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Does anyone know of where I can find laws from way back in 1977 pertaining to establishing paternity in the state of Virginia at that time then through the years up to 1994? What I am specifically looking for is what proof was required to establish paternity during those years in order to obtain support, etc for a child and then also what would occur if the father immediately after being told of conception fled the state of Virginia never to return again. Thanks for any help you can offer.
This looked interesting. I think it will guide you to what your looking for.
Ref:
http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0oGkkOoxn...alAnalysis.pdf
If nothing was done, if a person wanted to do something now, the rules now would apply,
The rules then only apply to actions done at that time, so if the court did not establish it then, the rules then do not apply now
Thank you Cali
Fr_Chuck, you are assuming I want this information to acquire back child support but I said absolutely nothing about pursuing a case to acquire back child support, I am not the least bit interested in acquiring his money, not like he has any to take anyway. I simply want to know what options my then 15 year old mother had in regards to proving that my then 18 year old father was indeed my father. The way the law currently reads she had no recourse because back then there was no option of DNA testing and especially since he immediately fled the state of Virginia. My mother did receive government services for me when I was a child and Child Support Enforcement had his name and information (that was how I found him back in 1996) but it doesn't appear that they took interest in protecting my interest in the case and then Virginia Child Protective Services didn't pursue the case either (I was placed in foster care in 1989, they stated they tried to locate my father but to no avail). So it has came upon me as an adult to pursue a paternity case.
I have a much bigger objective here that has nothing to do with money. All I want is for him to submit to a DNA test in order to establish paternity, acquire my medical history and change my birth certificate to include his name so the father's information is not blank (legitimate myself). I have no clue why he won't voluntarily do the test and I have tried everything to get him to including:
Signing a notarized letter (or any other form he requests) waiving my rights to his estate following his death (I'm his only child but he does have a POS wife) and that I will in no way seek any type of money from him prior to death either (I'm not entitled anyway).
Paying him up to $5,000 him to submit to a DNA test
Signing any type of notarized letter or form stating that I will never contact him or any member of his family again after receiving the medical and genealogy history information.
SO... the only option I am left with is to take a paternity action against him in the state of TN (where he currently lives because Virginia has stated they have no jurisdiction over him) and argue that the current laws is in violation of my civil rights which is going to be a long drawn out process that will require much money being spent on my part unless I represent myself through the appeals or I get a law firm to volunteer their help or the ACLU takes interest in the case. But the clock is ticking on me because he is an alcoholic and he's now reached 51. My paternal grandfather was also an alcoholic who died from the effects of that when he was only 53. So I don't have anything evil, malicious, vengeful or anything else in mind, I don't know why these cases always have to revolve around money. He is nothing, never has been anything, but I certainly would be wanting the same thing even if he was a homeless man on the streets. My father is my father and I have a right to know who that is and my descendants have a right to that information as well. He dies and this is lost forever.
Well for one thing you have looked at this from your side only. What you want seems harmless enough when in fact it may not be. I believe most states have lifted any SOL on sex crimes against children. And in reality that may be what we are talking about. If he was 18 and your mom 15 at birth then its possible he could still have penalties upon him. Also that could be why he ran in the first place. Just something to think about.
Yes I actually have thought about that. Virginia has no statute of limitations on the offense in which he is guilty of – Carnal knowledge of a child between thirteen and fifteen years of age. But I would think that someone would have to notify the prosecutor’s office and request them to pursue the case but would also think they would consider the case stale and not wish to proceed with it because of the age of the case, but one I suppose could also argue it is not stale because of the DNA evidence. But no one has an interest in doing any of that.
Virginia also has no statute of limitations in which to collect for past due child support including that of which is owed to the state for reimbursement of funds used to care for a child, so he could owe a lot back to the state of Virginia if one were to notify Child Support Enforcement that such action was commenced and paternity proven but again, I nor my mother have an interest in pursuing any of that.
My father is sadly not a very smart man, he has been telling his family he is worried that I will be able to obtain back child support from him (which we all know is false) so I don’t believe he is thinking in that manner, but judging from the reaction I received from my uncle (his younger brother) the other day, the family wasn’t aware my mother was that young. He stated my mother was in the wrong for not pursuing this case back when I was a baby. I stated “you REALLY expected a 15 year old CHILD to fight this battle, especially in 1977?” So perhaps someone on his side of the family is somewhat smart and he could NOW unfortunately be paranoid about this. He lived with his grandparents when he was young and his parents lived in a different state so none of them were around when this occurred.
I get your point, I have considered all of that and I could certainly cause harm to come upon him but I do not wish for that. I never pointed any of that out to him (by stating I will also not to this…) I did not want to make him paranoid. I just don’t know what to do in order to convince him no harm will come to him by my hands if he submits to what I have requested so I think my hands are tied in that matter and I will have to pursue the case and hope for the best.
How about this for a tactic. And you would have to run it by a lawyer first. Since your only seeking information and since we know a "home test" is not addmissible in court. You and he could sign a non disclosure pact. That mean that with a wink and a nod it doesn't go beyond the both of you. You can't tell anyone the results. You can't announce that you have proof he IS the father etc. All it does is give you what you need and that is information. That's all. Its done outside the rhelm of the courts. And if written correctly it is binding legally. Nondisclosue is a serious matter. So think long and hard about it. If you have children later you may not be able to disclose the outcome. Something to think about.
Hum... yeah I see what you are saying. Only problem with a nondisclosure I would think that would also prevent me from legitimizing myself on my birth certificate since I would have to provide the results of the test to Virginia Courts in order to go through the process of changing my birth certificate and then of course to Virginia Division of Vital Records. I do have children, 3 actually, so I would not wish not to disclose the information to them. They have all already asked who their grandfather is from my side of the family, why he isn't around, etc. Very painful questions for me to answer. But thank you for the advice!
That is the good and bad sides of nondisclosure. It allows you to have something but it also takes away at the same time. So it is a very awkward position to be in.
True. I've thought about this from every angle for 14 years and have come up empty handed every time aside from court action and fighting to change the statute of limitations in the state (which I do actually have a very good case for). I've proceeded to hire an attorney and will begin court proceedings soon unless he waves the white flag prior to the filing. Now the waiting game...
From another standpoint - why does this matter to you? It sounds like your life has gone on, whether you are "legitimate" or not - and so has his.
It's not like you want your children to know their Grandfather and you say you have no interest in him supporting you - which you probably couldn't accomplish.
Other than embarrassing him for something that happened years ago, I don't understand what you intend to accomplish or why it matters - ?
Every child has a right to know who their father is. How is this to embarrass him? It's not like he's a public figure or anything. Not like I'm screaming it from roof tops (trust me, that's the LAST thing I would do). And if he just simply submitted to the DNA test and allowed me to change my BC then it would be a completely private matter. I also don't see myself as "something that happened years ago", I am a person. If he has anything to be embarrassed about, that is on him. He was the one who dated a minor and got her pregnant, he is the one who fled the state. Sorry, but I have no sympathy for him.
I am with you as far as knowing who your father is and having a medical history. What I don't get is why you want his name on your birth certificate? This man has not been your father so why would you want to honor him by taking his name?
Maybe if you took the name thing off the table, he would be more willing to do the DNA thing.
Yes I agree with you, I didn't see it as honoring him. It would be nice to leave my ancestors with a name for them. I do genealogy and I know how frustrating and disappointing it can be when you get to an illegitimate child (and we ALL have at least one somewhere in our branches) and the line suddenly stops there. I don't know, I could possibly leave the results behind or something but it doesn't really matter because he won't even do a DNA test. My point is that if I am going to spend all that money to get knowledge and a peace of mind about the issue I might as well put it to some other good. Really he could show up for a private DNA test and then sign some paperwork to be submitted to vital records and it all be over with privately. I really don't think I'm asking for that much.Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
I only added the name addition to my birth certificate now since I am having to hire an attorney, that wasn't on the table before.Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
Quote:
Originally Posted by southerngal77
It seems like you already KNOW who your father is - or so you say. I "assume" he has a family which may or may not know about you and your mother.
You appear to have a lot of anger toward this man - as far as dating a minor and getting her pregnant (which may or may not have been against the law) he was not the only participant in the sex act. I see no indication that he used force on your mother.
What steps did your mother take over the years to force him to face up to his responsibilities? And what steps did her parents take (assuming, again, that she was legally a minor)?
What are your mother's thoughts on this now? If he is NOT your father it would appear she will have been living a lie all these years. Sometimes it's easier to live a lie than face the truth and "we" have run into this same problem on the missing persons board - located the "father" and then found out after many, many years that he's NOT the "father."
I think you are taking these steps to "legitimize" yourself out of anger. And, yes, we all have dead ends in our family trees.
My late husband's entire family (other than his parents) was killed in Nazi Germany - he also had big gaps in his family history.
As long as you've thought this through and have an Attorney shielding you from a lawsuit (in the event the info you have is incorrect) I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for - a family, peace, an answer.
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I work in the Court system - if you are wrong there is absolutely a lawsuit possible against you as well as your mother. I don't know why you find that laughable - it happens, at least in NY (and I appreciate that you are not in NY).
As far as rape - sex with a minor is considered rape because the minor cannot consent.
This is the legal board - what I do or do not think about a man who "ran away" from his responsibilities does not matter. This is not a public poll site. What I think about an underage female whose family does NOT take the alleged father into Court to support the child likewise does not matter.
As far as not being able to find him (or whatever the reason was for not pursuing this at the time of your birth), that's what private investigators are for. He did not totally disappear; he would have been found; child support would have started on the day the papers were filed, not the day he was located. Also, paternity would have been established.
{orphaned-<>} the fact remains that she was underage, she had sex, she got pregnant. That's not an accusation. It appears - by virtue of what you have posted - to be fact. She, of course, did not have the ability to give consent to intercourse as she was underage.
I also see you manipulating his family - his family doesn't like his wife so they are supporting you and hoping he will go against her wishes?
Again - there is more to this than proving paternity. You wouldn't be the first nor the last person who had contact with everyone or anyone in the birth parent's father without a relationship with the birth parent.
As Judy pointed out, the Code you cite is considered statutory rape. You mother was under the age of consent, ergo its rape whether she consents.Quote:
Originally Posted by southerngal77
The only way your mother can "know" he is your father is if she had no other partners around the time of conception. Given her age, I will assume that was the case. But if that was the case, then a DNA test will only confirm what is a physical fact.
One last point. I have edited some of your comments and removed another post. The comments removed were part of a totally unjustified personal attack against another member. I've read and re-read the posts looking for anything to justify your remarks and could not find such justification. That members was answering your question, responding to what you posted and was trying to give you advice to deal with the situation you are asking about. Nothing more than that.
So let's bottom line this. Are you seeking some leverage to force him to take the test? If he does take the test what will change for you?
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