Ask Me Help Desk - To quick and too soon?

Hello all, this post is actually about my boyfriends sister. We got into a small argument last night about his sisters decisions and the true meaning behind it. I know that it is to each their own, but for some reason I don't think it was a good move on her part at all...

His sister got married in Aug. of 2009. By Nov. of 2009 she announced she was pregnant.

To me, I think that is way to fast.

My boyfriend claims that she wasn't planning this, but decided to not take her birth control anymore because it was too hard to keep up with and remember. I know for a fact there are different methods of BC and that taking a pill every day is a thing of the past. I also think that she planned this unannounced to her new husband and even parents.

Curious on everyone's thoughts.

Mmmmm too hard to give an opinion not knowing her and her dynamics, personality, maturity, or his, for that matter. Birth control is a pretty important issue now adays, the expense, logistics, two people rushing into marriage and not knowing what is to come. There are a lot of issues.

My opinion. Lazy girl. Now she will be thinking down the line when she is too big to even move, if she made the right decision and complains that her husband doesn't think she is attractive any more.

Who knows.

Ti ck

My thoughts? It's none of your business.

What she decides to do is no-one's affair but her and her husband's. Keep out of it.

What are you? The pregnancy police?

Considering that I am not in their bedroom and haven't been privy to their discussions on birth control methods and having children, I won't judge her or the situation.

You may think it is too soon. Her husband may not. I have no idea why her parents should be consulted about what they do in their life together. They are adults, obviously, and have an adult responsibility.

I hope she has a healthy pregnancy and baby. That is where the focus should be now not on what was decided before Nov. 2009.

For you perhaps it was too fast,for them maybe not.

They are adults and married and do not need to consult with anyone about their private life.

My advice,stay way out of it,its not your business.

I have to agree with everything everyone has said. I also want to add that there are only 2 forms of birth control that are 100% effective: 1) Abstinence; and 2) surgical sterilization.

You may not think it's a good move, but they ARE married and they DO have sex. Remember sex = pregnancy. So it may not have even been planned.

Never assume anything. You know what happens when you assume right?

You see, I had a similar situation with my son and his wife. They delivered their first baby on December 22, 2008. In March I found out they were pregnant again. The second baby was delivered December 6, 2009. My grandchildren will be the same age for 16 days a year.

Guess what. They are adults, they are married, it's none of my business what they do in the bedroom.

Stay in your own bedroom and keep out of your boyfriend's sisters bedroom.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

I have to agree with everything everyone has said. I also want to add that there are only 2 forms of birth control that are 100% effective: 1) Abstinence; and 2) surgical sterilization.

Just so you know, in males the surgeries can heal. It happens once in about 4000 cases. Follow-up is important.

They are a married couple who can make their own decision about when to start a family. Isn't it possible that they actually wanted to have a baby?

Why complain - just be happy for them.

Wow.. OK... I don't sit up all nightand think about the decision they decided to make. Its not my choice what they do, and quite honestly I don't care. The topic came up and I constantly have to hear about it. My solution, I'm not the sucker with a kid at 22 years old. Her choice isn't stopping me any in my life goal.

No need for every response to be outlandishly rude. Sometimes I just like to dicuss topics I find interesting or debatable.

And no I'm not the pregnancy police. What a childish response.. . but perhaps there should be a pregnant police

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucky098

My boyfriend claims that she wasnt planning this, but decided to not take her birth control anymore because it was too hard to keep up with and remember. I know for a fact there are different methods of BC and that taking a pill every day is a thing of the past. I also think that she planned this unannounced to her new husband and even parents.

Curious on everyones thoughts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucky098

Wow.. ok... i don't sit up all nightand think about the decision they decided to make. Its not my choice what they do, and quite honestly I don't care. The topic came up and I constantly have to hear about it. My solution, I'm not the sucker with a kid at 22 years old. Her choice isn't stopping me any in my life goal.

No need for every response to be outlandishly rude. Sometimes I just like to dicuss topics I find interesting or debateable.

And no I'm not the pregnancy police. What a childish response. .... but perhaps there should be a preggo police

I don't know about "police," but as a labor and delivery nurse I think there should be a "license to breed" JUST KIDDING!! :p I've seen way too many women having children who should NOT be having children for reasons far too many to list here.

Well, you found a topic that is very sensitive to many people. No one is being "outlandishly rude" purposely, but as you know, when you post here you open yourself up to all kinds of responses whether they are the responses you want to hear or not.

Your boyfriend was "outlandishly rude" to even consider that she decided not to take her birth control. In all actuality, the discussion you all had about her was "outlandishly rude" because you were discussing the sex life of a married couple without involving their input.

Honestly though, did you want us to come here and agree that this was way too soon for them to become pregnant? Did you want us to agree with you? Rather than getting into another discussion about their sex life, when and if it comes up again, it's best just to stay out of it. What they do behind closed doors is nobody's business but their own. It was terrible of your boyfriend to make such accusations.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucky098

Hello all, this post is actually about my boyfriends sister. We got into a small argument last night about his sisters decisions and the true meaning behind it. I know that it is to each their own, but for some reason I dont think it was a good move on her part at all....

His sister got married in Aug. of 2009. By Nov. of 2009 she announced she was pregnant.

To me, I think that is way to fast.

My boyfriend claims that she wasnt planning this, but decided to not take her birth control anymore because it was too hard to keep up with and remember. I know for a fact there are different methods of BC and that taking a pill every day is a thing of the past. I also think that she planned this unannounced to her new husband and even parents.

Curious on everyones thoughts.

These are my thoughts: How you phrased your 'question' makes it appear that you were/are having a problem with 'their' choice and made it sound like they should have consulted her parents. It also seemed like you want us to agree with you about what she may or may not have done.

Speculation about another couple's choices and life in general is not something that makes a good discussion topic on a public board.

I'm not trying to prove a point. I don't need everyone to agree with me. I was just curious if anyone has ever experienced something that I am experiencing right now. I don't know why everyone on here has to be so judgemental towards me. Ugh!

My boyfriend didn't assume that she stopped taking BC, just chose to. She announced that to her family. She said it was too hard to remember to take the pills (which didn't seem like an issue for the 4 years I've known her!) and "what happens, happens"... My mom would probably tell me I'm making a dumb move. But, once again, I'm not her :)

Personally, my opinion completely, I don't agree with her choice that she made. She's barely going to graduate college and she's going to have a baby 2 months after. They're already struggling financially... I just think it was a bad move. I thought both of them were going to be smarter.. And actually be ready, instead of a case of "Oops".

And yes, its her choice, her body, her marriage... So let me rephrase the question... Has anyone witnessed someone make a bad mistake and no one else realizes it but you?