So my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months, we have history, this time it's a lot easier and we don't have any problems except for the fact he won't sleep with me, I have tried everything from straight talking to subtle hints to sexy underwear, I even wore his football top and nothing else. Getting nowhere. Help! Asides from this we have no problems.

Maybe he wants to take it slow. What's the rush?

Thanks for your reply.
Not necessarily a rush, I just think there is a reason. He goes so far and no further. Almost mixed signals, its confusing.

Have you tried talking to him about it? You should voice your concerns and see how you both feel about things. Maybe he's been hurt in the past and he's afraid to bring the relationship to the next level? Or maybe he's got performance anxiety? How old are the both of you? Have either of you been intimate before? Any religious/moral beliefs that may be a deciding factor in all of this?

Talk about it, there are a lot of reasons guys don't do it. Stress, things on our mind, not in the mood, maybe we don't want to rush it

I think he's being a gentleman.

With the relationship going on a second time of only a few months, he is not ready to add sex, obviously.

See if you can't respect that, and if I'm right, he will appreciate no pressure in that regard.

Because there is 'a history' as you say, he is doing what he thinks he needs to do to establish a good relationship first, before he hops back in the sack with you.

Accept that he is willing to commit and build a foundation with you, first.

He is 27 and I'm 25. Yes we have both been intimate before, and there are no religious reasons behind it.
Maybe he is just being a gentleman, or as suggested trying to build a foundation first. In which case, I'm more than happy to accept it. We have spoke very briefly about it, but he changes the subject, and as mentioned I don't want to pressure him or have him feel bad about it. I'm going to leave it, when he's ready/wants to, he'll come to me. Thanks for your help

I think that is the best way to go clickclick (love the nic).

When he's ready, you will know.

Glad you agree, so here's to waiting, thanks for your help.. . Again :)

Haha! Exactly!! He just wants to LOVE YOU for YOU, and not love you because of sex. I too want this! My next girlfriend we will have a foundation of TRUST and LOVE and I will LOVE her before we do anything sexual because I want the LOVE there for her with or without the sex/sexual things.

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Originally Posted by Adapa

haha! Exactly!!! He just wants to LOVE YOU for YOU, and not love you because of sex. I too want this! My next girlfriend we will have a foundation of TRUST and LOVE and I will LOVE her before we do anything sexual because I want the LOVE there for her with or without the sex/sexual things.

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I thought this was a great post! I definitely agree, I was just feeling a little confused and insecure when I posted that, but after reading the replies I'm more than happy to wait patiently, I love him, he's worth it.

That's great!! Love is worth it :D

Have you discussed birth control?? Personally, I think he is smart to leave the sex alone, and find out if there is anything besides lust happening between you.

Do you live together? What kind of history are we talking about?

I am also in a returning relationship.I am so uninterested in sex with her, it's hard to describe beyond the need to trust her,the need to base the feelings before more physical contact, we are 43 and 45,respectively,so it doesn't just happen for the younger,it's a human thing,not age.

By history I mean we used to be together for nearly two years and we had no problems asides from both our families hating us being together and in the end that is why we split. His family still objects but mine doesn't. As for birth control yes we have talked about that and agreed on a method. No we don't live together but he stays at my house all the time.

I know the situation well, I have been on both sides of the visits and stay-overs, :)

Mine is a relationship from more than 8 years ago when I was betrayed by her, too long a story to worry about now,and now I am reluctant to give her my all, we're just 2 tired participants in a friendship.

I'm going to visit his mother as soon as it can be arranged, she hates me, but it's worth trying to sort out or at least find out why so I can try and put her fears at rest.

I'm sorry to hear that you were betrayed and I can understand why you are reluctant to give her everything. I definitely think it's best to wait it out and make sure she is right for you, but then maybe she has changed for the better in the 8 years?

We are both in daily pains,mine from 25 years of neglect and construction work, it's taking it's tolls, she from neglect also, years of being a biker,party,party,party,etc... I think neither of us has much ambition, just be friends for the time being..

Then maybe that's best. Hey if you're happy with it then great :)