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I live with my girlfriend shez 42 and am 20 . So last week we went to her familys house and I can tell they didn't agree on our relationship because inaddition to her parents not buying that shez a lezbo ( only because she was married b4) they also were shocked because of the age difference between us ,but we LOVE each other and that's all that matters!! So, I was mad and I started making smart *** comments whenever I felt like they were attacking me.finally I couldn take it anymore so I I insulted her mom needless to say the word, so all the way back home she wouldn talk to me , and when we got home she was like you know what I have to put up with when defendin you every time , n bla bla bla bla and defendin our relationship without you acting like a brat so I told her the truth about what I think of her witch of a mom and we started fighting even more! And then for the first time she started hitting me ( spankin) and not no not the erotic version she didn't pull down nethin but she was serious and we both are not into these kind of things so it was very serious, -__- it hurt me because she was hitting so hard and I told her to stop repeatedly but she didn't she FORCED ME down like physically used her weight to pin me down my wrist is bruized now ! I really love her and I don't know what to do now shez never done that before and I don't want her to do that again , but I can't forgt what she did either I mean I haven't spoken to her ever since and she hasn even tried to apologize or nethin its like she doesn't even care anymore, I cried a bit when she was hitting me and after she was done, and it didn't seem to matter at all to her , its was embarassin , humilating and painful to be honest but she doesn't seem to care ! I don't know what to do or how to speak to her about this ! I want a genuine apology even from her mom because am starting to think this was her moms idea, since we have fought before worse than this yet she never did such thing , so what do you think I should do , and don't say break up , am madly in love with her,do you think maybe she should take anger management class or is it not that serious? I don't want to leave her over a 1 time out of rage incident, what to do? How to make sure she won't do that again?? Shez really a very nice and loving person and never hit me before. I want to make sure she won't do this again , help.
Ps. No kinky responses, thanks

Please post this without the slang. Use proper English, it yields better results

When someone abuses you, you need to leave. Period. No man or woman has the right to EVER hit another woman or man. Period.

Normally, this type of behavior is not a one-time thing.

If you stay with her, you'll be living in fear of her snapping again... why would you want to live that way?

You leave.
Abuse of any kind is not acceptable.

Hello,I posted earlier a question in which my girlfriend hit me after being verbally abusive to her mother,today she talked to me about it but unfortunately she didn't apologize nor promise anything, on the contrary, she said it was all my fault and that I embarrassed her in front of her family. I told her that what she did was physical abuse and she told me that what goes up must come down and that I had it coming when abusing people ( her mother ) I only set myself to be abused as well. And then she said that what happened was not abuse , and that am making a big deal out of it , and that she would never abuse me .
I told her that I don't tolerate this type of physical behavior and she told me again to stop it and " its not like i slapped you or broke your nose" .
She just doesn't seem to understand nor want to admit that what she did was wrong and warrant some kind of counseling or something for her in order to control her emotions and anger.
My question is do you by any chance get her point of view? And also how can I point out and clarify to her that she does need to fix her attitude by seeking professional help , as I sincerely want our relationship to continue?

Thanks.

The first thing I noticed was that you never specified how you were "verbally abusive" to her mother. And you didn't mention whether you apologized for this "abuse". So even if her reaction was excessive it was not unprovoked. Where did you verbally abuse her mother? In your home or in hers? If it was yours or in public, her mother should have just left. If it was your girlfriend's or her mother's home she was justified in throwing you out using violence if necessary. You only told half of the story, you probably don't admit the other half to yourself. You need to step back mentally and look at the other half. Try imagining the situation with your and your girlfriend's roles switched.

PS. Am a girl Not a guy. And for those who need to understand more about what happened, you can read my old post : https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post2235957

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Originally Posted by Tordmor

The first thing I noticed was that you never specified how you were "verbally abusive" to her mother. .

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It was over her mothers place , but she was trying to tick me off and so I snapped and called her names.
I didn't apologize yet to her mother as I sincerely believe she wanted me to get in a fight with her just to break us up ( my Girlfriend and I )

Ok, after reading the previous post it looks a little different. If she really repeatedly hit you, there is either something important that you didn't write (judging from the language of the previous post it was written while you were agitated), or she has indeed severe problems. In the latter case I think you really need to leave her, otherwise she will keep abusing you and her problems will grow worse.

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Originally Posted by annny89

it was over her mothers place , but she was trying to tick me off and so i snapped and called her names.
i didnt apologize yet to her mother as i sincerely believe she wanted me to get in a fight with her just to break us up ( my Girlfriend and i )

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That's no excuse. If you let her "tick you off" in her home, it's your fault. You should have left.

Yes verbal abuse or physical abuse, all the same to me! People just react differently and both of these ways to react should not be tolerated, I think you are both in the wrong. Neither is better than the other.

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Originally Posted by dynocompe

yes verbal abuse or physical abuse, all the same to me! People just react differently and both of these ways to react should not be tolerated, I think you are both in the wrong. Neither is better than the other.

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Thanks for responding;
Just want to point out that I verbally abused her mother ( and so did she) and not my girlfriend.

In those situations, where people are provoking an argument, you need to just leave. Calling names is bad, hitting is bad. Be a grown up, say "I'm not doing this" and split. Call a cab if you need to, or a friend for a ride, but don't let yourself sit in the situation where a dispute could arise.

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

In those situations, where people are provoking an argument, you need to just leave. Calling names is bad, hitting is bad. Be a grown up, say "I'm not doing this" and split. call a cab if you need to, or a friend for a ride, but don't let yourself sit in the situation where a dispute could arise.

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you are absolutely right , its just that those situations occur a lot ( her mom ) , and my nerves got the best of me specially that my girlfriend never does anything to defend me or even talk to her mother when she is being a total...

Thanks for your respond. ^-^

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Originally Posted by annny89

you are absolutely right , its just that those situations occur a lot ( her mom ) , and my nerves got the best of me specially that my girlfriend never does anything to defend me or even talk to her mother when she is being a total.....

Thanks for your respond. ^-^

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No problem. :) Just realize that there is an age difference, and perception can be very different from person to person, and age to age. So just try to do the adult thing, We all get triggered. It's how we deal with it that's important. Good luck. :)