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-   -   Girlfriend want a break what should I do (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=444972)

  • Feb 9, 2010, 09:30 AM
    mjs13350
    Girlfriend want a break what should I do
    Please don't create multiple threads with the same question

    OK here it is. I've been dating my girlfriend for a little bit over a year now. At first things were going really well. She moved in with me 6 months after we dated because she wanted to and also she was having knee surgery and I lived on the bottom level so easy access for her.

    After a few months past she started to change a little bit by her attitude and the way she was acting towards me and I thought it was because of school and work. During those months the sex just died as well.

    The past few months I noticed we don't really spend that much time together because she is a full time student and she is going to be a bio major and she also works three jobs. She currently a junior in college. But when we do spend time together its either when she gets home from school about ot go to work or after work about to go to bed. I also noticed that we don't talk as much like we used to anymore calling or by txting.

    This past week I noticed her going out with a lot of her friends and partying a decent amount and it doesn't bother me because she allowed to have friends and all. But this weekend I talked to her about everything and wanted to see how she feels. When I asked her if she was happy in general she said no. she felt like she was pressured from her parents esp mother because she didn't want to dissappoint her because her mom thinks its always her fault for everything for fights or break ups. So I said to her what do you want right now. She told me she wanted a break and not have the title of boyfriend girlfriend and wants to experience college life right now and just be happy and she doesn't want to hurt me either. I told her we should take a break because I wasn't as happy with her as in the beginning so I agreed to having a break with her. She told me not to have any girls come over if she is home and I said the same thing to her or at all. But she still told me that she loves me so much and cares for me and still wants me in her life.

    So during the weekend we had a huge snow storm and had no electric for 36 hrs. sat morning we woke up and played a few board games just to pass time. In the afternoon she went ot her guys friends house to get warm and take a shower and just hang out. I decided to go to my friends house to hangout and get warm as well. But that night I came home because she said she was going to and I didn't want her to spend the night alone. When she came home I kindof was asleep but the snow has fallen a lot and she couldn't park anywhere from all the snow, so she went ot her girlfriend house. She txted me and let me know she was there and after that she didn't really text me at all.

    When she came home the next day an hour before she had to work I asked what she did last night and she said she went to a party with the girlfriend she stayed with and all. I was like all right kindof irritated with that but oh well. Then she went ot work and she was supposed to be off at 7 she came home around 8 30 and told me she was at a bar with her manager that needed some company because she got in a fight with her boyfriend. But when she came home I told her she could have stayed out but she wanted to be with me. Which was nice to hear. Then in the am I had to go to work but when I left she gave me a hug and kiss and told me she loved me and have a good day at work. I was like all right thanks and all.

    When I got to work I haven't heard from her text or a phone call and its been 2 days now. I don't know what to do because she is living with me but she not on the lease either? I don't know if I should just give her space or what? I don't even know if I should tell her to move out because I know it be hard for me to see her when I come home from work and she will be there. I know she didn't take a break for her to see a guy but I'm just clueless now. I haven't tried to text or call her at all so if someone could help that be awesome.
  • Feb 9, 2010, 09:47 AM
    toxiccc

    What a drama. I feel sorry for you. She doesn't know what she wants and you are doing everything for her. Can't you see that? How would it be if the roles were reversed? Can you step out of your own shoes and see yourself in this situation? She has everything she needs with you except, I'm sorry, she doesn't want it to be with YOU. So she doesn't want to loose you completely just in case there's nothing better out there. You're acting nurturing like her father or something and she's probably not feeling"in love" love, but caring friendship love. That's not fair to you.

    You're obviously very much in love with her but she is using you and you don't want to see it. You'll probably stay and support her, living in a false hope she does really love you.

    You seems like a very nice guy, a lot of girls would like to be with you, and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better about yourself, it's the truth. She doesn't deserve you.
    But anyway, I'm just giving my opinion, the girl could be having some major issues, but this is most like not the case here.
    Good luck!
  • Feb 9, 2010, 09:54 AM
    Romefalls19

    Honestly, I'd ask her what she wants. If she wants space, someone has to move out because this sounds like too many mind games for me to deal with. She goes out, comes home and asks like a loving girlfriend showing you affection. Find out what's going on and go from there
  • Feb 9, 2010, 02:33 PM
    talaniman
    What kind of break are you on, if she is living with you rent free?? And without commitment??

    The only break she would get from me is take all her stuff, and leave.

    If you accept stupid bad behavior, that's what you will keep getting. I can believe you agreed to this crap!
  • Feb 9, 2010, 04:15 PM
    IamMeyouAreyou

    You're the star in this. You are handling everything wonderfully, this time apart will make her realize how much se wants you, if not it will allow you to continue on with your life. Either way it's a step forward.

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