I have made several complaints to the school and because of my son's past behavior my complaints have been dismissed. Last week my husband and I had a meeting with the principal and v-principal and we voiced our concerns about the sexual comments that were being said to our son. The next week he was threatened with rape. I have went to the police and was told that they could not help me. The school has failed to act upon any of my complaints and said my son needs to learn to deak with things. I need advice... what should be my next step to help my son?

Elaborate please. How was he threatened with rape?

Most schools would have a policy regarding sexual and /or physical harassment. Telling a parent that their son needs to 'deal with things' seems an extraordinarily weak response.

What did your son do in the past that would cause the school to dismiss your complaints?

If the harassment is genuine, and the school won't take any action, my suggestion is, take your son out of the school and send him elsewhere.

Firrt of all there is a zero tolerance rule in the public schools. Bullying is a crime. Document your e-mails you send to the principle and browse the internet and find out your state rules on Bullying. Copy them. Look in the handbook your son was given at the first of the school year. It will have the code of conduct , you will be able to find the laws against this.

I do know what I'm talking about. If your son has a computer and they are saying horrible mean things about him or making threats against him that is called cyber-bullying and it is against the law. So is sending embarrassing picture on a cell phone. Document all the incidents and emails and dates of the meetings with the principle. If this doesn't work go to the superintendent of your child's school. Also you said your son had been in trouble before? Was it with the ones who are bullying him? Try to resolve this once more with the principle and state your case calmly.

If your son's behaviour has anything to do with this then you need to find out before you do anything. If he is part of the problem, ask the principal for a meeting with all the boys involved including your son and see if you can work this out. Be sure the other boys parents are there also. If your son has a computer be sure to check his outgoing and incoming emails. Sometimes children don't want to tell their parents if they have said or done anything to cause these other children to react this way.

I'm not saying he has, but with children you have to hear both sides. I will guess you have already talked with him, but you need to ask him again if he said anything to these boys to help create this problem .I don't think anything warrants two or three kids picking on one. Chat rooms for children are something I would avoid if he is in one. Hope I helped.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by J_9

Elaborate please. How was he threatened with rape?

---

The boys have been making remarks about my son being gay. This has been going on most of this school year. About 3 weeks ago its escalated. They make comments to him like 'you know you want some of this' while grabbing their crotch. I complained to the office and nothing was done. Last week while in class, one of the boys was saying things to him but he ignored him. After that the boy walked to him and told him that he's going to rape him then kick his a**.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gemini54

Most schools would have a policy regarding sexual and /or physical harassment. Telling a parent that their son needs to 'deal with things' seems an extraordinarily weak response.

What did your son do in the past that would cause the school to dismiss your complaints?

If the harassment is genuine, and the school won't take any action, my suggestion is, take your son out of the school and send him elsewhere.

---

My son had emotional issues that caused him to act out in school. When he did act out it was more of him not listening to the teacher or hitting himself. He also has a speech impediment; this is another cause of him being teased. When the school notified me about his behavior at school I got help for him. He now sees a behavioral therapist once a week and he also sees the school psychologist. So when something happens there they automactically think my son is the cause. I'm not saying my son is innocent because no child is but they need to take the steps to stop this harassment. Another student came up to me and told me another incident that happened in the restroom at the school. I am now looking for other schooling options for my son.

Have you talked to the Superintendent of the school district? If the principal is doing nothing, it's time to go over his head.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Firrt of all there is a zero tolerance rule in the public schools. Bullying is a crime. Document your e-mails you send to the principle and browse the internet and find out your state rules on Bullying. Copy them. Look in the handbook your son was given at the first of the school year. It will have the code of conduct , you will be able to find the laws against this.

I do know what I'm talking about. If your son has a computer and they are saying horrible mean things about him or making threats against him that is called cyber-bullying and it is against the law. So is sending embarrassing picture on a cell phone. Document all the incidents and emails and dates of the meetings with the principle. If this doesn't work go to the superintendent of your childs school. Also you said your son had been in trouble before? Was it with the ones who are bullying him? Try to resolve this once more with the principle and state your case calmly.

If your son's behaviour has anything to do with this then you need to find out before you do anything. If he is part of the problem, ask the principal for a meeting with all the boys involved including your son and see if you can work this out. Be sure the other boys parents are there also. If your son has a computer be sure to check his outgoing and incoming emails. Sometimes children don't want to tell their parents if they have said or done anything to cause these other children to react this way.

I'm not saying he has, but with children you have to hear both sides. I will guess you have already talked with him, but you need to ask him again if he said anything to these boys to help create this problem .I don't think anything warrants two or three kids picking on one. Chat rooms for children are something I would avoid if he is in one. Hope I helped.

---

I had a meeting with the school and they do bring up past behavior problems. Some of the things that he has been suspended for are the kids that bully him words against his. A problem that he has is when he is constantly picked on he does blow up. He yells, runs, and he has cussed at the boys. So he gets suspended for cussing and the other boys get away without any punishment. They only see the part where my son is doing the wrong thing. I know he is not an angel and he is punished if he does something wrong. He has not had any problems with these before this year but last year he was picked on by another boy. They ended up getting into a fight and both were suspended. I had no problem with this because I knew that he wasn't treated unfairly. This year it is not 1 boy its 7-8 boys and he is constantly bullied. The main cause of them picking on him is the way he looks and talks. He has a speech impediment so his voice is soft and feminine.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by J_9

Have you talked to the Superintendent of the school district? If the principal is doing nothing, it's time to go over his head.

---

I have went to the school district and was not allowed to talk to the superintendent. They told me that he doesn't deal with these kind of issues. They gave me a short meeting with the director of pupil and community services. These threats from these boys are not being taken seriously; to all the school personal I have talked to its no big deal what they said. When I picked up my son and he told me, it broke my heart that he has to deal with these kind of remarks. He is scared and getting depressed. When he got home he laid down and told me he is 2 kinds of tired... 1 where he wants to go to sleep and never get up and the other kind is where he just can't take it nomore. The school has now promised to act in the next 2 days. I'm thinking of removing him from the school but I am not going to back down from them even if I do. I don't think any child should have to take this kind of abuse and they should be held responsible for the safety and well-being of our children while they are in their care.

Of course they told you you're not allowed to talk to the super intendant. They're in the wrong and they know it. And if you go over them, they'll likely be in trouble. District's websites usually have info like how to contact the super on it. Have you looked there?

It's hard to see our children hurt by words or actions of others. You need to talk to the Superintendent of the Schools. If they say he doesn't deal with that sort of thing, then tell them you are going to the local media with your story and be prepared tp follow up. Don'tget angry, remain calm .

As I said in my earlier post if the Superintendent doesn't want to talk to you need to look in the laws of the Schools policies and I'm sure you'll learn the superintendent is supposed to address these issues. That is his job! Hope you know I'm so sorry your son is going through this.

Its unfortunate that it has to come down to it so often, but it seems like school districts are reluctant to take care of things until the media, or at least the threat of the media, is used. There were a few articles in the paper about my former high school principal. She's no longer the principal after all the trouble the last article brought (she'd threatened a student with an airsoft gun). So much has been in the media lately about schools not effectively handling bullying, just mentioning it might make them change their tune. Even if it does though, its probably still best to change your sons school

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ninasangel

I had a meeting with the school and they do bring up past behavior problems. Some of the things that he has been suspended for are the kids that bully him words against his. A problem that he has is when he is constantly picked on he does blow up. He yells, runs, and he has cussed at the boys. So he gets suspended for cussing and the other boys get away without any punishment. They only see the part where my son is doing the wrong thing. I know he is not an angel and he is punished if he does something wrong. He has not had any problems with these before this year but last year he was picked on by another boy. They ended up getting into a fight and both were suspended. I had no problem with this because I knew that he wasnt treated unfairly. This year it is not 1 boy its 7-8 boys and he is constantly bullied. The main cause of them picking on him is the way he looks and talks. He has a speech impediment so his voice is soft and feminine.

---

I have a friend whose son was bullied at school and the circumstances were similar. He would put up with it until it got too much and then blow his top - and then of course (as with your son), it was all his fault.

It's really interesting how the education system perpetuates the cycle of abuse and actually condones it!

I don't know what your financial situation is, but the school is breaching its duty of care by allowing this to happen to your son. A carefully worded letter from a solicitor may get them to take more notice and take some positive action.

In the end though, regardless of what the school does, a dynamic of abuse has been created between the boys that will be hard to break. Your best course of action may just be to remove him from the school, as the continued harassment will have long term emotional consequences.

File a law suit against the school, it will get their attention very quickly.

I hope you find some help for your sons sake. Kids are cruel sometimes. Be sure you tell the superintendent that if he is not going to listen then you will go to the media. Be sure you are ready to back up that statement. Good Luck:):):)

Hope This Helps



What is bullying?



Bullying is abusive behavior by one or more students against a victim or victims. It can be a direct attack -- teasing, taunting, threatening, stalking, name-calling, hitting, making threats, coercion, and stealing -- or more subtle through malicious gossiping, spreading rumors, and intentional exclusion. Both result in victims becoming socially rejected and isolated.



Boys tend to use physical intimidation or threats, regardless of the gender of their victims. Bullying by girls is more often verbal, usually with another girl as the target. Cyber-bullying by both boys and girls -- in online chat rooms, e-mail, and text-messaging -- is increasing.



Bullying is a common experience for many children and teens. Direct bullying seems to increase through the elementary school years, peak in the middle school/junior high school years, and decline during the high school years. Although direct physical assault seems to decrease with age, verbal abuse appears to remain constant.



Whether the bullying is direct or indirect, the key component of bullying is physical or psychological intimidation that occurs repeatedly over time
To create an ongoing pattern of harassment and abuse.


What can adults do to stop the bullying?



Combating bullying is a mission that requires cooperation between everyone involved. Parents, the school, and the community must work together to stop bullying. A comprehensive intervention plan that involves all students, parents, and school staff can help ensure that all students can learn in a safe and fear-free environment.



This can include school surveys on bullying to identify the problem, awareness campaigns in schools, churches, places of worship, libraries, and recreation centers, and a school climate where bullying is not tolerated (educational programs, peer counseling, whole-school policies, classroom rules, cooperative learning activities, increased supervision during lunch and recess).

All children are entitled to courteous and respectful treatment by students and staff at school. Educators have a duty to ensure that students have a safe learning environment. Fortunately, most educators take their responsibilities to stop bullying very seriously. Several states have passed anti-bullying laws and require public schools to have an anti-bullying program in place. Ask for a copy of your school’s policy or check the student handbook to see if your school has policies that will help resolve the problem.