First of all I apologise for the long thread, but basically this covers all!

Here is my story. We were together for 7mths, we never fought, we like same things and have same ambitions. She broke up with me 1mth and a half ago, we are still in contact like we talk everyday and she told me that she wants to break up with me because she wants to be alone, then some other day she told me that she doesn't have any feelings for me and another time she told me and I quote: "I wish this could have worked but I cannot right now, it's not you, its that i wasnt happy".

A week before the breakup we were on a trip together and we had a great time and were closer than ever. In fact the last month we were the most close to each other. Coming back from the trip, instead of going our ways home, we stayed for the rest of the day together and met friends.

After that we had agreed that we will not be meeting as often as we were to as she had her exams, and for me it was fine as the exams were in 2-3wks. The week after the trip (3wks from her exams), we decided that maybe we were meeting after a meal with her work mates, but she had told me, feel free to do your plans as I don't know if I will be tired. So I did (and mind you, we always did like that, we never fought on anything, we respected eachothers space and we always did our thing).
She called me later and I told her I don't know what I will be doing if I feel like going out or not, and she asked me if I wanted to meet her, and I told her kind of I think I am going to stay home for today. I had told her I made plans with friends but wasn't sure either if I was going out still. So that was OK, as she went home to study.
Then I decided to go out with friends later and I texted her telling her that I would. She kind of wasn't that amused in her reply. I called her later while walking to meet friends and she told me that she was pissed off, that she had asked me to meet her and I didn't and then I did went out eventually.

I know I did bad that I should have met her and then went out wit friends. Then the next day she didn't speak to me and after that she broke it off. :(
We never never fought on anything, it was the perfect relationship. And now knowing the type of person she is she will not go back on her decision.

The reeasons of the breakup don't make any sense to me, as we always talked immediately when something wasn't right.

We spoke 3wks after but she never let me ask her what was the problem as she just told me that she won't go back now/for now. She isn't seeing anyone else and I'm sure of that, she said she wants to be alone and I gave her enough time to be alone.

2weeks after the breakup it was her birthday, I send her a card by post and she was very happy with it that she sent me 3sms's with lots of smilies and thanks. We met on d date of her birthday and I gave her a present. She was happy cause it was something she had wanted.

We went for a party together a week ago, it was as we were together we enjoyed the night, but I didn't make a move neither did she, and I was happy with that as the big part of us being great together is that we enjoy the moment, and live day by day. Then when we were leaving home getting back to her car, she freaked out, like she remembered we are not together and told me to go away and got pissed off at me, even switching off her mobile. The next day I spoke to her by sms in the evening and she told that she cannot see me for now :(

Now we are speaking again but she is keeping her distance and we are only speaking by chat. I decided to go for a 3week trip because I can't get her out of my mind, and I'm hurt big time. I am 30yrs old not a young person so this is not the first r/ship, but I know that this the person I am in love with. She said she is happy for me and that I should do it. But I don't want her to forget me till I come back. I asked her if maybe I can meet her when I come back and see if we can try to make up and start from scratch, even like going out with friends for the beginning. She told me no, I don't want to come back.

But a week before that she was mentioning to go abroad together to go for parties, we had been planning this from last year.

I am still after her because I know this could work out, we never fight, we like same things, and we enjoy each others company with everything we do even unplanned things!

She needs an attitude adjustment pronto. I mean she got mad, broke up with you after this? I'd tell her to take a long walk off a short cliff, if this is how she reacts when you have a simple fight, imagine when you face a bigger problem in the future.

Maybe that's why she decided to break it off then :( Any more thoughts from my long post? I think I mentioned anything.

I am in love with this person, it's the first time I felt like this for someone

We have all fallen in love, had things not work out or they do work out. Right now I would be more alarmed at how she handled a simple problem. You said you are 30, how old is she?

She's 33 years old. I have two things in mind, she may have broke it off because of exams stress and now since I know how proud she is she won't go back. I would have to make a first move, when we start meeting again as friends and something happens, like we started the relationship.

She doesn't show much her feelings so it is difficult. She still was there for me since we broke up, but I want more than that, if not making up for now, at least go out as friends and do the things we like.

I still standby my point, do you want to be with someone who reacts this way over a small fight?

I never got why she over reacted like that on a stupid thing, must have been something else, maybe she noticed that she doesn't want to be in a relationship, that she's better off alone after how she reacted with me - someone who she goes well with. She said she doesn't want to hurt me.

I want help to get to her, first by going out together as friends, when I manage to get there again, I will bring it up bit by bit to see what happened. Maybe she freaked out because there were feelings in between, and she decided that she's not good for this, the thing between us got too serious for her and its better if we are friends.

I want answers to these questions, but I won't get them now, as she wants us as friends and she wants to be alone for now. :(

Try to get my point... im not desperate to get her back. I mean I really love this person, but if I have to be friends with her, I accept it, I just need help to get to her. I gave my whole story so you will understand what is our relationship like.

Feelings don't change overnight and my opinion is that your ex's feelings had been changing over a period before she broke up with you.

The argument was her out.

The two of you aren't on the same page-she doesn't mind a friendship,on her terms,you pursue the friendship hoping(probably false hope)that you'll get back together again.

Don't be available as a friend-I think you need to realise that its over.
I suggest you start no contact and start moving on and healing from the breakup.

I'm not sure, as the last month before the breakup was better than the rest of the other months together. I think she is afraid of having feelings and not sure of a relationship.

I am taking it as it is over, just I never got the answers of the above mentioned here and in my previous post. I have to b friends and that she feels comfortable in my presence as we have lots of common friends. We've known each other for 8yrs before getting together.

Most people THINK that we cannot go on without that one special person. But we do, and look back thinking how much energy was wasted. You will find someone who is more considerate of your feelings. You will be happy one day, without her.

Good luck in the meantime.

I can benefit from a little space and time away, it will always make you see things from outside, then when you are in relationship. I accept what will happen will happen.

But I still feel I need to give it a shot to try to get back wit her. Even if it had to happen in the next months not in the next week or two. First of all I still need to uderstand why she took this decision out of nowhere and no there were no signs that she was getting far away from me, because we were close than ever together and we had a blast while on holiday.

Should I start send her emails to make her smile, and talk to her about things that she likes to talk about? Then when she starts meeting me, I'll see how it goes. Mind you I am moving on, and if someone around comes which I like, I will go for a date, I want to show her I am moving on.

Either you move on or you hang around waiting in limbo for answers and explanations that may never happen.

As your ex isn't talking about her emotions,you can only guess at the whys and wherefores so overthinking trying to understand her is not achieving anything but more frustration.

That's my opinion.
Sorry,but I'd move on if I were you.

I think its rather obvious she is more comfortable with you as a friend and not a romantic partner, with any kind of formal commitment.

You just not have accepted her change in feelings, because you assume her feelings, are as strong as yours.

They obviously, are not. So you can waste your time proving that she wants you, or you can widen your circle of friends and move on.

OK, so I wrote her an email saying what I really feel about her and how I really see her as a person. Some things that I haven't mentioned to her before.

She replied to me in a very happy and anxious way, that she really appreciates this email and the nice words I said to her. She said this a couple of times.

How do you think she will react after this? She then told me again that she's not sure if she's ready to meet me and that for nxt wkend that maybe she will meet me.

Do you think that she wants me? And she wants some more time on her own?
She hadn't spoke to me like this in a week.

Appreciate your feedback and please don't just tell me to move on. I am moving on and in fact I have dated someone.
We have something special together, that none of us had in the past.

What planet are you living on? Moving on is NOT trying to talk the ex into taking you back.

I suggest you reread your thread and try to let the advice you have been given sink in.

If you want to start moving on,you stop communicating with the ex.

Prodigy,


I think you already did what you need to do. If she wants you back she'll let you know.

Some people never argue but it doesn't mean they get along. It could be lack of communication. Maybe she sees something in you that she didn't like and probably see that the relationship won't go anywhere.

I agree with everyone else. You should move on.

And as someone else said, do you want to be with someone that overreacts over small things? Either she always does that or her feelings had already changed and that was an excuse.

You need to move on, stop contact with her, because you can't seem to get over herwith contact. THEN who knows? She may come back and admit she was wrong? You may then decide you want to try a relationship again OR that you have had enough and MOVED ON.

You are 30. You will find someone much more suited to you! Unless you like to be strung along? I know that's not uncommon...

I think she over reacted because she had exams and was stressed out , and you were just having a jolly of a time with your friends. And when she wanted to see you, you were not available and were not giving the needy woman the attention she wanted. She likes the break up because now she gets all your attention. She likes games obviously!
I think some of her young immature colleagues at her school have started to rub off on her.