Hi,

I am a bit confused, its been 2 years I have been working for this organization, I have been in this industry for couple of years, I don’t have an issue working for this organization it is a strong institute, but my boss who I am reporting to makes me dishearten to stick with this organization. Firstly I am here to setup a business model for which my boss has no knowledge of, I have tried to build this department with very clear intention and it is visible and he sometimes acknowledged as well.

• He displays that he encourages positive criticism on any issue or process, but actually gets mad and starts shouting on top of his voice when I disagree with something.
• Since he gets in petty matters which should be left to department managers (that’s me) and few others, the prime job what we expect out of him to do, gets delayed he wants to be a one man show which is ridiculous.
• Seems that our communications has some barriers cause he doesn’t get a clear picture if we are discussing something related to work since he is inexperienced related to my area therefore he looks for stupid possibilities and due to this reason I become very tensed cause if he understand me incorrectly the outcome can be risky.
• He tends to put a lot of pressure on people working under him but when it comes to questioning other support department for which a delay has been caused he displays no guts.
• For any odd reason if some how a tiny mistake is made by my subordinates he will scold me to the level that it makes me feel that I am incompetent and not living up to his expectations.
• He is impatient and loves fire fighting cause he is unable to get the work done at his level, I give him a benefit of doubt maybe the upper management discourages or delay it or otherwise.

I don’t know how can I cope up with his expectations and keep him calm and keep a good relationship, he is kind of introvert personality.

Please help

Appears to me that he can't handle management issues, is totally stressed out in his position, let alone unable to understand what exactly his position is... from what you describe. This guy should not be supervising anything.

I don't know what you can do, daverocks, other then save yourself esteem and good will and just get out from under him. I know this is not what you want to do because you obviously enjoy what you do.

Tick

From what you describe about him, he's very unreceptive, so I wouldn't advise trying to earnestly communicate your frustration to him in the hopes of working something out.

If your organization doesn't have periodic performance reviews, request one anyway between you and your boss, even if it's informal. During the review discuss what you feel are your duties, underline your expertise in the area and tell him that while you respect his input, you hope he can feel confident enough to allot you the autonomy to perform your job. If he agrees that you've been performing competently so far, he should have no trouble denying you this.

You could also take the opportunity to discuss what your expectations are of him as your manager and what he can do to help the team function smoother. You mentioned that work often gets delayed because he's afraid to question other departments and he tries to be a one-man show. Bring up a couple of examples, but rather than sound like you're complaining or blaming him, stress that, as a manager, you've noticed the importance of meeting certain timelines and how delayed actions/inaction have negatively affected team performance, organizational effectiveness, profit, etc. in the past.

He sounds like a micro-manager who wants to control all the aspects of what you do but he doesn't quite understand what you do.

The thing with bosses like this is, that it's very difficult to point out to them how unsettling their behavior is. They can't be 'fixed'. They think they're doing their job by controlling you.

So, don't argue with him (even if he's wrong). Give him all the information he needs - in fact, as much as you can. Don't ask his advice, but explain to him in detail what you're doing - in the interests of communication and information of course. Let him know what you're doing all the time. Be subtle about it, but eventually it might start to drive him crazy.

Praise him when he does something right, ignore him when he does something wrong - again, you'll need to be subtle about it.

If he berates you for the mistakes made by others don't apologize, simply let him know that you understand his concern and that you will speak to the person involved. Change the subject to deflect his focus on to something else.

Stressful as it is dealing with him, try not to take it personally. Remember, it's him not you.

Dear Gemini54,

Thank you so much, seems you are able to understand my boss's profile clearly and his actions.your response is beautiful.

The problem is when I try to explain him he understands something different, and when I try to bring him on the lines which what he should understand he gets annoyed and the feeling he gives me that my concepts are not clear, since I don't want to argue, therefore I have to re-do the document according to the concept what he preceived, most of the times he forgets what was discussed, and when something's comes in his head, I am lost.

He wants to experience with trial and error,which I already learnt in different organization with experience. Probably he doesn't trust my work, he does not want to listen to the background, he requires that I should answer to the point what he wants to listen.He displays that he is a good decision maker for my work, but keeps things pending, because without his approval things can't move.

As stated above, and the point which you have shared that (it's him not me), do you think that my annual performance rating would be any good. And lastly according to him what kind for a person I am? Good,bad,worse, intelligent or something.. he only quotes sometime that I have done a remarkable job and I am hardworking that's no doubt about it... but I am confused.

Looking forward for your reply.

Regards
Dave

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gemini54

He sounds like a micro-manager who wants to control all the aspects of what you do but he doesn't quite understand what you do.

The thing with bosses like this is, that it's very difficult to point out to them how unsettling their behavior is. They can't be 'fixed'. They think they're doing their job by controlling you.

So, don't argue with him (even if he's wrong). Give him all the information he needs - in fact, as much as you can. Don't ask his advice, but explain to him in detail what you're doing - in the interests of communication and information of course. Let him know what you're doing all the time. Be subtle about it, but eventually it might start to drive him crazy.

Praise him when he does something right, ignore him when he does something wrong - again, you'll need to be subtle about it.

If he berates you for the mistakes made by others don't apologize, simply let him know that you understand his concern and that you will speak to the person involved. Change the subject to deflect his focus on to something else.

Stressful as it is dealing with him, try not to take it personally. Remember, it's him not you.

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It actually sounds like your boss has ADD 'attention deficit disorder', which would explain some of his actions. Some people, acquiring this disorder at an early age never grow out of it, left untreated. It doesn't mean they are unintelligent, just that they don't perceive issues the same way as normal thinkers do; act differently, misinterpret facial expressions, etc.

tick

To be perfectly honest, I think that trying to analyze what he thinks of you is counter productive. You can't know what is in his head, and I certainly can't tell you!

Take his words at face value - he thinks you're hardworking and he values what you do. I'm sure your annual performance review will be fine - but I'd be taking examples of your work and be sure to talk up what you've done.

Make sure that you focus on your performance, not whether he likes you or not.

Thanks Tickle and Gemini54, your inputs has been very valuable.

Your guyz have given me such a relief.

Regards
Dave