What should I do, what do I have to do in islam. I have been married for 3 years and my husband stopped talking to my family after 2 weeks after the wedding for a really stupid reason and he still does not talk to them, I tell him to forget about what ever went on and its not worth him not having a relationship with them but he always says tha he will make things better with them soon. But soon became 3 years. Also he does not takke care of his mom and dad, he doesnot go to their house much and does not help them out financially, I try to let him call his parents and remind him to call them and to help them but he always puts it off for work which is the most important thing in the world to him(work and money). I don't want to have kids some day and see them do the same thing (what goes around comes around)right. I need help. What should I do. I thought about divorce but I hope tha we can fix this some how?

Are these two threads related?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/islam/...am-447830.html

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Are these two threads related?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/islam/...am-447830.html

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No yhere are 2 different questions? Thanks for any advice

The first thing is communication. Have you sat down and talked with your husband about why he doesn't keep in touch with his parents? I know you consider his falling out with your family 'silly', but does he? Communication should be open and honest between you. You should both express your feelings and concerns and listen when the other person shares his/hers.

Next is working together to fix what can be fixed. Compromise where needed. Maybe he isn't the one talking to the families. Maybe you are. In some families that is how it works out.

Remember that if/when you have children, your husband is only part of the influence on them. You are a large part of how they view the world and respond to other people. You and your husband should balance each others strengths and weaknesses.

Do you love and trust your husband? Would marriage counseling give you more tools to be able to work together as a couple?

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

The first thing is communication. Have you sat down and talked with your husband about why he doesn't keep in touch with his parents? I know you consider his falling out with your family 'silly', but does he? Communication should be open and honest between you. You should both express your feelings and concerns and listen when the other person shares his/hers.

Next is working together to fix what can be fixed. Compromise where needed. Maybe he isn't the one talking to the families. Maybe you are. In some families that is how it works out.

Remember that if/when you have children, your husband is only part of the influence on them. You are a large part of how they view the world and respond to other people. You and your husband should balance each others strengths and weaknesses.

Do you love and trust your husband? Would marriage counseling give you more tools to be able to work together as a couple?

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I sat down a talked to him, he knows that not talking to my parents for the ost 3 years is wrong and always says that he wants to talk to them. One month became one year and now 3 years. As for his parents he also knows that he need to take care of them more but everything in our life depends on his job. IF WORK IS GOOD OUR RELATIONSHIP IS GOOD AND HE WILL BECOME THIS DIFFERENT PERSON AND DO THE RIGHT THING IF HE FELT LIKE IT.I tried everything with him I talked to him, fight, even his mom knows that he doesn't talk to my parents. She told him once to talk to them but never again and never asked if he does talk or tell him to do the right thing. IF THINGS Don't GET BETTER AND I DECIDE TO DIVORCE HIM WILL IT BE A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO DO SO?

The good reason to get a divorce is because you don't want to be in a marriage any longer - the exact reason doesn't matter.

First of all, why are you so worried about what relationships he has outside your relationship. Whether it be your family or his family. You two are married and his only true real concern is and should be providing for his wife.
Not his family, or your family, but you two.

I do not think it is wrong for him not talking to your parents then again it is just a matter of opinion.

I think it is a silly reason to get a divorce. Why are you trying to change him? You need counseling on why it is so important for you to be so concerned about his relationships with his family or yours.

Angel20. You need to knock your chip of your shoulder.

You asked for any advice and you were not happy about any of it.

Do what you want. Ruin your life and your husbands life. You're a major ----- and problem and your husband is probably better off without you.

Take care and bye.

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Originally Posted by angel20

no yhere are 2 different questions? thanks for any advice

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This is your quote. Do not like any of the advice, your already had your mind made up anyway.

Angel, I am curious as to why you chose today to 'disagree' with me. I know you know how to respond to a post because you already did that days ago.

Please review these rules on the Agree/Disagree feature: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-...nes-24951.html

Striking out at those trying to help you, will only cause the people who volunteer their time and energy to give up and ignore your posts.

We only know what you tell us and can only answer from our knowledge and experience. You asked if your husband not having anything to do with the families was grounds for divorce. Not where I live. Incompatibility is and that is usually characterized by the individuals NOT WANTING TO BE IN THE MARRIAGE anymore.

Good luck.

[QUOTE=angel20 disagrees : i want to be in this marriage, getting a divorce doesnt happen just because i feel like getting a divorce, the exact reason matters because getting a divorce in islam means that it impossible to live with him.
.[/QUOTE]



You asked for reasons to leave a marriage. I answered that the reason to divorce is because you don't want to be married to that person any longer.

I have no idea what the reasons for getting a divorce in Islam. Tht question is better posted on the Islam board.

Your other thread (which you say is not related to this question) DOES refer to Islam.

I would suggest that you review the rules of AMHD and lose your attitude. Offending the very people who are trying to answer your questons is not terribly smart.