My grandmother died a while ago but I still cry about it to this day. We weren’t that close but I know she loved me. She always favored her other grand children even though I would try and try to get her attention. Every Christmas she would get me either a gift card or make up or things like that. The Christmas before she died she bought me a really pretty fur comforter that I had wanted for a long time. It wasn’t expensive but it was the first thing she had ever got me that meant something. Well, All of her kids (my aunts and uncles) besides my mom are addicted to one or more drugs. They would use her for anything they could get from her. They would break into her house, steal whatever they could get their hands, and so on. I've forgiven all of my aunts and uncles. Except for my Uncle Rick. A few days before Christmas he stole the comforter that my grandmother bought be for a few bucks for his drugs. I can’t forgive him for this. It was the first thing my grandmother would have given me that meant something before she passed and I can't have it. I’m not the kind of person who holds a grudge against anyone, I’m a very forgiving person but I can’t forgive him. My aunt (his sister who's also into drugs) is far worse then him. My family ended up with her 3 kids. I spent my 16th birthday babysitting them, my 9th grade summer stuck in the house 24-7 taking care of a 5 month old baby a 2 year old and a 3 year old. I've had to grow up so fast and miss out on a lot because of her selfishness but still I’ve forgiven her. I don’t understand why I can’t forgive my uncle Rick.

I think it might be a case of you finally feelings so close to your grandmother, and being accepted by her when she gave you such a sentimental gift... and he took that away. Maybe you feel like he has taken away your grandmothers acceptance of you, maybe subconciously, without the gift you feel like you can't have closure of her passing. Forgiving someone is always hard, and maybe he just has to earn your respect back before you will let it go
I hope I helped

This is really, really sad, and I feel for you. Your uncle Rick took something from you that was far more precious than a blanket. It sounds like your mother's family is really dysfunctional, and you have paid a heavy price for being born into it. Of course it isn't fair, and no amount of forgiveness can make them into kind, responsible people. I guess all I'd say is that forgiveness is for your own health and peace of mind, and has nothing necessarily to do with them and who they are or what choices they make. Forgiving them does not mean that you have to continue letting them take advantage of you, steal from you, and generally rip you off. Put as much distance (physical and emotional) between you and them as you can. Move away if you can afford it, otherwise, do whatever you can to get out of their sick sphere of influence. Take what comfort you can from the knowledge that your grandmother did care enough to give you the gift, and that's the real gift, which can't be taken from you. Recovering from this kind of violation and abuse (not too strong a word) will probably take quite a bit of time and effort, so don't be impatient with yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for and receive help wherever you can find it. This kind of family history is bound to cause you to have trust issues that bleed over into your other intimate relationships, so overcoming these issues will have payoffs in every aspect of your life. Don't give up.

You are practically describing my family. Sometimes all we can do to create closure on some things is to forgive the sick person for "they know not what they do". There were three elders in my extended family who divided up a very sizable estate -- my dad for having been married at one time to my mother, her brother -- my uncle and my step father via my mother's death. Each inheritance was cause for terrible manipulating and lying in my extended family. I refused to play so one went to my cunning sister who moved in on my uncle, one to my lying brother who was as sick as my dad and one to some strange lady and her kids who married my step father and pulled a fast one there. When I think of how I was "cheated" and got nothing... I am immediately reminded that oh, but maybe I was saved without knowing it and was gifted with something far more valuable than money... the ablility to live my life happy, joyous and free. As it turns out, I am best equipped for this arrangement too so in a way maybe they needed it more than I did. You don't know what strange fate might have come for you along with the fur comforter had you fit in well enough to have properly received it. Despite how disaapointing it was to have Uncle Rick confirm that he is sick just like all the others, forgive him and count your blessings you are you.

It is a catch 22- you probably won't feel better until you forgive Uncle Rick, and yet your misery over his actions is what is causing you to hold the grudge. I know how this is. I suffered for years from childhood abuse and abandonment, and yet forgiving the people who were involved was the only way I could heal. It took years for me- don't carry this into your life any further.

Truth is, you were probably the brightest spot in your grandmother's life- the one who made good. She didn't have to worry about you, so she didn't give you as much attention. It would really hurt her that uncle Rick took the blanket, but it would hurt her more to know you are in so much pain over it. I am sure she wants you to let this go and continue to live your life knowing she is watching you and loves you.

Uncle Rick is run by his drugs- he has no conscience and probably only sees material items as a means to get his drugs. Pity him. You can't hold a grudge for someone for whom you feel pity. This is what you escaped, and Grandma is proud of you.

Its so weird to have so much support from people you don't even know, or from anyone in general for that matter. Its also a change to have someone (in a way) take my side and let me know I'm not just being unreasonable with what I'm going through. I really appreciate you guys taking time out of your life to help me. Thanks...