I love my guy best friend
OK, so here's the problem, I am a guy, and I love my guy best mate, we have been mates for over 2 years now, and I fell in love with him fairly quickly, we have slept round each ovas house, he trusts me enuf to get changed in the same room, we do loads gay jokes and stuff when we are working together, and well that's all there is gay jokes, I don't know how to tell him, I know he is straight, he thinks I am too as me and him have both had sex with girls, and we normally talk about it, like what moves we have been trying blah blah blah, normal guy stuff, whenever I talk about it with him, all I can do is imagining him doing those things, I want him more than I have ever wanted anyone, its not just for sex, its for having him as me and him, him and me, I can't deal with this on my own, no-one knows I am gay, especially him. I have been wiv a few guys and its just been sex nuffin else, they (2) of them are in the closet so they won't say nefin.
Any suggestions? I hate the feeling of me not being with him, and I just can't stop thinking about him, he's my last thought at night and my first thought in the morning.
I find myself drinking and smoking just to try and calm myself and chill out about the whole thing, please someone has got to be in the same situation, or been in the same situation. It really does hurt