in his own way. Its all about him and jacking off sorry to put it that way
Nothing wrong with that if you give the women you love some loving
And touching. I think we are good friends and we could be more but he is not willing to open up to me... where are you from sweetie thanks for talking to me

If he won't talk to you about it, he won't do anything to change it and he gets mad when you mention it - then I reckon you've got problems.

Perhaps the place to start is to ask him how he feels about your relationship - where does he see it heading? What are his plans (if any) for your future? Or is he just parking somewhere comfortable until he can get the courage to leave, come out, whatever?

Relationships are about communication and reciprocity. If he won't think and talk about how he feels after 5 and a half years, and he won't have sex with you or listen to your needs, then he's not really in a relationship with you. You're right. You may as well be his roommate.

It's not like you can blame his youth either - he's 44, and he's a big boy now. So talk to him - let him know it's time to grow up and take responsibility for his behavior. What is he feeling? What does he actually want?

He's not making life any easier for himself or for you by rejecting you sexually. It's just indicative of a deeper issue. Taking the dog for a walk isn't going to achieve much either, except that the dog will get fitter - I think your BF is in denial about something and it's time to take a good hard look at it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lovelymomma

If I knew what the problem was like if he is abused as a child then he needs to come to terms my gut tells me other things like i told you he had a best friend they dont speak because of me and he is gay and my guy doesnt want to see it but they use to hang out untl i came into the picture now his friend is jealous of me he should be happy for his friend getting into a relationship. I need to have someone love me, he is selfish in his own way. Its all about him and jacking off sorry to put it that way
nothing wrong with that if you give the women you love some loving
and touching. I think we are good friends and we could be more but he is not willing to open up to me...where are you from sweetie thanks for talking to me

---

How was your sex life when you first got together? Has it always been like this or did it deteriorate after he lost his best friend? How long have you been telling him that you think his best friend is gay?

I think there is more going on than just his sexuality. I have a feeling there is also a control issue. I get the impression that you feel like he should act or react a certain way and when he didn't you started looking for answers. How have you tried initiating discussions? Have you been 'confronting' him about your concerns? Have you listened to what he had to say?

Its clear he NEEDS to go to the Dr. about this.

I am assuming he is on no medications at this time... its very possible he has medical issues that remain undiagnosed and untreated. Can be high blood pressure, can be diabetes, can be a number of things including depressed levels of testosterone.

Its obvious he is very frustrated by it... however his lashing out at people isn't being helpful at all.

Try getting him to the Dr. without bringing up the sexual performance end of it.. there are psycological aspects, like stress and exhaustion that can also come into play. But eliminate the medical issues first.

High blood pressure, and diabetes if left untreated can KILL him fairly quick.