I would like to have a relationship with my daughter-in-law and granddaughter but there is no effort on her part to do so. My son and DIL have been married 5 years and have a 2 year old daughter. They will not communicate with us and after a month, I called to just see how they were. There is no effort whatsoever on their part. We have friends and family who always inquire how they are and it is so sad for us to actually say we don't know. It has been a six weeks since we have talked or even seen our granddaughter. I don't understand why there is so little respect or consideration for us. Our last visit our DIL was rude and uncommunicative. She actually sat and read a magazine. We invite them to dinner, I tried to plan my husband's 60th birthday party and they are too busy to come. This goes on all the time. Do I quit trying? My fear of course is if I do, we will never hear from them and that breaks my heart.

Hi
I completely understand that relations are very important in our lives nad we need them . And as a mother its really difficult to break relationship with your son .
As you havewritten that when you visit them your DIL showa a rude behaviour . She donot have nay respect for you but what about your son ? Have you ever talked to him regarding all this and about your feelings ?
Talk to him separately if possible . Try to make him understand that you all can live happily by remaining in touch with each other .
But if still he also donot want to carry on this relation , then I think you have your own self respect and you both should live your life your way .
Try to divert your mind some other work which can keep you busy and after some time you will definitely feel better .just believe they are missing something very important in life (i.e their parents) not you .

Lots of love .
God bless you

Other than telling your son you wish to see more of your granddaughter, you should really leave them to handle their own affairs, as hurtful as that might be, as he has to cleave unto his wife to keep peace in his own house, azz hole that she may be. I hope in time she will soften her position, but adding stress will only make her more resolved.

For family events, always invite them, but don't expect them. I think you have to leave the door open, and hope for the best.

Its sad that it's the way it is, but pressure seldom works out for you. I know the feeling of hurt, and dissapointment, well, and sympathize with your situation.

Hopefully as she gets older, things may change.

Is there some underlying issue here? This all seems a bit extreme and down right rude if there is nothing else to back up these actions.

Yes that is what I was wondering, why are they acting like this in the first place? One you know that, be easier to get some sort of conclusion