I was in a long distance relationship for 5 months. We were madly in love. We had our arguments every now and then but it didn't seem to effect our relationship. We both are busy but we still managed to talk and text each other daily. We talked at least like 4 hours everyday on instant messenger no matter how busy we were. I have anger issues and I get jealous easily and because of that we got into a lot of arguments. I have been trying to change but it isn't easy. Anyway, we were talking last weekend and we got into another argument and I apologized right away and then we were good.. but then she got ill and didn't talk to me or get on instant messenger for 2 days. What bothered me is she always talk to me no matter what and she wasn't like stuck in bed sick.. I started thinking she's trying to ignore me. Then she talks to me the 3rd day and told me she's sorry for not talking to me for 2 days and that she has been sleeping all the time. I waas upset and we got into an argument.then out of nowhere she said that we need a break. I told her that taking a break don't work except in movies and asked her if she could give us another chance. She said she's confused and needs a couple of days to think. We didn't talk for 2 days and then on the 3rd day she told me that she really love me but she can't deal with the distance and the arguments anymore and that we should end the relationship.
And it wasn't an ugly breakup. We talked and she was crying and saying sorry the whole time. I apologized for all the times I yelled and treated her bad and wished her the best for the future. And we just talked for a while . Then we decided we should be friends. She told me that in time if things change she'll rethink about us and maybe give our relationship another chance.. and she also admitted that she still loves me but not as much as when we first started.. and that the arguments were to blame for that.. that was the last we talked. Its been 2 days since she even said hi and I miss her. She doesn't get on instant messenger.. and I'm starting to think that she doesn't care about me and that she just said all the stuffs she did because she didn't want to hurt me... I am really a dumbass when it comes to relationships but I know that I really love her and I will do anything to have her back which is impossible.
Do you think there is another guy involved? And I started theraphy and counceling to help me with my anger issues.. I promised her that even if we aren't together I will work on that and I will keep my promise

Well done for realizing you need to find help with your anger and jealousy issues. Once you have sorted that out,you will do much better in your future relationships.

As for your ex,it seems she has gone no contact so I suggest you do the same and concentrate on your own life.

Your on the right track right now, getting therapy for your anger issues. I guess it was too much for her, the distance, and you yelling at her all the time, and constantly fighting. She let you down easy. Maybe somewhere down the road, and she sees you got the help like you said you are, maybe she will considering seeing you again. But for now, you have to move on, and that's what she is doing. Let it go for now, and give her sometime to think. Don' beg, it never work. Space is the only thing you can give her now. Good luck.

Thanks for the advice.. I am feeling much better now and yea... maybe I should move on with my life. We talked today. And.. well we just talked as friends. No discussions about what happened between us or anything. And I am just glad to have her as a friend.. and I hope I don't screw up my future relationships. Thanks again

Make sure you can handle the friendship,as it mostly takes some time to recover from a breakup.

Good luck with your therapy!

The key to your future relationships, and not just with girlfriends, is going to be controlling your anger, and realizing how much of a handicap it can be, if you don't.

Anger often masks fear. Fear of loss, of not being good enough etc. and also sometimes comes out as jealousy, which smothers an innocent partner.

When it becomes predictable, it gives an impression of you as a person who is not in control, and who is irrational in their thinking.

You will benefit from counselling so much. I admire you for following through with this. In so many ways this type of counselling will make for much better relationships from girlfriends, to friends, to co-workers, bosses, etc.

Keep up the good work.

Glad your letting her have her peace, and working on yourself.

Thank you so much everybody!! I appreciate all of you replying to my post :)

Oh I forgot to mention. Today while we were talking about staying friends. She again told me that maybe we could be more than just friends. Her exact words were "maybe in time we could be more than just friends again :). but i am not promising anything". What should I do? Should I stay friends with her and talk to her and see what happens or should I just let it go and forget about it.. go NC maybe? I mean I am not depressed anymore. I still love her.. alot but... haha I guess therapy did help.. and I still want her back but I am sure I will be fine even if I don't. I got my own life.. and I really don't mind being just friends with her.. but I'm still not sure if I am ready to hear "i am seeing someone" :s

Let it go. You will find someone else who will treat you the way you need to be treated.

You have a better chance of her returning through NC then remaining friends with her. End it will you telling her she was right, you guys need to be apart and go NC.

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And I really don't mind being just friends with her.. but I'm still not sure if I am ready to hear "i am seeing someone" :s

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I think once you heal completely, and have gotten on with your own life, you can then decide if this friendship deal is worth it, or not.

At least you can weigh the facts and not just go by feelings.

It is so refreshing to hear a man admit his anger issues and seek counseling without blaming the woman. You are truly on the right track.

It's possible that you may get back with her someday, but the best thing you can do right now is move on and focus on getting yourself beyond all of the anger issues you are harboring.

Healing is almost impossible without NC. It's really hard to return to just being friends with someone you love, but Good luck!

Thanks again. I finally decided to go NC.. but I am wondering how long should I not contact her. I mean I really don't want to lose her and I am still hoping that she would take me back and by not being in touch, won't it give her the impression that I have moved on or worse found someone else? I just want to give her some time and space to really think

Let time take care of this.

Wow... this is hard lol.. But I am going to be strong. No contact whatsoever... thanks :)

That's a wise choice you've made. Just concentrate on you and everything will work out for the best.

Stick to it and be proud of yourself.