My husband killed himself in the early morning of May 2. 2009. He had gone to his friends the night before and called to say hi and what he was doing. He apparently got an upsetting phone call and several text messages that set this in motion. His family is blaming me, but I didn't call him. Could he have been cheating? Why would he shoot himself over that?

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the amount of pain and anguish you are feeling. Unfortunately, these questions will go unanswered. He may or may not have been cheating, we don't know.

How was your relationship toward the end?

I am sorry for your loss but there is no real way to know unless you can get his cell phone records which I very much doubt at this time.

You can't know what was in his head when he took his own life. Sadly he's the only one that knows why he did what he did.

People make a choice when they take their own lives. Unfortunately families are left behind to deal with that choice and all the questions that remain unanswered.

Regardless of what the circumstances were, ultimately your husband made up his own mind about what he wanted to do.

It's very unfair for his family to blame you because no-one can, in the end, control what other people do.

It's like the old saying... A permanent solution to a temporary problem.

You can't continue to blame yourself or keep beating yourself up for the actions of another person. We cannot control another person's actions.

People who kill thierself are not thinking logically, so it may be no one thing that caused it.

So no I doubt he was cheating, most likely a lot of problems all mounting together.

I agree with all the above posts,just to add,his family perhaps need a 'scapegoat' someone to blame,but of course there is no to blame as he took his own life.

One of the worst thoughts after a suicide is 'how did I not know something was wrong' 'why could they not tell me' they are natural thoughts,and hopefully in time they can accept the only your husband can give them the answers they need.

You need to take care of you.

I just wondered if someone rang the number from the call or text.

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Originally Posted by J_9

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the amount of pain and anguish you are feeling. Unfortunately, these questions will go unanswered. He may or may not have been cheating, we don't know.

How was your relationship toward the end?

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Our relationship was real strong and loving, however he had a friend (male) whom I had never met that had a lot of power over him. I don't know. He was my high school sweetheart and we are now in our 40's. I know he loved me, and I loved him.

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Originally Posted by johnmylove0517

our relationship was real strong and loving, however he had a friend (male) whom I had never met that had a lot of power over him. I don't know. He was my high school sweetheart and we are now in our 40's. I know he loved me, and I loved him.

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And that is all you need to remember, that you and he loved each other. Too many people like to make up stories or gossip things they really don't know, or even blame the dead for things so that they will not feel as guilty for things they actually did,

Just remember the good, and live with that memory, I buried two wife's in the past and others all wanted to tell stories new or old, but in the end, the ones saying things are thoughtless fools, you remember what he was to you, then and what you felt for each other in your heart, and let that be the memory you keep

Sometimes anger is an easier emotion to deal with than grief - that's why his family is looking for someone to blame.

You most probably will never know what happened, why he took his life - but you do know it is NOT your fault, right?