The baby sitter refuses to give me her EIN or Social security nymber so I can file for child care credit. Can I go ahead an file for this credit without it

See IRS Pub 503, pages 8 & 9, where it talks about "due diligence" to get the care provider's ITIN or SSN:

http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p503.pdf

Fill in whatever information in section 1 of form 2441 that you can (name and address), write "see attached statement" in the identifying number column, and attach a statement to your return indicating that you requested the provider's SSN but he/she refused to give it to you.

However, let me ask you a question: you took your child to the care provider's home, as opposed to the provider coming to your home, right? Just want to make sure you don't have a "nanny-tax" issue here.