I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years, we've lived together for 4 years and we've always had a pretty good relationship, until now. We went out together last year to a party and he got really drunk, he was quite verbally abusive to me and on the way home my best friend (who is a gay guy) was helping him to walk. I've just found out that on the way back my boyfriend was groping him inappropriately and coming on to him. I don't know what to think now. He isn't particularly "manly", he never looks at porn and he's never that fussed about having sex which never bothered me before, we do have an OK sex life-about once every three or four days but if we happen to go longer without he's never particularly fussed.

Before we started going out he hadn't had a girlfriend for years. I knew him a year before we got together and he never seemed that interested, we got together because I made all the effort. I've talked to him about it and he says he's not gay and he doesn't remember doing it and he shrugged it off as just being the drink and I want to trust him but I'm really struggling to stop thinking about it. I don't know how to move past this.

Well, for one thing... people do really, really stupid things while under the influence. (Drugs or alcohol).

Second... that does seem really odd for a normal "manly" guy... so it is possible he has those tendencies.


How old is he?

I'd be more concerned about the verbal abuse that the groping. What's he so angry about?

He may or may not have gay tendencies, however the important thing is that you have doubts and your intuition is niggling you about what has happened.

Clearly he's unprepared to talk about it at this stage.

All you can do is decide to give him the benefit of the doubt and move forward - but I suggest it would pay to be vigilant, it may be that there is something within him or within the relationship that is troubling him.